QuoteFriday night Sandy and I went out to a TG friendly bar. I hadn't been there in quite a while and hoped to meet up with some old friends. Sandy met a guy there who was enamoured with her and she spent a lot of time with him. He later came up to me and asked if I was okay with me talking to her. I said as long as she doesn't object I certainly don't.
The next day Sandy tells me the guy said to her he knew I was a woman. "I kind of peeked down her blouse and checked her butt out. She's a woman." Well I was totally flattered! I must have asked her half a dozen times, "Now, what did he say again?"
Actually, just by this statment, any of us would have already been read from the very begining. If we are going to TG, or TS freindly places, then that means the people there are used to seeing TS's or what not. Also just the fact that a guy might "confirm" with our friends, or his freinds that we were "a woman" is further eveidence that he was already turned on towards suspicion to any woman that he meets that night, so he knew that TS's would probbly be there that night. Just becuase we might win a "suspicion" game, doesn't mean that we should assume that we won a "stealth" game, which is another reason why I don't like that term stealth, it infers hiding or something. Passing as a woman is totally different than Being a woman, and Living as a female, as opposed to living as a Passable transsexual. Which there is nothing wrong that if thats the path a person chooses and the way someone wants to live.
But if we are wanting to be females, live women's lives, and "pass" as who we are, than "TG" freindly places is not the places that we need to look for validation. These are just places that we may occasionaly win the suspicion games, but we are not passing the "life" game in places like this. Natal woman don't have to pass confirmation assements in their daily lives, to be validated as females, so neaither should we.
I can go out to eat with my parents, or go shopping in WalMart with my mom, or go to a teenage laden malt shop at night, or go on a date with my boyfriend anytime, or go to work, and never be taken for anything other than the girl I am. However, I can go to the Bann Sirri in BKK, or I can go to the local TS freindly Club, or to my electrolgist and be Read imeadiatly, or at the very least be suspected. All beit I will pass the "suspicion" game, and it will prolly be agreed upon that I am "stealth" or at the least a very passable and pretty TS girl, but I won't be read as just an everday no need to explain female, and in my mind this is not validation of anything, no matter how good or bad I look.
Also I would just like to point out that I am not saying anything about having to be "beautiful". or "pretty" to pass. Its just about being female, and living as a girl, or a woman, and this has nothing to do with being pretty. I would anyday rather be an ugly girl that never gets noticed, than to be a gorgeous transsexual that lives "stealth" and passes the suspicion test for validation.
we can all get read or suspected no matter of our physical presence. This depends on our lifestyle, the type of life we live, the vibe we send out, the places we go, the people we hang out with, and the way we feel about ourselves. A lot of the times, we get ourselves read. A lot of the times we are our own worst enemy's, we confirm suspicon by the life we lead, or by the feelings we have of ourselves, or from the places that we seek validation.
Our validation and confirmation is best when it comes from annoymus third party prespective, from average jane doe in the world worrying about her own life. This is where we need to put ourselves, and just disappear into the woodwork, forgeting how to even read ourselves, validating ourselves in the process, in our own lives.
-pass-
