Gender Reveal

[ChrissyRyan]

How did you go about letting a friend (or perhaps a family member) know about your gender transition?

Were you anxious?

How did it go?

How along were you in your transition when you did your gender reveal with this person?

Have you any more people with whom you plan to gender reveal?

Does everyone you want to know about your transition know now?


Chrissy

[Sephirah]

How did you go about letting a friend (or perhaps a family member) know about your gender transition?

Were you anxious?

How did it go?

To deal with part of your post... I just told them I needed to talk to them about something. Something important.

Was I anxious? Absolutely terrified. But... I think mostly because I am not someone who easily puts their life in someone else's hands. I was more scared about feeling vulnerable than anything else. And trusting someone else. I have massive trust issues. Namely... I don't. Hardly ever. I have more internal security around me than Fort Knox. More layers than an onion, as it were. The thought of letting that down and... letting someone in... letting them decide how they felt about me... that mortified me more than probably laying down on a landmine or something. I still remember the feeling. Each time. It was like gargling sand. I was shaking, lol.

Most people... I don't care, because I don't care enough what they think of me for their opinions to matter. I have very thick skin when it comes to people I don't know. But people I let close to me... they can kill me with a word. That's just the kind of person I am, I guess. I am... a fragile heart within a glacier.

The first time it went... better than I could have ever hoped. It led me here. Renewed my faith in humanity. The second time I told someone close to me... it went... differently. He didn't understand. Couldn't understand. And I can't blame him. But he was like "If you get it, that's okay." And that's the most I could have hoped for, really.

It taught me that... it's okay to have faith in people. Even when everything around you tells you that you shouldn't. To allow yourself to be vulnerable because you might be surprised. I still struggle with it though. I still keep most people at arm's length.

[Mariah]

How did you go about letting a friend (or perhaps a family member) know about your gender transition?

Were you anxious?

How did it go?

How along were you in your transition when you did your gender reveal with this person?

Have you any more people with whom you plan to gender reveal?

Does everyone you want to know about your transition know now?


Chrissy

Generally took them aside, called, and messaged to let them know I had something important I wanted to share with them. Anyone, I wasn't able to do that with at the end was told via Facebook post shortly before I killed off my original Facebook account.

I was not anxious, but then again I chose carefully who to share and who was left with a brief chance to know before cutting all ties.

It went well, but my choosing carefully those who I shared with ensured that it would for the most part.

In most cases early, but my transition moved at lightning speed too.

Those in my life now, who didn't know before are not shared the info. No one left I plan on revealing too.

Everyone I want to know knows at this point. Anyway, I hope that answers your question. Hugs
Mariah

[KathyLauren]

I told quite a few friends from my past.  Mostly, I emailed them, since they are scattered all over the country. 

I was always a bit anxious.  After all, they might reject me and that would suck.  On the other hand, if they were that kind of person, I wouldn't have been friends with them in the first place.  And if they turned out to be that kind of person anyway, I'd be better off without them in my life.  So a bit anxious, but not overly so.

Everyone who needs to know does so.  So do a few people who didn't need to know, but whom I wanted to know just for old times' sake.

[Sarah B]

Hi Everyone

I have never done a formal "Gender Reveal," or in other words, I've rarely told anyone about my identity, except under a few exceptional circumstances.

I never directly came out to my family. My uncle, who knew about the changes I was making in my life at the time, ended up telling my mother. She was curious about my whereabouts, and he was under some pressure to explain. As for the rest of my family, I assume word spread through a kind of "Chinese whispers."

In the early days, when it came to doctors and psychiatrists, they found out through referral letters rather than me telling them directly.
Over the years, I've shared this with about six doctors: two recently through letters regarding my surgery, and four others whom I told verbally.

There are only a few other instances that come to mind. One was around 2010 when I had to get documents signed by a justice of the peace. I didn't explicitly tell him about my condition; it was clear from the nature of the paperwork.

Another was with a superannuation specialist who needed the details to reflect my new identity. The third instance was a high school friend. I'm not sure how much she already knew, but she was trying to figure out what had happened to me. We ended up writing letters back and forth for a long time.

Most of the time, when people find out, it's through family connections. It's not usually me who tells them, but rather a family member, or they learn through family history.

So, I rarely reveal my past. Even when I do, it's only in very rare circumstances.

Take care and all the best for the future.

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator

[Sarah B]

Hi Everyone

It must be noted I never transitioned, however in answering the questions.

How did you go about letting a friend (or perhaps a family member) know about your gender transition?
I have never had to reveal to friends or family about 'changing my life around'.

Were you anxious?
I have never been anxious when I have had to tell someone.  Embarrassed once yes and that was in the case of the 'Justice of the Peace'.

How did it go?
When ever it was revealed verbally or paper work, it has gone okay, since the situation was in a professional situation.  In other words, thinking about it.  I was not going to be discussing my situation, it was a case of lets do what needs to be done.

How along were you in your transition when you did your gender reveal with this person?  Only doctors and physciatrists knew right from the start and I never revealed to them anything about my gender, they just saw me as female.  In regards to mum it would have been around three months when my uncle must have told her.

Have you any more people with whom you plan to gender reveal?
No, I will never reveal my past to anyone unless it's absolutely necessary.

Does everyone you want to know about your transition know now?
There is nobody I know at the present or past that I want them to know about me.

I have lived without telling anybody about me (except for rare occasions) and I feel very comfortable in not doing so.

Take care and all the best for the future.

Best Wishes Always
Sarah B
Global Moderator

[Gina P]

Coming out and telling my family and friends was absolutely terrifying. When I told my son, I wore women's turquoise sneakers and asked him what he thought about my sneakers. He responded with they look like woman's! Which opened the door to my conversation. The next holiday was Thanksgiving at his house and all my daughter in laws family lined up to hug me at the door. I knew the secrete was out. In the early days I was telling everyone I knew about my transition. It felt great to get the load off my soul. Now unless someone asks, I'm just Gina a woman.