HRT if still undecided youbwant to go FT

[Felecia]

If you are able to go out in public, but don't do it all the time, still not sure you want to come out and take that big jump knowing it will change your relationships with partners and friends and work can taking hrt still work and be an option?  I'm in my 40's and have been going to a GT since last year and have already had multiple laser treatments. I would also like to add if I did go FT for the rest of my life I would require wearing a wig, not an option and would have to outside quite a bit with it too.

Felecia

[Cindy]

Hi Felicia,

I wear a wig, what wrong? Go to a good wig shop and get fitted with a GOOD wig, and get a spare if you can afford it.

I've jumped.

It has changed my relationships, my family and friends now know I'm a woman.

I'm happy.

It took me 50+ years.

What's the problem?

Sorry I'm not trying to be facetious.


Cindy

[Renate]

I would require wearing a wig, not an option...

Hey, this is the real world.
We do what we have to do.

[Felecia]

A bit more about me.
I'm in a relationship with a wonderful woman who has been supporting me with the confusion I have had for years. I thought it was confusion over my sexuality mixed up for years. You know, love looking at women but like things about men, wishing I was the woman etc etc.
Fast forward last year sought a referral from my GP for a GT started seeing a GT.  Also in that time I went to a place that specifically sells and styles wigs for people with cancer or alopecia etc. I spent an hour or more trying different wigs till I found one that was me and worked well with my face. A good quality synthetic wig that is monofiliment.

I have a few friends and family that know I'm going to a GT. It's a bit too much for some, and some have seen me as my true self. I have lost one friend over it.

I'm not sure if my dysphoria is great enough to go FT. I have never been suicidal but I know this dysphoria will never go away. I have gone out as my true self many times. On the weekend the whole day. I am good with makeup not great. My body is an average woman I think. Meaning not like the models that you see in magazines who are only two percent of the population. I'm self conscious of my hands but who isn't.

FT would change my relationship with my mate. She is heterosexual/ straight and didn't sign up for this. It would mean being friends and open up to dating others possibly too. Like many others I deal with fear. I love seeing the woman in the mirror over seeing the man in the mirror. I still don't know if I could afford the time off work in the future and with some debt to ever do SRS at my life in the future and also deal with dilation he rest of my life. Whether I transition or not, if I was single again and wanted to date again I would not be able to be intimate as I don't like what I was born with below, my dysphoria gets in the way.

I pass in public so think but still have doubts. I do get read in gay bars. I haven't been hit on in straight bars. Something I tried going into only recently to the waters. In public gatherings, social I don't get stares etc. My spouse, transgender support group members, and gender therapist say I look like a woman but I feel they are biased. I am also admittedly my own worst critic.

I also have some other stuff going on in my life with an elderly parent who I feel would be hard with dementia. I would need to be male around. So at this point I'm wondering about just trying hrt but not sure if I want to go FT and only on some of my days off work.  I wish I was born a cis gender woman and if I won a lottery jackpot making the decision to more changes hrt and ft would make my decision easier.

Felecia

[Randi]

Hello and welcome to the forums. Yes, your concerns sound familiar and all of us here at times deal with fears of one form or another. How we deal with it is an individual matter and different for all. Try to avoid getting in a hurry to make changes-it's a long term journey and at times can be a bumpy roller coaster ride. You have a therapist-that is great and will hopefully be a good thing to do. Not all therapists are good ones.

My hair is getting thin but I have not yet bought a wig as I operate on a shoestring budget. I plan to get one eventually.

Randi

[Cindy Stephens]

I am not out at work and have been on hrt for 7-8 years now.  You can do it, if that is what you want.  Lots of female to males pass completely before starting Testosterone.  IF you have good success with hrt you will jiggle a bit when you walk.  A bigger consideration is that hrt often decreases the male sex drive.  In my case it worked perfectly in bringing it down to my wife's frequency pattern.  I have also had all my facial hair removed, pluck the eyebrows to the smallest I dare, and have shoulder length hair.  I work in management at a construction co.  If anyone asked me about the boobs, I'd ask why they were looking at them.  It would be more of a problem if you had double D implants.  The one real problem I have is that my skin has thinned tremendously.  I really have to stop myself from doing a lot of guy stuff, or I'll get nasty looking bruises or skin tears.  It's expensive, but a girl I knew had that hair weave thing, it looked fabulous. and couldn't come off.  Hope this helps.

[Felecia]

I lift heavy boxes and stuff at times, sometimes for example 50 lb cases of paper ad an example, so yes I would have to watch it hoping not to get skin tear scratches or bruises.  There are some women who lift some heavy stuff sometimes too so I figure I could dobit too.

Good to see others who are on hey and yet not ft at work but their life is working out well.

Thank you
Felecia

[RhinoP]

I'm going to be honest, I think anti-androgen therapy is best suited for unsure cases; it's a benefit that doesn't exactly sprout you boobs and hips, but can potentially help on "male issues" like baldness, oil, thick skin, acne, further skeletal growth, further voice deepening, body hair hair thickness, there's many many things anti-androgens can prevent and its why many Trans teenagers are put on anti-androgens until they make a choice about their future; also, if you want me to share a bit of a media industry secret, it's said that people like Michael Jackson took anti-androgens to keep from becoming too masculine in a pop music world  (right at 20, his face transformed from a thick-skinned african to having very, very thin, tight skin that draped his face in a very lean, caucasian way - no surgical procedure I know of can do this, though he personally attributed it to "dieting". I attribute it to hormone therapy.) and from what it seems, they slowly reversed any masculine traits he may have developed otherwise. He also had very bad problems with acne and voice deeping right before age 20, so personally, I think he did something about it.

http://www.f33ln.com/index.php/culture/lali/128-qmj-was-castratedq.html

[Felecia]

RhinoP Too late for just anti-androgen by itself to work with me. I'm in my 40s. Too late for stopping skeletal development, voice change, balding etc. For body hair I shave.
I have had and am still having laser treatment on my face. Beard shadow is no longer a concern or issue. I will have electrolysis for any lighter hairs when done with laser.

I'm dealing with HRT and deciding on going full time. What my mtf relationships will be like, divorce (which will happen if I transition), abandonment fears, rejection, what would any future dating life be like. I can't function as a straight male. I can't function as a gay male. As a woman without SRS it would be difficult for some and me a bit too, male traces down there, not wanting that being an attractive part of me. A plan for how long before coming out at work FT What will retirement be like?  I have an elderly family member in a long term care home. I know that they have to help with getting ready for bed etc etc. I'm wondering about things like if i get SRS, dilation in my 80s or 90s when I will need assistance if I get dimentia etc.  If I was to stop taking hrt I know a lot can be reversible eg the boobs shrink a little, some function possibly back for down below. The brain would not change back. I've heard the only time really that people stop hrt is because of a bad reaction to the medication. When I start taking hrt it's for life as far as I'm concerned no turning back.

If I was younger, transitioning would be a whole lot easier. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has had to put some thought into it. I don't have to put a lot of thought into knowing who I am. I am transgender. I was born with a medical condition. My brain doesnt match body. The plumbing is wrong. I could go on in life with this body but I don't enjoy male bonding, male clothes, the idea of me being the man in any relationship. I like soft and pretty and beautiful things and being feminine. I like women's clothing, makeup, shoes, day dreams of me being the girl out on a date, me wishing I could be that beautiful girl walking down the street...instead of stuck with this male body, with the wrong plumbing and all.

Felecia