change in preference due to hormones

[n00bsWithBoobs]

I think it is a combination of becoming comfortable with your identity and untangling the unconscious confusion of sexuality with gender, and HRT affecting the brain. 

Hormones are powerful but all the anecdoial evidence on here seems to indicate it definitely is one of those YMMV things. 

I had a lot of trouble working out what my true orientation was prior to starting to transition, but am now comfortable with the fact that I am totally uninterested in men, and although I did enjoy the experiences I did have, cannot visualise doing such again.  The idea just will not form in my brain, unlike when I was first questioning my sexuality. I was able to imagine sex with a man or a woman then, but not now.

Karen.

If this was your experience, I believe you. I'm not questioning it.

For me, there wasn't any questioning of sexuality. I was into women, now I am into men. Simple as that.

To Original Poster:
The potential for changing sexual orientation varies in the way everything else with hormones does. Boobs grow different, hair, muscle definition, emotions, everything. I think it's good to know that the potential is there, but it'd be hard to gauge whether or not it would affect you in the same way.

[gantz]

so ... its like getting a person drunk? in the sense that different people will do different things? like some get horny, confrontational, emo, sing, silent, just pass out immediately etc?

i wonder if, its the current state of our bodies and heads by the time that we do take the hormones that does determine the effect. from what your saying here and there it sounds like it. sounds pretty hard to predetermine the potential changes then... i guess for us youll never really know until you take it?

well, i guess like audrey, for me it did just change, and only, after i started on the theraphy.

sorry i just woke up, my heads a complete buzz right now.

[Susan Howard]

I could never imagine!  I was married to a pretty girl and never thought twice about guys, but I knew I had to begin HRT.  About 3 months later my wife left me and I began to have this urge to have a man in my mouth.  I'm still not happy with my progress, but I can say that girls do nothing for me now.  I can't explain why, but now all I need is a good man!   

[JungianZoe]

I can't say my preference changed, but the mental freedom that came from resolving my gender issues gave me the ability to open up to what I'd repressed my entire life: that I liked guys.  I dated girls for their company, but hated (!!!) the idea of sleeping with them or having sex.  I fooled myself into thinking I was merely "sensitive" and "civilized" but the truth was that I didn't like girls sexually.

I'm so relieved not to have to keep up that charade anymore!

[Sadie]

I have changed, I guess or maybe just let myself be who I really am. I have never been with a man before, but now after a couple months on hormones I barely look at women but I find myself extremely attracted to men, good looking men that is. Fat, old, and balding doesn't do anything for me but but I think that is true for most genetic women too. 

Sex with women for me was mostly an unpleasant experience that I never really enjoyed and pretty much avoided it, which can be hazardous to the health of your marriage as was my case.

[Cassie]

Yeah i used to like women and now I like men.

I'm afraid I don't buy all this stuff about seeing yourself differently and being restrained by social norms. I spent a good chunk of my life as a male trying to be gay but I just couldn't get into guys at all. There were no constraints - my parents encouraged me to try men; I had an uncle and aunt in same-sex relationships... it was normal from my childhood. I just wasn't interested in men until I started oestrogen and now i'm turned off by the thought of being with a woman.

Essentially it's what happens to YOU that matters. If you have an existing partner it might cause problems but if not you're free to be what you want to be at any given time. Enjoy.

[Ann Onymous]

Yeah i used to like women and now I like men.

I'm afraid I don't buy all this stuff about seeing yourself differently and being restrained by social norms. I spent a good chunk of my life as a male trying to be gay but I just couldn't get into guys at all. There were no constraints - my parents encouraged me to try men; I had an uncle and aunt in same-sex relationships... it was normal from my childhood. I just wasn't interested in men until I started oestrogen and now i'm turned off by the thought of being with a woman.

Essentially it's what happens to YOU that matters. If you have an existing partner it might cause problems but if not you're free to be what you want to be at any given time. Enjoy.

The bolded part is what brings it all back to inate wiring from birth...rare is the instance where you find someone who just wakes up one morning and DECIDED to be gay or lesbian.  If one is not wired for a gay relationship, it won't happen...and that would make the bolded portion make perfect sense- as a guy, you had no interest in being with other guys.  Similarly, as a woman, you have no apparent interest in dating women.

That is not dissimilar from what I have described in other posts- it was not women in general that I was interested in from my earliest years of romantic interest but rather the lesbian of the species.  Had no interest whatsoever in dating guys of either hetero or homosexual orientation.  And nothing about HRT has changed any of that...

[justmeinoz]

I had an interesting experience at the weekend that has definitely confirmed that I am now 100% Dyke!

I was at a party and late in the evening when we had all had a few, or several, two bi women were having sex on a sofa, and I found it a real turn on.  If one of them had been a guy though,  I know I would have had to leave, or more probably thrown up.  That definitely would not have been the case pre-HRT.

Karen. 

[AbraCadabra]

Well on that score call my gay, I liked girls since EVER I can recall.
My first '.... dive' having been at ~ age 4 ! Hello :-)
Yes, and naughty me I did like it too.

But now wait a minute... wasn't it: Girls for friends, guys for sex?

Always provided there is 'availability' um,
Axelle

[justmeinoz]

My first "school girl crush on a straight girl" actually happened this year, just before I went full-time, so I got to enjoy it as a sexually aware adult.
I knew it would go nowhere,  that if I acted on it I would ruin a great friendship, and it was short lived.  It was an enjoyable experience though, and I guess she will always have a special place in my heart.  If she ever does decide to bat for our team I'll be giving her a call.
I don't dislike men either Axelle, but just can't relate to them as anything other than a friend now.
Karen

[AbraCadabra]

Karen,
when I say: "Girls for friends, guys for sex" There is a catch... guys are scary, as scary as they are for a younger woman - I think.

Maybe that, if handled well makes for great sex?
Say Mr. Big in "Sex and the City"? Yummy!!!

We all want to be ravished (somehow) but, you got to get practice, even in being ravished.

Now guys for friends? ? ? Booooring............ unless we want to talk General Motors, fishing, sex (the male version), and why your boat motor doesn't start ------- oh, really?
Nah, not really.

Time out for that stuff, uhm :-) YMMV
Axelle
PS: Girly sex is save, save, save, .... until you get your heart broken, of course

[Ann Onymous]

Well on that score call my gay, I liked girls since EVER I can recall.

It was not just a liking of girls in general...it was the affinity for the lesbian of the species.  I could be friends with straight girls (hey, it was Houston...we had a LOT of exposure to the whole gay/lesbian thing long before much of the country got mainstream) but they never stirred anything for me from an emotional standpoint.

[AbraCadabra]

Hm,

'straight' girls do start girl-on-girl relationships, that may become intimate.
Then you ask them --- they still think they straight, well sort of :-)

I'm not hung on what some may term a "diesel-dyke", THAT... just too far out.
More into lipstick lesbians. YMMV

Trouble with these --- if of child bearing age, they often then STILL want a baby, and run off with some dude. Now THAT can hurt badly for sure.

Life, what else to say...
Axelle

[AbraCadabra]

Honey,
I'm not doing a WHAT IF here. I have seen it more then once.
Very butch lesbian will find it a lot more difficult, due to the lower male attraction factor.
All quite normal, um.
Also affectional attractions may change over time, whether you do like the idea or not.

No idea what is offensive in that --- since married guys with or with out kids also may find a gay male partner is the better match after some time.

No need to get offended, it's life, that's all.

Axelle

[Ann Onymous]

Hm,

'straight' girls do start girl-on-girl relationships, that may become intimate.
Then you ask them --- they still think they straight, well sort of :-)

not in high school, at least not in my era...this was back before Newsweek and the other rags made the cover story about "bi" being one of the new cool things.  You were either lesbian or not...there was no middle ground. 

More into lipstick lesbians. YMMV

Trouble with these --- if of child bearing age, they often then STILL want a baby, and run off with some dude. Now THAT can hurt badly for sure.

As Sarah so rightly chastised you, the above IS offensive.  I know plenty of lesbian women who elected to have kids by way of IVF (in fact, I have a gold-star friend who has two kids that way that her insurance paid for the IVF procedures for her partner).  And an even greater number who have no maternal instinct.  Of those that do have a maternal instinct, it DOES NOT mean they are going to run off to shack up with some man.  Have there been lesbians who left a relationship for someone of the other sex?  Sure, but it is far from a regular occurrence...and given that the lesbian community has been MY community for 30 years, I would say that I have some significant measure of insight into how things tend to work.   

And your follow-up response to Sarah was equally appalling.  It clearly demonstrates that you have no real clue about the lesbian community other than to try and apply the few stereotypes that you might have heard somewhere.   

[Keroppi]

We all want to be ravished (somehow) but, you got to get practice, even in being ravished.

[gantz]

well adding things, i guess its not just preference too unless im being stupid to think this but... the feelings out of things seem to have changed as well. kissing a guy back then, the thought was like vomit inducing now i actually find it more pleasurable than kissing a girl, or more like it - better than any i have ever had - and it cant be just because its new, hey i had my first time with girls too obviously right. now it feels icky to kiss a girl somehow. maybe its possible the things im taking are causing some rewiring my head if thats the case, and maybe for me im just less resistant to it while others are more resistant.

i somehow find it hard to think that the change is also just coz im playing for the other team now. coz before taking these hormones i was already doing that real life deal. it cant be coz of how people interact with me, coz that also has not changed - and i dont look any better too.

i only know of two lesbians in my life. one has lived like so ever since i can remember and i just heard one day she left her lesbian lover and ran off with a guy or something, shes the lipstick type if thats what you call them. the other, shes the other type i dont kow what theyre called, and sometimes i do wonder if shes like this coz she really likes women or that she just feels no guy would want her. i dont know how i got that impression on her. well, im pretty sure on that one it was notttt due to hormones though since neither have taken any. well, thats as far as waht i know i guess... dont think i can make any manner of conclusion there since theres just 2 for me.

[AbraCadabra]

Just a small added reference to the ALL knowing around here...

I was married to a BI, come lesbian with plenty of lesbian friends, that being some 28 years back! And ALSO long before being BI was being 'fashionable' as you call it.

So you just go call me an ignorant  sexist, and * ... have no real clue about the lesbian community other than to try and apply the few stereotypes that you might have heard somewhere.   *

I f**ing well LIVED it!

You sure give me some practice in getting flamed - thank you!

Shame on you!

Axelle
PS: * Generalizing to millions of people is going to lead to errors in judgment. *
Now isn't that just what your are doing also, right now? Unless you know the other 1 million you referred to? All of us can ONLY come from what we happen to have experienced, - and THAT ALSO applies to someone like you. Believe it or NOT!

[JungianZoe]

Truce, everybody?  Let's all just take a deep breath, visualize a happy moment, and get back to the topic at hand.   Pretty please?

[BunnyBee]

I can't say my preference changed, but the mental freedom that came from resolving my gender issues gave me the ability to open up to what I'd repressed my entire life: that I liked guys.  I dated girls for their company, but hated (!!!) the idea of sleeping with them or having sex.  I fooled myself into thinking I was merely "sensitive" and "civilized" but the truth was that I didn't like girls sexually.

I'm so relieved not to have to keep up that charade anymore!

This is exactly me.  The only difference is that going through that made it so I don't really trust what my brain says about my sexuality.  Like I totally convinced myself that I liked girls, but kissing? Blech! Sex? Quadruple blech!  Ewww!  Naked girls?  Yawn..  Shopping?  Talking?  Being best friends?  Oh yes, I love her.  If my brain was able to do that, I just can't trust it when it tells me I like guys now.  That fluttery stomach feeling they give me, I don't trust that either lol.  I'm waiting to see how that first kiss from a man makes me feel before I say anything about my sexuality. 

Slight digression, not feeling social pressure to date girls has been one of the huge side-benefits of coming out/starting transition.