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From male to androgynous

Started by missjanealice, August 30, 2011, 02:36:43 PM

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missjanealice

I was sitting in the waiting room for my electrolysis appointment when I see the door open and out comes a little girl. She runs right over to me and says "hi" so I respond politely with "Hi, what's your name?". Her name was Hayliegh and she was 3 years old, it's not long into our chat when her mom starts calling for her and little Hayliegh runs off. I hear Hayliegh tell her mother that she is "talking to a girl", a grin hits me instantly. Later that day I am at a book store with some friends, I have just purchased my books and one of my friends is at the register. The cashier calls over his co-worker and asks him if I am a girl or a boy. My friend gets very offended and tells them where to go and how to get there, but I just smile.

I have started to make people think instead of the assumptions I am male. It is a good feeling when you start to pass even if it's not 100% as a woman but as androgynous. How have other people experienced this "wall"?


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MarinaM

The wall is good and bad. It's a marker of progress, but confused jerks can really get to you. I avoid flirting for now, until I get some stuff taken care of to solidify my image.
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JungianZoe

I'm with Emma... it really is a good marker of progress!  But I think the other thing it does is that it prepares you for going full time.  Your ears become used to hearing cross-gender language that you might never have heard before.  And if you spin it positively, then it can really help build confidence!  I went from looking totally boy to an androgynous appearance as I was preparing to start transition and eventual full time.  Here are two pictures taken a year and two months apart:



(I'm on the left in that first picture and I wasn't on hormones in either one)

Between that time, I listened to comments about how different I looked, and when the comments tended toward me being read as female, I gauged my reaction.  Did I enjoy the comment?  Did it make me feel good?  Would I like to be seen as female 100% of the time?  When it was clear that the answers were always a resounding yes, I actively pursued HRT in anticipation of starting full time and taking every step necessary for physical transition.  I knew I ready, I knew my decision was the right one, and I knew I'd never miss the male life (whatever "male life" means...).
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eli77

Quote from: missjanealice on August 30, 2011, 02:36:43 PM
I have started to make people think instead of the assumptions I am male. It is a good feeling when you start to pass even if it's not 100% as a woman but as androgynous. How have other people experienced this "wall"?

Actually I kind of hated it, but then it was like that for most of my life, so a little different I guess. I frequently ended up in the situation of having to correct people who saw me as female, and tell them I was a guy. Which, well, sucked.

I was happy when the boy gendering dropped steadily on HRT and eventually vanished, prompting me to go full time.
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azSam

Are you androgynous in boy clothes? I bet you'll be overwhelmingly female with makeup and girl's clothes.
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missjanealice

Quote from: Samantharz on August 30, 2011, 04:25:05 PM
Are you androgynous in boy clothes? I bet you'll be overwhelmingly female with makeup and girl's clothes.

I'm full time, I don't even own boy clothes anymore :D but this was without make-up, jeans and a black cami.


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jillian

Well, I am not a gender nazi, but I would love to have both scenarios happen. 
You go girl.

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Rabbit

If I can hit the andro stage in boy clothes I would be happy with just that :) I don't think I will ever "pass", but if I can get to a point other than a "guy" that would be more than I had hoped for! Someone thought I was a female in a picture (taken from a good angle with the right light)... but face to face (or my other pictures) I am still firmly in the boy world :P
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Forever21Chic



   Yeah i got that alot, people giving you that "is that a girl or a boy?" look. My male clothing was extremely male-ish too and i still had people perceive me as a girl lol. I got sick of the weird looks so i decided to go full-time and it's been so much easier to go out in public now, a lil ahead of when i wanted to go full-time but oh well.  :laugh: 
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KateConnors

I'm at the stage now (5 months on hrt) where I can pass as a man or woman depending on the situation.  I've been clocked as female in the men's restroom, and directly to the woman's restroom when I've asked where the restroom is despite apparently presenting as male.

It's funny though, that those around you that you see every day don't notice anything is amiss since they don't perceive any changes, compared to someone who meets you for the first time.
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