Coming out to roommate I've never met...

[TheAwesomePrussia]

Not necessarily "coming out" in general. But just, need advice.

So I got my roommate-assignment for the new school semester. And I went ahead and sent an email explaining my situation.
My school's policy states that roommate assignments are based on biological gender and until I have SRS, I have to be assigned with females.
I figured it was only fair and respectful to tell my roommate ahead of time that she would be rooming with a boy. I'd hate to have something start from it upon arrival, like her mother shooing me out or something, or calling housing and accusing them of making a mistake, or even just her being uncomfortable. So I went ahead and explained to her that I was ftm.

But if she is uncomfortable with it and decides to request a new roommate, what do I do? What if it happens again? I'm just afraid that I'd get kicked out of housing if they can't find someone willing to room with me...

[riccirules]

I'm sort of in the same boat.
Only, I haven't told my room mate yet.
I figure that's the type of thing I need to tell her in person.

[TheAwesomePrussia]

When the school gives us our contact information and promotes getting to know each other before we start rooming together, I kind of feel like I'm lying to her if I don't say anything. Especially if it just happens to be her first time in an on-campus apartment. The school's told her that she's rooming with another girl named "Moriah", so when she gets there under that impression, what's she going to think when she instead see's a boy named Orion?

[riccirules]

I figure, for my particular situation, it's okay.
She's on my facebook (which states I'm male), and knows me by my transitional name (Richie).
But that's not going to excuse me from telling her.
I'd just rather do it in person.

But everyone's different.

I don't know if they have this at your college, but at my school, we have "amnesty week", where, if you are unhappy with your housing situation or don't get along with your room mates, arrangements can be made for the room mates to not live together anymore.

[TheAwesomePrussia]

We don't have that. Rather, if someone isn't happy with their housing situation, they just go to the Housing office and tell them, then they're switched with someone else who doesn't like their rooming situation, or offered different housing.

[~RoadToTrista~]

I wonder what having a male roommate would be like. Might be fun, I'm tired of being around girls all the time.

[TheAwesomePrussia]

I get the feeling that a guy would be much cooler with it. I just find that other guys tend to be a lot cooler about it than girls. Or maybe that's just my bias?

[~RoadToTrista~]

Nope you're right. For ftm's anyway.

[Cindy]

If you can let her know before hand that would be a polite thing to do. It is also taking responsibility, which is something we all need to learn. Sorry if that sounds like Grandma Cindy, but you guys are at an age when things change. Guys do take responsibility for their lives. Most fail badly from the female point of view (joking ), but guys like to be independent and push the boundaries. It is a guy thing. But when you push them you are responsible for them. That is also a guy thing.

I hope college/Uni goes well. It is a great place to find yourself.

Hugs

Cindy

[~RoadToTrista~]

Guy thing? I don't wanna depend on some man. >.>

[Cindy]

Guy thing? I don't wanna depend on some man. >.>

I didn't mean it that way . I'm not dependent on anyone. And I didn't imply, I hope, that women are dependent on guys. I did say that guys need to be responsible for their actions. Guys look up on their actions differently than many woman do. And yes that is a broad statement. But I'm not trying to nail banners to the wall.

Cindy

[Maga Girl]

I did say that guys need to be responsible for their actions. Guys look up on their actions differently than many woman do.

And women don't?

[TheAwesomePrussia]

If you can let her know before hand that would be a polite thing to do. It is also taking responsibility, which is something we all need to learn. Sorry if that sounds like Grandma Cindy, but you guys are at an age when things change. Guys do take responsibility for their lives. Most fail badly from the female point of view (joking ), but guys like to be independent and push the boundaries. It is a guy thing. But when you push them you are responsible for them. That is also a guy thing.

I hope college/Uni goes well. It is a great place to find yourself.

Hugs

Cindy

I agree. I just wouldn't be comfortable going into a room with a female without warning her ahead of time.
And I know exactly what you mean. I'm actually a year and a half into college, and as you can see, I found myself during that time.

And women don't?

I think (correct me if I'm wrong) that she means to say that guys are more likely to go out on a limb, but need to take responsibility for doing so. And while she wasn't necessarily implying anything about women, perhaps it was just a comparison to the concept that women are less likely than men to get themselves into situations where they have to take responsibility for a negative action. Just a guess. Again. Correct me if I'm wrong.
But I think she was just trying to be complementary, rather than infer anything about gender differences.

[wallflower]

If she requests a new room mate you just forget it and move onto your new room mate in the same manor. You're doing the right thing and you'll find most people wont care, certainly not enough to do anything about it so even if one person runs off it's not the end of the world.

Don't be too bothered if they do change rooms as a result as I know I would change rooms if someone had told me they are: messy, a party lover, loud etc.. except these things are not told to prospective room mates before hand. Yes it's annoying that someone would move rooms because of you being FTM but, oh well one less annoying person to meet!

[TheAwesomePrussia]

I suppose so. But the wait for a reply is somewhat bothersome. 8I Too much time for "what if" thoughts.