So here's the long version of what has happened.
A few years ago I ended up having a mini break down about my GID. My S.O. was on my case to talk about what was causing me so much frustration and honestly it was hurting way too much to keep it in anymore. I told her everything I could think of about what I was feeling and going through. To keep this a bit short, we've all read the basics of what happens during a coming out story so I'll cut to the chase.
She told me I couldn't cross dress and that she doesn't want a sexual relationship with a female. Essentially, she told me tough luck, learn to cope or you lose me in your life.
The first few months after I had told her everything we had a few other chats about it. She ended up telling her mother and a few friends about it in order to get a point of view from someone else and from what she's been willing to tell me about those conversations it was mostly positive and most of her friends (being females) had said that any time I felt like I needed to talk to someone about it all I had to do was call them.
But she stopped talking to me about it. Her attitude about the relationship never changed though so I just figured she needed time to digest and such. When I would make little comments or mention an article I had read about transgender issues she would just grunt (in a manly sort of way as if she was saying 'yes dear I acknowledge that you've just said something and I will attend to whatever it is you want me to do later') and change the subject or go back to what she was doing.
From time to time though, if I was having a particularly down moment she would offer to have a girl day with me where she would sit and talk with me and we'd do each other's nails and stuff. Those didn't happen often, and hasn't happened again since when we ended up talking about breasts and if I was going to want to start wearing fake breasts. I ended up telling her the first time I had put on a bra (which was many years before I had met her) and to her surprise I told her that I would wear a bra that she had thrown away outside of the house often during the winter time when I could wear enough layers to hide appearance of the bra straps. I told her I didn't have any bras anymore though and she said I could have two of her bras that she hadn't worn in a while (though I had once or twice since she purchased them) and she wanted to see if they would even fit. She made me put one on, stuffed the cups with towels and then abruptly said "there, now you look like you have breasts" and that was the end of the conversation.
That conversation was two years ago and she hasn't talked with me about it since then.
For the last few months I had a few things on my mind that was concerning me out my GID and our relationship. At first, after I told her about having GID I had attempted to tell myself that I would cope with the way I was in order to keep the relationship going. At the time she was starting her core classes at the University. I know this will sound horrible but I honestly don't think she would have been able to finish school (and she's still not completely finished) if I hadn't been there to help with doing all of the house work, running her things she might have left at home, reminding her that she had a class on any given day and needed to get a move on it if she wanted to be there on time, packing her lunch when she needed one, cooking her dinner at night when she was home to eat and such. These were things I had agreed upon (before I told her about my GID) when she told me she wanted to go back to school and asked if I could help her.
It had been getting to the point of hurting again, not being able to talk to her about this and all of a sudden Friday morning (we both had the day off) she said she had a conversation with her mom and wanted to talk to me about my gender issue. And that's where I start with my first post on this.
Anywho, not only does she want me to be as comfortable with myself as possible but she did say that if a transition is still something I'm thinking about doing in the future then she was going to have to start feeling comfortable with this now. She told me that I'm going to have to stop taking off my breasts, because some day, they might not be able to come off.
Only dark note to what she's told me is, that if I transition, she still doesn't know how she's going to feel about being in a relationship with a female. But no matter what I choose to do she wants me in her life, either as a friend or partner.
I hope that she and I can stay together for the rest of our lives even if I do transition.
OOOH just a quick side note:
When I had my first conversation with her about my GID, one of the last things she told me was "Just don't crossdress, I don't think I can handle that". The fact that she's told me I could keep my clothes in the closet now just seems like an EPIC WIN for me. I was giddy as a little girl (well, at least on the inside) when she told me I could keep them in the closet now (even though she wanted to riffle through them and even took back one shirt that she "hadn't remembered telling me to throw away" =/
