thank you envie. i feel uncomfortable today, i hate waiting moments. i dont know if hed give me a favorable response or not. i just feel im at a disadvantage in these moments where i am not physically with him, and peoples imagination gets a bit too imaginative and lose sight of 'you'. but you know, i felt more free on the last moments of intimacy i had with him after telling him, i guess i was no longer worried about evading certain angles, positions touches where it can give me away.
so i guess i can just babble on what i think has worked for me, not just necessarily with the dating but them just not noticing, for those who dont want to be caught.
a lot of concern among us which is a big root of our insecurity are boobs. coz we see these naturals(im sorry ok i dont know what to call them) with those huge things, especially here in Los angeles where people are 'bigger' than usual so they have boobs that are just as big - makes you wonder what kind of woman am i without those. but you know, not all have big boobs and believe it or not men can be accepting of that fact actually - some actually find it hot - they see it as a ... young look, some ok. but point being, if you are thin and you have small ones, they can be forgiving. but PS, small not flat literally like paper alright. but if we're on hormones i think there would be something there right i mean i only had it for 4 months and i have enough for someone to feel i have something. ps, im a bit thin. small boobs = small frame = forgivable, but just based on my interactions with men ok.
i think the face is a big factor in things. one issue is the jaw. ive seen some here with squarish jaws but i still can see the woman - theres a lot of women out there with that kind of jaw. its the whole face thats judged i believe, its how they all come together - including the expressions and smiles and the look in your eyes. dont feel so insecure about it, it can show in your expressions. if youve good points that are feminine, they say to work on them and put them a bit more 'forward' and make the rest less noticable or direct to these. my cheeks are bad, but my eyes are nice. oh yeah ive noticed, usually our cheeks are sunk right, especially when we're thin. but when we smile - the push fills it up and makes em look girly - smiling helps and it makes em more comfortable too. and of course i guess smile like a girl ahahahahha and laugh like one right dont go over and end up like the joker eh. you can tell a guy 'come and get me' with just your face, right?
obviously the voice is important. but ive noticed, they still dont mind if you have a bit of coarseness left. as long as the 'deepness' resides it can be enough. make em focus on what you are saying, redirect them away from how you are saying them. an dif youre talking about things that no man would care about or think, it makes it harder for them to not think you are a woman. this simple nonsense line for example, 'i bought some heels yesterday', it sounds so stupid but once that hits their brains it will raise a female flag for you. avoid topics that hint of male interest - but sometimes its ok too since it gives them a homely we can be good friends too feeling but excessive amounts wont be to your advantage here I think.
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hair, if youre out of things you can change, get a girly hair. mine is upto my butt. that alone, people tell me, its like unimaginable that im not a woman with this kind of hair. take care of your hair and look around you, what do the women out there wear.
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woman - its all in a persons head, and people can be made to believe just about anything.
i think if you hit a small snag, you should try to divert his attention to himself. like make him talk about himself, make him think just divert him but not too far. then recover and slowly start hitting him again.
to those of us who lived as men before... wont you agree we have an advantage here somewhat even against some women out there? we know what guys like and what turns em on... sure everyone can be different but come on right. the look that you drooled for, the kiss that you just so wanted, the things you wanted to hear, the atmosphere, the feeling ... that thing that just makes you want to jump her no matter where you are or whos looking... this time, trying to give em instead can help, big time.
well thats just some... hey you can be forgiving right, im new to all this so just correct me if i said something silly. hey, i can use the info you know.
ok im sorry i am just talking nonsense here to get my mind off things, but idiotically its making me think of my problems even more. what can i say im... i feel so uneasy right now. im so worried. my chest hurts so bad. i just want to go to bed again and just fall asleep. im trying to prep myself for an unpleasant reply... i just know itll hit me reaaaaally hard if things dont go well. oh my god.
last one would be, give in to the feeling. but you know... that one can be addicting.
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i got a reply earlier. i wento to him to hear what he has to say. told me what i expected anyway, i mean come on - when you tell theres just on eresponse right? yeah i know some of you would say something against that but cut me some slack today ok. he told me we can only be friends. well, im new to the hormones, but the emotional ->-bleeped-<- is working on me full load it seems so i guess you can imagine how i feel at this very minute. he was the first i loved. ill cut that there before i say something that will ban me. just use your imagination eh. well ahahaaha
