Back when transition was merely a dream for me, and I was new to forums and such around 2002 or so, I remember some people were bothered by being referred to with pronouns from their non-preferred gender. I remember thinking "What's the big deal?".
Fast forward to 2009, I had come out and decided to go forward with transitioning. I started to tell people in my life that when I was full time, I hoped that they would use my preferred pronouns when speaking to me, or about me. Well, my best friend and my mother are the only ones that even make an effort and it's really starting to get to me. I say they make an effort, but it's still a minimal effort. I'm glad they try, but still more often than not they'll use he's and hims.
As lame as it sounds, the pronoun problem has been one of the hardest things for me to deal with out of everything.
If in public I would get him'd or sir'd or he'd all the time, maybe it would be different, but in public, even sans makeup, I'm always treated like a lady, which I'm thankful for as well.
Now, let me say that I don't really correct them that often, but that's because it seems to fall on deaf ears. I understand that they have known me as a boy for a long time, so is it even possible for them to change?
I know it seems trivial, but every time it happens it feels like someone is piercing my heart...I mean I literally feel a pain in my chest, get a lump in my throat...it reminds me of being rejected by girls as a kid...I hate it.
I wanted to ask everyone here what their experiences were with family and friends or whomever and pronouns. Is there hope that they'll come around? Do I have to be more assertive? I don't care if they see me as a woman or not, since strangers always do, but I feel like it's a matter of respect.
