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females

Started by Marta, August 25, 2011, 05:06:06 PM

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Marta

For a long time ive had a big disgust with most females i know and the female sex in general. Sometimes i see TG's mostly on tv or something that transition and become slutty stereotypical women. In high school it was just incredible how many slutty girls there was there, even when i was a senior i saw girls that were freshmen or sophmores that were already pregnant and single. Some people think that as a female i should be more understanding of girls- which means that i should think that being a stripper or a porn star is "empowering" or that being a slut that hops from bed to bed is ok "because men do it". PLEEEEASEE! i dont see any of that junk as anything but counter productive to women, im not a feminist whatsoever im happy with the rights that i have as a female at least here in the US, i cant say the same for girls everywhere though. It just sickens me how women have become at least in this western culture, its socially acceptable to be slut. It's even encouraged to be one i mean ive even seen freakin shoe commercials that have to have a half naked chick wearing them. Its just so pathetic. And i know not all women are like this but a good percentage are. I am 20 years old and hate going to parties or places like that because there's always girls that are so starved for attention that they wear little tiny skirts and low tops, i mean they might as well show up naked. And im not jealous or a "hater" like other people think im just utterly disgusted at how females have become. I cannot fathom in my mind what makes women act this way accept that they are so starved for attention that they will do anything. At least in western culture it seems like the only purpose some women have is to compete with each other for looks, money, men. Again its pathetic.  I have a 14 year old sister and i am so glad that i have guided her for the past couple of years about this very thing. She is only 14 yes but kids get younger and younger every time and they get pregnant, have sex, drink, etc. She is a very smart and she is a good kid, not slutty, not attention seeking. So many of her class mates are only 14-15 years old ans they post pictures of themselves on sites like facebook wearing only their underwear, i even know one of those little girls and i always wonder "do her parents know". I consider myself the opposite of these girls, i do not crave male attention- i get attention from a lot of people because i am a musician, i am a painter and drawer and i am very good at what i do. I have good qualities so i dont need to go around looking like some floozy so i can get a guy to notice me and that's the problem girls value themselves so much on their looks because they think they are just the hottest thing around but whats gonna happen when their looks fade and they have nothing to offer?  This is one of the strongest points i like to make to my sister. Just last saturday i decided to attend a party with my boyfriend and we where there a few hours and some slutty little 18 and 19 year old girls showed up and after like a hour or 2 the one that was staring at my bf all night decided it would be nice to sit on his lap and play with his hair. She thought the talk about his long hair would distract the fact that she was on his lap when i was sitting right next to them. I am not a violent person or anything i just simply proceeded to grab her by the arm and pull her off and she had the nerve to get mad at me. I didnt feel jealous or anything just disrespected. I went on to tell her that she might think that being a slut is universally accepted but not by me or my bf. Its almost funny how they clearly look and act like sluts yet they get mad when you point it out or call them one. Anyway i wonder what you girls think about this, did that ever change your opinion on being female? did it ever make you not want to be one? like i said i know that not all girls are like this but its becoming much more common and accepted that it seems to be catching on like some trend  :(
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~RoadToTrista~

If you ever go to Thailand, you'll see how the media portrays transsexuals there. My family's impression is that they're all slutty, weak, and live depressed lives. It doesn't make me want to transition less, but it does make me want to prove them wrong. -.-

Same with girls at my school, I know I don't have to act like them.
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Sam(my)I am

Every single person is different as a guy I was the common sense person, the person that didn't want to take a risk unless it was for something that truly mattered like my friends, I committed to my relationships, I don't take any illegal drugs, I study a lot, I play music ect. ect. NONE of this changes when I finally become the girl I was meant to and want to be! I am me no matter what, and you are you no matter what.
I will say though that I don't like how in a lot of today's societies how women are looked at and what even women themselves show, it doesn't sit well with me and I just think that as a women I will be able to change some of this, and if not for women by birth at least for women by choice.
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Izumi

The blame for this kind of behavior is not based only on the child but much more so on their parents and upbringing.  Although you can f ind slutty girl syndrome everywhere as everyone is different there are some factors that encourage this behavior and they are as follows:

1) family, little or no parental supervision and proper parenting lead children (then later adults) to follow peers or the mainstream for their behavioral guidelines,  If you think back to the 1800s america was obviously different, women's rights aside, you found very few slutty women (unless in a brothel) but a lot more refined ones that knew modesty since they learned what it meant to be a woman from birth.  If you have no one to instill moral values you will follow what is around you.

2) society, the media portrays women in a lot of movies, music, and commercials in negative ways, if society enforces those sterotypes its even worse (like in the US).  For example referring to them as bitches, hoes, etc... Look at the shows just showing women drunk and exposing themselves, or trying to get men with money alone! while men are referred to as... players.  Very rarely do movies portray a woman with shining examples of morals or modesty in young adult cultures so they are brought up to think thats how the world is.

3) comparing each other is what women do, we naturally look at other women a lot of times and wish we had some feature or another and many times dress to impress or out do and appear better then others.  Whether its nature or nurture i am not sure but many species of animal follow the same behavior to seem more appealing for future family building.  So its kind of normal for women to size each other up and try to outdo each other, the same is true for men in another sense, however... sitting on your boyfriend's lap is going to far.

Anyway i know what you mean, but not all women are like this, what you dont see is that a lot of women who dont act that way are actually not at the party you were at, and maybe sharing a romantic moment with their SO's, taking time with friends, etc...  If you walk down the street you would probably see very few of the women you speak of until maybe night time so you have to think of the venue as well.
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pretty

Well.... I think there are all kinds of people.

And there are lots of slutty, vapid girls just like there are lots of cocky, sleazy guys. I don't think it's only a female thing. I wouldn't want to have that personality as either gender.
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Forever21Chic



     Honestly i hate being around most women lol. More then half the women i've met as a male and now as a female have come across to me as being very petty and vain. I've also noticed alot of females are two-faced, meaning they will smile and act like your friend infront of you yet when you're not in the room they can't stop talking about you! Yeah i can't stand the slutty way woman are portrayed now. The media images of what women "should" be is just ridiculous and is doing more harm then good especially for those young girls watching.



     I just want to be me, if i can do that then i really don't care what society thinks a woman should and shouldn't be.  :)   



    P.S: Marta your post needs editing!  :laugh:
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JungianZoe

Quote from: pretty on August 25, 2011, 06:25:15 PM
Well.... I think there are all kinds of people.

And there are lots of slutty, vapid girls just like there are lots of cocky, sleazy guys. I don't think it's only a female thing. I wouldn't want to have that personality as either gender.

I like that explanation.  I like it lots!  In fact, it sums up my feelings better than I think I could have.  Well, more succinctly than I could have for a start. :laugh:

That said, I do have infinitely more female friends than male.  My ratio stands at 3 guys, 8 girls.  I prefer hanging out with girls!  At least I can communicate with them.  Though I looked like a boy for many years, I never picked up Boyspeak as a second language.  Swahili was easier.
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Pinkfluff

Yeah I agree with alot of what you say, that there are alot of slutty women out there. Really though there are just as many slutty guys, even though that's not a term typically applied to men. I think many women are just starting to think well if men can do it then so can women. Forget the fact that it's disgusting for anyone, regardless of gender, to flaunt themselves so shamelessly like that. If I had an SO and someone did what that girl did I would pull her off too, and she'd be lucky to get away with only that. As far as wanting to be female, what I may or may not want is irrelevant. I am what I am, though I am not like most women out there (thankfully lol).

This problem is not exclusive to women by any stretch though. Despite what some people may say, our society pretty much values only greed and the most superficial, even artificial, kind of beauty. It seems like if it is not sex, money or power then no one is interested, and when you have children who see their parents and most other adults exhibit this kind of behavior of course they learn it too. Rather than teaching kinds to value who they are, they are taught to value what (including who) they can acquire, by whatever means they can. Almost no one has any sense of honor or dignity anymore.
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versuchsanordnung

#8
I think you are absolutely right about that. We live in a culture based on greed, and it seems that anything that cannot be easily sold or eaten or f****d has no value of its own anymore. Its tragic that many people measure their own worth in terms of being a desirable, easy to market product that attracts as many potential customers as possible, be it sexually or in almost every other aspect of life.....
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apple pie

Hmmm okay... I for one know plenty of girls who would never do anything like that—in fact, none of my girl friends would do anything like that :) so please don't group all girls as something like that. It is simply not true. The thing is these other girls are probably just sitting at home watching TV and you don't see them. I know that's what my girl friends tend to do! It doesn't mean there are very few of them; it just means if you go down to a bar you aren't going to see any (duh). And our idea of a "party" is something completely different. We wouldn't even have any alcohol or dress sexily. We just go to a biiiig park and bring lots of food and drinks and play some games there or fly some kites with the radio on.

Besides, it has a lot to do with how they were brought up. If they were brought up being influenced by that kind of ideals, then I can understand that's how they think a girl should be like.
Even I find myself influenced by media when I sometimes reflect on my own thoughts... so who am I to judge :)
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cindianna_jones

Marta, you are a sensible woman. I have a close acquaintence who is extremely attractive, smart, and.... she keeps falling for jerks. She could have any man in town and she keeps going after the motorcycle jock. This last guy she hooked up with was just arrested for assaulting a minor.  Sheesh.  I think that there are two factors at work here. First, we are programmed by society, the media, our families, and every other influence to behave in certain ways. "Oooooh if you don't buy this cosmetic, you'll be ugly. And no one wants to be ugly." Second, there is an instinct of self preservation. "The big strong guy will protect me. He'll parade me around and I'll be so admired." Others have said it better than I have.

Personally, I really have a difficult time in female company when the discussion is focused so much on clothes, shopping, decorating the house.... you know what I mean. I like to talk about the kids, how they are doing in school, what hobbies they have, etc. So, I can't lay it all on one gender or the other. It's just that I find some things interesting and fascinating. Others.... ho hum.

Cindi
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Elsa.G

Quote from: apple pie on August 26, 2011, 03:24:47 AM
Hmmm okay... I for one know plenty of girls who would never do anything like that—in fact, none of my girl friends would do anything like that :) so please don't group all girls as something like that. It is simply not true. The thing is these other girls are probably just sitting at home watching TV and you don't see them. I know that's what my girl friends tend to do! It doesn't mean there are very few of them; it just means if you go down to a bar you aren't going to see any (duh). And our idea of a "party" is something completely different. We wouldn't even have any alcohol or dress sexily. We just go to a biiiig park and bring lots of food and drinks and play some games there or fly some kites with the radio on.

Besides, it has a lot to do with how they were brought up. If they were brought up being influenced by that kind of ideals, then I can understand that's how they think a girl should be like.
Even I find myself influenced by media when I sometimes reflect on my own thoughts... so who am I to judge :)

Marta clearly stated that "not all girls are that way" more than once.
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apple pie

Quote from: elsaG on August 26, 2011, 03:55:31 AM
Marta clearly stated that "not all girls are that way" more than once.

Indeed you are correct about Marta having stated that. You'll have to forgive me though as it was quite hard to read (so it definitely wasn't clear to me) :) and I admit that I felt just a bit agitated by how it sounded similar to when men attack the characteristics of other men and thus express how much they don't like men.

So, sorry about that :) but I don't think even most women are like that. The girls I know well in real life definitely aren't.
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justmeinoz

Not a lot has changed since I was in High School then.  Just a bit more open about it.
I think the double standard was more prevalent then as well.
Karen.
"Don't ask me, it was on fire when I lay down on it"
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Lisbeth

Quote from: apple pie on August 26, 2011, 05:48:01 AM
So, sorry about that :) but I don't think even most women are like that. The girls I know well in real life definitely aren't.
I agree.

What I have a hard time dealing with is, IF a trans-person feels that way about women, and still wants to be one, what is going on inside her head? My former partner was that way, and I just couldn't get my head around it. It felt like there was a man's attitudes inside her. What was worse, I felt as though she didn't want me to be a woman because she didn't want me to be "like that." Well, I'm not "like that," whatever that means, but it felt like I wasn't allowed to be myself.
"Anyone who attempts to play the 'real transsexual' card should be summarily dismissed, as they are merely engaging in name calling rather than serious debate."
--Julia Serano

http://juliaserano.blogspot.com/2011/09/transsexual-versus-transgender.html
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Karla

Quote from: Marta on August 25, 2011, 05:06:06 PM
Anyway i wonder what you girls think about this, did that ever change your opinion on being female? did it ever make you not want to be one?
Someone's body is a dignified special part of oneself, at least when you're not actively hating it because of whatever, and to see the way this culture turns women's bodies into a consumable product just makes me feel so dirty and sick to my stomach and I question if this is really how I'm supposed to be and what standard I'm going to be held to. If I'm physically attractive I see no problem in allowing myself to feel confident about it around others but I won't allow myself to act like a slut and be objectified. If that attracts bad attention to me (ironic?) so be it. Being female on the other hand is who I am and it's something I can't control or change no matter how good or bad it seems or how much I do/not want it.
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tekla

I went on to tell her that she might think that being a slut is universally accepted...

Not to draw too fine a point on it, but at that moment it was being accepted by your BF, he deserved the lecture, not her.
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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ravij

Quote from: Lisbeth on August 26, 2011, 11:00:37 AM
I agree.

What I have a hard time dealing with is, IF a trans-person feels that way about women, and still wants to be one, what is going on inside her head? My former partner was that way, and I just couldn't get my head around it. It felt like there was a man's attitudes inside her. What was worse, I felt as though she didn't want me to be a woman because she didn't want me to be "like that." Well, I'm not "like that," whatever that means, but it felt like I wasn't allowed to be myself.

I've seen a lot of cis women who feel the same way. It's not a man's attitude.
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madirocks

I will have to agree that it does depend on the person's upbringing. Also, I will add that it depends on where you're living. I find some cultures to be less so. No matter how other girls act, it will never change my perspective on me being female.

And Marta, pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaase split up your posts into paragraphs. They're super difficult to read! Especially for someone who has mild dyslexia. :(
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flux_capacitor

You should move to the Bible Belt.  Lots of slut-shaming and sex-negativity here.
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