stuck in a rut and ranting

[anibioman]

ive been feeling stuck for about a year now i was feeling stuck and frustrated because i couldnt change anything without coming out so i came out to everyone i know but those dumb mother ->-bleeped-<-ers havent changed. i feel like everything i hoped to accomplish this year i completely failed at.
-get more male friends
-get people to view me as male
-get on T
-feel ok
-get my grades up

and more specifically this summers failed goals
-get on T
-break the cycle of depression
-get in better shape
-grow my hair out
-fix my acne
-get a prosthetic
-switch schools
-get tested for hypothyroidism

these where the only things i wanted to do this summer and ive failed to do any of them although some of them are not only my fault, my parents happen to be huge procrastinators so all the medical failures are partially their fault because they wont help me or they say they will but they dont. i cant live like this anymore everyday is just another reminder that i have failed. feel free to rant about whatever in response.

[Robert Scott]

Dependence on others can be very frustrating.

Take control!  What is stopping you from setting up your own appointments?  My kids have had their insurance cards given to them since day one.  They set up all their medical appointments and once they had their drivers license they took themselves to their appointments.  Talk to your school counselor about your transition goals - alot of schools have therapist connected to their school that provide counseling to kids.  My foster son got counseling through the school and even medication for his adhd.

I have been trying to get into shape for surgery for several months -- I finally talked a good friend into helping me.  We worked on a plan to slowly start -- set goals and she keeps me motivated.  Find a friend to help you.  Walk into the locker room of your school and talk to the teacher and see if they can give you a guy to help you -- plus it should help with the goal of meeting and becoming friends with guys.  Take a weight lifting class.  Join a sport team.

[jaeger87]

I'm not able to view your profile for whatever reason... I'm assuming you're in high school.  I just wanna tell you that no matter how much you feel stuck where you are, things will get so much better soon.  Whether or not you go to college, once you get out of the house and start working full-time, you'll get the  freedom to really start over.  I know how "stuck" you can feel when you're in high school.  It sucks.

Here's my unsolicited advice: don't try to do everything at once (at least when it comes to money), just hang in there and take things one day at a time.  Plan ahead for your transition.  Therapy, starting T, getting surgery, getting your name changed... it all costs money and time.  Planning helps, and it gives you something to work towards.  That keep you busy if you start getting down about things.  Meanwhile, start resarching free/low costs clinics and therapists in your area.  You might have to drive for a couple hours to find something, but it beats paying $100+ an hour.  Above all, hang in there and don't get discouraged if you hit some roadblocks. 

You can email caandersen007 at gmail dot com if you have questions and want personal experience/advice.  Good luck man.