Quote from: Berserk on August 27, 2011, 08:50:31 AM
Not every trans person sees being trans the same way. Not everyone wants to go stealth (I think this is an incorrect assumption that's often made on online support forums), not everyone wants to hide the fact that they're trans. Not everyone sees being trans as something to be ashamed of, nor necessarily agrees with the binary of what being a woman/man/something-else-entirely means. I also don't think that gay transguys should be deciding whether to get pregnant or not based on how it makes other people feel. There are many transwomen who have had their own biological children, others who have frozen sperm so that they could have their own biological children post-transition. I don't think that's an afront to transguys who can't have their own biological children the way they'd like to (meaning, impregnating somebody else). Just the way I don't think it's an afront to me or other transguys when one transguy decides he wants to get pregnant after transitioning. It doesn't make him or others who choose that path "women" or "lesser men," nor should it mean anything as far as the rest of us who don't want to are concerned.
I also think making statements like "Look, I can transition and STILL be more woman than you'll ever be" are pretty gross...both towards transguys and transwomen. The ability to get pregnant isn't the determining factor of whether or not someone is or isn't a "real" woman or man. There are a lot of infertile women out there and their infertility says nothing about their womanhood.
Sorry if this comes off as harsh, but it really ->-bleeped-<-ing bugs me when we, as trans people, sit here and judge other trans people's decisions about their bodies...as if we don't get that enough from the cis world. I think we start becoming really cissexist ourselves when we do that.
I couldn't agree with the majority of this post more. I have personally given birth to a now 5 yr old son, and I would never take that back just because of my identity. Children are an important part of the world, and having one of your own genetic structure means a lot to most of humanity. I don't find my manhood is insulted by the fact that I gave life. In fact, I actually tend to think of it as a little superior... (not against anyone who may no be able to nor had the opportunity I swear! Infact, I had thought I was infertile for many years until I became pregnan, so I know how anyone who cannot have kids would feel...) My genes will not be able to be shared with the world once I do go through the changes I need... so having them out there beforehand is a way to ensure my legacy lives on. Ask any man, and that is a huge thing to many of them. Also, it would be beneficial to have a trans-aware parent, so if my son ever approaches me and states he thinks he should be a woman, I would know how he feels and help him better than non trans aware parents may be able to.
Also, importantly, I was at a suicidal stage of my life.. I started drinking heavily and acting recklessly.. then I found out I was pregnant, so, through the sadness and depression I had at the body I'd been assigned at birth, I had something good come from it to distract that depression. I stopped cutting, stopped planning the end of my life, and for that moment, stopped dwelling on my own issues long enough to bring a healthy, strong, happy baby into the world. Now that I have done that, I can feel closure as a female and work on pursuing who I really am.. (If I was born male, I'd be far less likely to have reproduced, because no matter how hard one may try, guys can't get guys pregnant!!) So in closing, having a baby is not an unmanly thing to do to me... and if someone needs closure before shutting down their baby factory, its perfectly okay in my opinion. Other's may disagree... But that is fine, we have this paper that says its okay called the Bill of Rights..
My son and I. I could never think that this combination was ever a mistake to make.
