How do you feel ?

[ZaidaZadkiel]

I used to say that, too...
But I'm older now, much older.
If I could do it over, I would have changed. Everything.

I wouldn't change anything because everything was my own choice. How could I choose otherwise ?

[ativan]

The choices are not always you or them, they are you and you. Your choices.
Everyone likes to think they wouldn't change a thing, but think about it. Some of those choices didn't work out that well.
If you had the chance you would do it differently. How would you know? You know now and you knew then.
You live your life, you make a mistake. You spend the rest of your life wondering at the least. Or trying to change the past.
Those are your choices, sometimes they are good or bad. You have to reccognize, and you do, a bad choice.
Depression is just that. You made the wrong choice. Maybe you find it hard to live with that. I know I do.

Ativan

[JungianZoe]

I think this is the hardest night I've ever known.  Once I used to be able to hope, but not anymore.  I can't afford the help I need and there's nothing left.  Nothing... just complete emptiness.

Maybe I haven't lost hope.  Maybe I still hope things will be better in the morning.

[ativan]

I think this is the hardest night I've ever known.  Once I used to be able to hope, but not anymore.  I can't afford the help I need and there's nothing left.  Nothing... just complete emptiness.

Maybe I haven't lost hope.  Maybe I still hope things will be better in the morning.

I really like you in your videos, does that help at all?
Talk to you in the morning then?

Ativan

[JungianZoe]

I really like you in your videos, does that help at all?
Talk to you in the morning then?

Thank you!   Those videos are rather fun to do.

And yes, I'll be here in the morning.  The storm has passed for the time being.  Been cycling through suicidal thoughts and sheer elation four or five times a day these past couple weeks and it's taking its toll on me.  Time to go sleep while my brain is calmed down.

[ZaidaZadkiel]

The choices are not always you or them, they are you and you. Your choices.
Everyone likes to think they wouldn't change a thing, but think about it. Some of those choices didn't work out that well.
If you had the chance you would do it differently. How would you know? You know now and you knew then.
You live your life, you make a mistake. You spend the rest of your life wondering at the least. Or trying to change the past.
Those are your choices, sometimes they are good or bad. You have to reccognize, and you do, a bad choice.
Depression is just that. You made the wrong choice. Maybe you find it hard to live with that. I know I do.

Ativan

spoiler: you cannot go back in time to change things.
Dwelling on it seems pointless to me.
But yes, given my experiences, next time I will try to choose something better.

[ativan]

spoiler: you cannot go back in time to change things.
Dwelling on it seems pointless to me.
But yes, given my experiences, next time I will try to choose something better.

Isn't that what I just said? Your dwelling on it is your depression.

[ZaidaZadkiel]

Isn't that what I just said? Your dwelling on it is your depression.

I read something completely different.
Just don't mind me, I'm angry and hormonal.

[ativan]

Then your not depressed? Just angry AND hormonal.
OK...I hope your feeling better today.

Here in Minnesota it is clear in the 70's and lightly gusting breezes.
I'm going out to catch a nap on the deck.

I bought another Strat and two more amps at the Swap Meet here.
Its huge, like 4 blocks long and there's 6 rows of them,packed with people
And some Breyer Horses for my daughter(I missed her birthday)
Nap time!

Ativan

[mimpi]

How do I feel?

Not that great today, can't sleep and it's 2.30 in the morning here in London. Had my Piaggio scooter nicked (stolen) on 2 nights ago which hasn't help and my flatmate and best friend has had to move to another city. We loved each other I think but it was one of those things that will always stay that way. Have been in crisis a bit for a few days tbh which is why why I came here! Fed up with arguing with people on other forums that are meant to be LGBT but are in reality G and a certain type of G at that. The other talkboard I used to post on (Guardian Talk) was closed and its replacement (NottheTalk) has been overrun destroyed by right wing extremists.

All that and my lesbian friend leaving has left me feeling really exposed about my gender situation. I've been trans for so very many years but only today has it occurred to me that I'm never conscious of my gender when around women. Really stupid of course but the sometimes the obvious is hard to see.

Sorry for the moan! It should have been: "Come stai? - Non c'è male" 

[foosnark]

I love this weather!  I want to be outside, walking and enjoying nature and some good music.

I'll settle for one out of three plus occasionally looking out the (unopenable) window at the parking lot and sighing mock-wistfully.

Also I feel accomplished and yet like a slacker at the same time.

[foosnark]

A friend shared this link on Facebook, and I thought the sentiment was... well, awesome:  Waking Up Full of Awesome

[Julian]

Today I feel incredibly anxious and dysphoric, to the point of hiding from most everyone except my partner. Shame, because today was a beautiful day. Ah well, the weather is supposed to be beautiful tomorrow too, and I'll hopefully be outside enjoying it.

[heatherrose]

I feel good...
...happy
pensive...

[foosnark]

This would be a great day to go back home, have a good stiff drink, crawl under the covers, and stay there until evening.

[Julian]

I feel optimistic. I'm going to ride my bike to class in the sunshine and kick my exam's ass. Gender-related anxiety is still present, I didn't expect it to completely go away overnight. But it's better.

[caseyy]

Exhausted. Having lots of nightmares about various anxieties in real life. Never happens to me. Dreamt that someone groped my breasts and said I was nothing but a woman. Dreamt of a huge fight with family members I'm having problems with, resulting in one beating me up (in the dream). Dreamt of not being able to understand my graduate school material.

Why am I so stressed already??

[Sevan]

Exhausted. Having lots of nightmares about various anxieties in real life. Never happens to me. Dreamt that someone groped my breasts and said I was nothing but a woman.
Why am I so stressed already??

Aw that's awful!!! *hugs*

[caseyy]

*hugs* I think it was related to coming out to everyone in class, and then a few minutes later spilling ketchup on my (unfortunately) ample bosom... which I then had to wipe off, making it obvious to everyone. :| Made me pretty uncomfortable at the time.

[Jaden.D]

I just want to hide, today. Having issues with my body the past several days - wanting to stay covered up, despite the warm weather. Today, I am so uncomfortable with my body that I barely want to exist. It's not a suicidal sort of feeling, though. I don't know what it is.