GIRLS CLUB

[jillian]

Lately Ive been getting anxiety about not being accepted as a woman by women in social settings.

I dont know quite how to explain it, but I get the feeling Ill always be in an awkward middle where I either wont be accepted as part of either gender.

I know Im crazy, but this is real anxiety.

[BillieTex]

never give up, never surrender - believe in yourself strong enough and world will have to accept you. Sorry, easy to say, but hard to live    But either way be true to yourself.

[Marta]

The important thing is that you accept yourself. I am a natural born female and personally i have never been accepted by girls and women, it could be that ive been unfortunate enough to find really prissy and jealous women who live on drama and that does not float my boat. So you can say im not in the girls club either id even go as far as saying im one of the guys since i literally have no female friends (one recent one just beginning transition). If you dwell too much on trying to be accepted by other people you wont be happy if they dont accept you, the best thing you can do is accept yourself and carry yourself with confidence and trust me you will attract people to you men and women. You will be surrounded by people who care about you and like you for being you and the girls you can attract will see you as one of them- it hasnt even been one year since my aunt began transition and i never had a hard time seeing her as a woman just like me, i even talk to her about girl things that i would have never talked about when she was presenting as male. It's all up to you really you gotta put yourself out there and show that you are female and not hold back because of some doubts you have in your mind. 

[Nurse With Wound]

I imagine things like that will come in time, with making new friends and such you'll get into girl groups. It's not like friends would shun you out of social gatherings so all you need is a close group of female friends really.

[~RoadToTrista~]

I thought this was gonna be about male strippers.

[cindianna_jones]

Jillian,

I don't know what your situation is. It is so hard to know.... (Cindi tries to peek through her computer screen).... but you will find friends who will accept you. Give it some time and remember that you must be a friend first. Do things for people, help out your neighbors, do volunteer work. You will be surprised at how many people you can meet. Friends are friends and it should not matter whether they are male or female. I understand your anxieties. I think that we all go through them at one point or another. Quite frankly, I feel more comfortable around a bunch of men than with women. I didn't think that would be the case when I started on this journey... but that is how it all turned out. I usually get very bored amongst a group of women who start to gossip or talk about clothes and shopping.  I never "learned" that part of our social behavior. So, while my advice is free and worth every penny, I suggest that this is one concern that you can put on the shelf for a later time.

Cindi

[noeleena]

Hi,

As im 64  this may not apply & depends on the setting . im a masculine woman so in some ways i should not be accepted by women ,,well i am  both mixed & women only groups , Im an Edwardian girl . we dress in that time frame . allso the S C A a world wide Renaissance group we dress in 1400 to 1700, times ,
Other groups womens center's & im accepted by many 100' of people .

Acceptace comes by being open up front & accepting others who may be different from you. I'v allso talked to 100's of people as well & that cover's a very wide range of ages.

Now it wont happen over night so the detail is let others accept who you are let them get to know you & may be people wont understand does not matter .

Some points could be & im not sure what interest's you have , or hobby's tho i know you do have a group called  Womens Institutes or Federation,we have over 8.000members in N Z , its world wide. im allso  a member.

I cant answer why you seem not to be accepted . so tho it may be hard . i would find some one & ask.  is there a problem or what ever.

For my self i work with many people in all walks of life.

I was with the St Johns as a paramedic doing training . & there are 3 people who wont work with me now i know all the people here were we live in our groups , soc,

now i know the reason why. & i had a talk with our D C = O I C . & he was not sure how to talk with me because he was not sure how to work with me,   he's a lovely guy ,

so because im in front of people i explained to him, now latter on when he get's his head around what who i am i said to save any problem's ill stand down , no probs. we did have a good time talking.

What im getting at is you make the move & ask then when you.v explained your side you will find people will come on board with you.
As i said i have expiance & age on my side so its easyer , it's called how to get along side people & work with them .

My problem im a intersexed woman who's different & for people to understand us or accept who we are.
we need to be part of socity & to do that it takes time for some,

If you demand acceptance it wont happen ,

I have acceptance because i opened my self up to every one & invited them to share in my life .
I dont expect other's to do what i have done . because we are all different .

you may find nothing here of what iv said will help you . no prob's,

Do tell us some more & why you think your not accepted. it may help us to answer you'r ?

...noeleena...

[justmeinoz]

As the others here have pointed out it is a slow process making friends.  I just smile and say hello, and let it take it's course in a relaxed manner.  If people don't want to know me , that is their problem. 

Karen.

[Gravity Girl]

The first step to gaining acceptence by others is by accepting yourself. The second step is to get some really kick ass friends

If you worry about it, it'll be a problem. if you are just yourself you will be fine. promise.

[VeryGnawty]

"I would never join a club that would accept me as a member." - Groucho Marx

[grrl1nside]

I appreciate your anxiety because it is something that runs through my head frequently. I too want to be part of the women's circle of conversation. Right now, I am still presenting as male so I can take part but it is very interesting what parts of the conversation I get included in compared with others.

That aside, I often remind myself that fitting in with the girls may not be about joining the Girls Club and more about getting involved in activities or groups of people in general with similar interests and have something to join in the conversation about. I want to join the women's club that I have something in common with. If they are chatting about Entertainment Tonight, brand name clothes, etc then count me out. If they are talking about books, crafts, hiking, family, the environment, etc. then I do. I'll be happy just fitting in and being accepted there, but I'll work at finding groups that participate in those activities to make those connections.