Mainly for those of you who desperately want kids and banked sperm

[tekla]

Not to mention that it's going to be jam packed with synthetic hormones.  Funny. most of the cis-women I know stop taking everything as soon as they know they are pregnant.

[mechakitty]

I've always felt that I never needed my own kids. I'm sure my brother will eventually produce several of them, and I'm completely fine being the crazy childless aunt who babysits them once in a while. I like kids, but I don't often fantasize about having any. I never really did, even growing up.

If I ever decide to raise my own kids, I'll just adopt. I think there's plenty of children in this world that don't have parents and could use a couple loving ones. Again, though, I've never really thought too much about this sort of thing. Maybe a maternal instinct will pop up suddenly in ten years, I don't know.

I guess in some ways, I'm afraid of screwing potential children up. I guess that's a fear all parents have at one point or another. Still, mostly, I just want the next ten years open to explore myself and the world outside. Ten years from now, who knows how I'll feel? Either way, I don't mind if my potential children are not technically my own. My mother keeps pushing me to go to the sperm bank, but I honestly don't care. And that's great if you do, though, it's wonderful that you're taking the step to still eventually have your own children someday. I just never had that drive, and the sperm bank is an expense that I'd rather not shell out for, considering all the other things I need to spend money on just so I, myself, can be happy.

[LifeInNeon]

It's the same as what a cis woman produces. And just like for cis women, the more important part is to keep the feeding schedule regular so your body keeps producing enough. No, this is not some *trick* for trans women. It works the same way for cis women: breast feeding is a use-it-or-lose-it bodily function no matter who you are. You can even stimulate it non-hormonally by mechanically pumping at regular intervals leading up to the birth so that your body produces a sufficient quantity. Without hormones, (either from pregnancy or HRT) a woman is unlikely to reach the same quantity as a pregnant woman or a trans woman with a progressive progesterone regimen.

And pregnant women who stop hormone replacement that they need for other reasons(particularly cis women on anti-androgens for hirsutism)  do so because it can cause birth defects, not because of anything being synthetic. Once the baby is born, the situation changes.

[LilKittyCatZoey]

well i see my endo next month i will ask

[azSam]

I actually went crazy friday night trying to figure out how I can stimulate breast milk production without hormones. And there are ways you can do it with your hands. Let me find a link.

Hi, I'm back. That was fast huh? I know. It was like instant. I'm cool like that. Here's the link.

http://web.archive.org/web/20100104101522/http://secondtype.com/lactation.htm

Should give some good information.

[LilKittyCatZoey]

I actually went crazy friday night trying to figure out how I can stimulate breast milk production without hormones. And there are ways you can do it with your hands. Let me find a link.

Hi, I'm back. That was fast huh? I know. It was like instant. I'm cool like that. Here's the link.

http://web.archive.org/web/20100104101522/http://secondtype.com/lactation.htm

Should give some good information.

i can only say yay hehe i love the fact i can feed my child thanks Sam!

[azSam]

Welcome! I love the idea of connecting with my child in such a way. Breast feeding may seem tedious to ciswomen, but they take it granted. Just like a lot (not all) of them take bearing children for granted.

[LifeInNeon]

Welcome! I love the idea of connecting with my child in such a way. Breast feeding may seem tedious to ciswomen, but they take it granted. Just like a lot (not all) of them take bearing children for granted.

Whenever I say I want to do this, or want to bear children, or I mention I willingly cycle my progesterone, I get the same dumbfounded, disbelieving face and a "Why would you WANT that? It sucks!" I want to reply "That's because you take it for granted." but I feel like that would be a bitchy thing to say, especially since it is harder for some women than others and you never know when you're talking to a woman who has serious problems with it.

[Raya]

I'm pretty interested in this myself. Though I'll never be able to bear my children, I would love to be able to nurture them. 

I actually went crazy friday night trying to figure out how I can stimulate breast milk production without hormones. And there are ways you can do it with your hands. Let me find a link.

Hi, I'm back. That was fast huh? I know. It was like instant. I'm cool like that. Here's the link.

http://web.archive.org/web/20100104101522/http://secondtype.com/lactation.htm

Should give some good information.

I really wish it were that easy. Though breast massage helps, it won't work all by itself. If you're going the mechanical route, you'll need an electric (preferably double) breast pump. It has to be electric; not even a manual pump will do. Decent ones seem to run about 250-400 USD. I understand you can rent them too, but I don't know which is the better option.

[tekla]

The hard part is going to be finding a women who after caring the child for 9 months, and then birthing it, with all the emotional and psychological changes that brings on, who will go along.

[azSam]

The hard part is going to be finding a women who after caring the child for 9 months, and then birthing it, with all the emotional and psychological changes that brings on, who will go along.

It's true. I've thought of that, and I can totally understand why it would be hard. It may seem cruel, but I would have a contract in place. Or I'd just adopt an infant. Though I know that'll be hard, it'd be far less complicated.

[tekla]

Contracts in that area are notoriously unenforceable, both nationally and internationally.  And though its not impossible a HWI as they are called (healthy white infant) from a non-using/drinking bMom, are at a premium.

[azSam]

Blah Tekla, you're killing me here  don't tell that!!!

I guess I'll just have to find someone whom I deeply and unconditionally trust to carry my child. It seems to be the best option I have.

[MarinaM]

Yeah, watch out. I knew a surrogate that drank heavily, she still charged 20k.

I have a kid, one kid, and that was more than enough. Sterility is a mixed blessing that I am physiologically very close to embracing.

Honestly, I feel a little bit guilty about having a daughter. I can't really pin down why. I love her, I take care of and guide her quite a bit, I can't imagine my life without her, but I don't really feel like I should have... Well, that's a train of thought I can't really catch.

[LifeInNeon]

I got extremely lucky in the surrogate department. I have firm, unsolicited (and lately repeated) offers from two women without whom I wouldn't be here, and I trust both of them completely. It may not work out when the time comes, but I would stake anything that they'd each do their best to make it happen. But the first part will be finding someone to share the joy with.

[KateConnors]

My child is 18 months old that I had naturally with my wife, though the next one will be from the sperm-popsicle route.  I banked just before starting hormones in March.  The cost wasn't as bad as I expected it to be; I think $1300 up front, and about $700 each year after (though I can't remember exactly).  This was a big deal for both my wife and myself, and knowing that we can hopefully more children is one of the keys to our enduring marriage.

[caitlin_adams]

I intend to bank sperm. As I'm primarily attracted to men I expect that I'll most likely be a single mum (because I don't expect to find a straight man to marry me despite my past and, even if I did, I don't expect he'd be comfortable with having his wife provide the sperm for his baby).

Now all I have to do is make lots of young healthy female friends so that I can find a surrogate. In Australia it is illegal to pay or advertise for a surrogate and the gestational carrier (the woman that carries the child) must not be genetically related to the child (and must already have her own child). Thus you need both an egg donor and a gestational carrier.

[LifeInNeon]

I intend to bank sperm. As I'm primarily attracted to men I expect that I'll most likely be a single mum (because I don't expect to find a straight man to marry me despite my past and, even if I did, I don't expect he'd be comfortable with having his wife provide the sperm for his baby).

Oh come on, now. There are lots of straight guys out there who couldn't care less about a trans* past. Sure there's more than what's fair who do, but if they're that swayed by the matter, doesn't that already tell you something about their judgment and tolerance?

As for which one of you gets to donate the sperm, if you're going to find a surrogate and have the kid with or without a partner, that kinda makes that decision easy, doesn't it?

[Just Kate]

There were sterility issues with me before I began HRT too, but I never went all the way to figure out if I was completely infertile.  I figured back then that I'd be marrying a man as a woman. Sperm would be useless I figured so I went ahead with the orchi.

Today my life has changed so much - that was a very poor decision on my part at the age of 19.  I thought I had it all figured out, but I couldn't have possibly known I'd find a way to live with my condition with transition.  Now, my inability to provide sperm for children is a great source of stress in my relationship - one possibly could have prevented.

My advice is, you never know how your thoughts will change down the road, save sperm if you can - I wish I had.

[caitlin_adams]

Oh come on, now. There are lots of straight guys out there who couldn't care less about a trans* past. Sure there's more than what's fair who do, but if they're that swayed by the matter, doesn't that already tell you something about their judgment and tolerance?

As for which one of you gets to donate the sperm, if you're going to find a surrogate and have the kid with or without a partner, that kinda makes that decision easy, doesn't it?

You're right, I'm sure there are am few out there, but I see friends of mine that are single, lovely people and they have had difficulty finding a partner and I guess I assume that the fact I was born with XY chromosomes will make it an order of magnitude harde (and the fact that I'll be starting to try and find a partner at 29). It's not impossible, but I don't expect to. If I do then it's a bonus and I'd be the happiest, most surprised woman alive.

You can't tell I'm a pessimist can you?