When I was a a girl

[Bird]

When I was young, I remember praying to God so I would turn into a girl, you know, magically, a miracle, because I knew in my little mind that if this keep going I would suffer very much. As time progressed, I elaborated more on this. Knowing he was all-powerful, I prayed to have been born a girl, the past erased and changed.

Obviously those prayers weren't answered. It can be said God works in mysterious ways, but anyway, as I got into my teenage years I lost faith on God nearly exclusively because of that. It still remains as a dent on my spiritual shield and my faith on God.

I keep asking myself, how could a ever loving God do this to me, and if he is all-powerful why didn't he just change me?

[Constance]

You pretty much summed up a lot of what went through my mind from about 11 through 13 years of age. I used to pray for a miracle, or that I'd get some bizarre disease where the only possible cure would have been a "sex-change," as I thought of the procedure in those terms at that time.

The funny thing is, I never blamed God for my being born male. I guess I never figured it was God's fault; I'm not sure why.

But now, I thank God that I'm in transition and that I have the support of my pastor and my church.

[jainie marlena]

@Bird, I remember driving my car out into a corn field to have a few words with God about making me this way. I cried, I yeild and I said a few words that most would see as blasphemy. I did not understand at the time his/her reasons for this. What if s/he chose you for this so that you could understand what s/he going through. I say s/he because he is the haed and she is his body. We are her to him. The body is not complete with out the head. The life that Jesus lived is our life. His life did not end on the cross and neither did ours. When the father raised him from the dead he said"thou art my beloved son this day I have begotten thee." Where were we when this took place? They say ye must be born again. Where were you when he arose from the dead? I know where you were because you were there with me. This my sound hard to be understood it was for me. If we are is body who are are we? The world says we are men and our fisical bodys said we were men but what did our heart say to us?
@shades, what church you go to?

[Bird]

Well

I simply can't wrap my head around the concept of a ever loving God that does things like this. If we are his creation and he made us TG, and if he is all-knowing he freakin was aware of what we were going to go through, I feel he is  not worthy of worship.

I'm sorry  for posting this in a Christian forum. I don't mean to question anyone, I suppose I am just not Christian... I do believe in God and Jesus, but I can't see their acts as loving or welcoming.

[Kentrie]

Agreed. I have recently began blaming god for not making me male. I find it extremely hard to believe he listens to everyone and all that. I know he and god exists I just don't think he listens to everyone or maybe he doesn't listen to anyone.

[Constance]

shades, what church you go to?

Congregational Church of San Mateo

[mimpi]

When I was young, I remember praying to God so I would turn into a girl, you know, magically, a miracle, because I knew in my little mind that if this keep going I would suffer very much. As time progressed, I elaborated more on this. Knowing he was all-powerful, I prayed to have been born a girl, the past erased and changed.

Obviously those prayers weren't answered. It can be said God works in mysterious ways, but anyway, as I got into my teenage years I lost faith on God nearly exclusively because of that. It still remains as a dent on my spiritual shield and my faith on God.

I keep asking myself, how could a ever loving God do this to me, and if he is all-powerful why didn't he just change me?

I think most of us prayed to God to change things and then felt nothing had happened. Well, in a way it did work as you were born a girl although not in the conventional sense. Praying works for me although unfortunately I'm lazy and go for months at a time without doing it. Life does seem to improve when one prays, that may be just the meditative nature of it or perhaps more, we can't really know. Not sure if I'm unusual in this but for many years I don't pray for myself but, usual the fixed prayers aside (I'm not Christian), for everyone apart from myself. Feel bad praying for myself although one could say that not praying for one self is a naive attempt to outwit God by attempting to come across as selfless.

Think the best way of looking at why God made us the way we are is that there's some reason behind it. Even from a non religious perspective there could be reasons related to survival of the species and social stability. Perhaps we are here as a test to ourselves, perhaps He thinks we are strong enough to handle it, perhaps we are here to remind others the world isn't in black and white or maybe he just thought it would be amusing to see what happened. We cannot understand or perceive His reasoning, we see just a part of this world and his creation and how that reacts with the unseen and the unknown is beyond human understanding.

One can get into some deep stuff along these lines, the best understanding I've ever read on the matter was written a thousand years ago and I'm sure many Christian writers have explored the same issue. Nothing to do with Mormons btw: http://www.amazon.com/Niche-Lights-Brigham-Young-University/dp/0842523537

[Abstract]

When I was young, I remember praying to God so I would turn into a girl, you know, magically, a miracle, because I knew in my little mind that if this keep going I would suffer very much. As time progressed, I elaborated more on this. Knowing he was all-powerful, I prayed to have been born a girl, the past erased and changed.

Obviously those prayers weren't answered. It can be said God works in mysterious ways, but anyway, as I got into my teenage years I lost faith on God nearly exclusively because of that. It still remains as a dent on my spiritual shield and my faith on God.

I keep asking myself, how could a ever loving God do this to me, and if he is all-powerful why didn't he just change me?

I think people to easily dismiss the horribly simplified justification, "God works in mysterious ways."

Rather i would say perhaps the reason God made you and keeps you the way you are is because it informs your character in a manner that is conducive to aiding the growth of humanity more then that of you having a female identified body.
For example it is possible that being as you are will provide example to the rest of humanity to aid the growth of more accepting mentalities.
Or perhaps if you were born a female you would have been to consumed by particular things that are fed into female culture that would have prevented your spirtual or mental growth to be as much of a contributor to what was deemed important for you to contribute to.
There is an endless number of possible reasons...

Further it is important to realize that all-powerfull does not equal "can do anything"
as "anything" is a set including both powers and non-powers...
just saying...

[Del]

Bird,
There is one reason that God allows people to be born the way that they are.
If you read the new testament you will find that certain churches like the church of Macedonia were people poor and afflicted. Those who received the word while in deep poverty.
In the King James Bible Paul writes that he rejoices in his sufferings.
Over the years many preachers have twisted the word of God into this goody-goody religion where everyone is rich and happy and has a smile on their greedy little faces like Joel Osteen.
Many of the straight cisgender people that pack auditoriums to here a heretic tell them they are chosen of God and oh so special in the eyes of God will fall when their time of testing comes.
When the day comes when that great job that satan has blessed them with gets rid of them they will have time to look for the Lord but it will be too late.
People that have trials, tribulations and things in their lives that torment them many times are stronger than those who have been babied all their lives.
Hope this helps.

[Abstract]

Bird,
There is one reason that God allows people to be born the way that they are.
If you read the new testament you will find that certain churches like the church of Macedonia were people poor and afflicted. Those who received the word while in deep poverty.
In the King James Bible Paul writes that he rejoices in his sufferings.
Over the years many preachers have twisted the word of God into this goody-goody religion where everyone is rich and happy and has a smile on their greedy little faces like Joel Osteen.
Many of the straight cisgender people that pack auditoriums to here a heretic tell them they are chosen of God and oh so special in the eyes of God will fall when their time of testing comes.
When the day comes when that great job that satan has blessed them with gets rid of them they will have time to look for the Lord but it will be too late.
People that have trials, tribulations and things in their lives that torment them many times are stronger than those who have been babied all their lives.
Hope this helps.

I think you would be surprised who god accepts to heaven...

[treeworshipper]

in the realm of spirit, there is no gender, maybe you'd find peace if instead of praying to God turn into a girl, you prayed to Goddess to just be the true self in the body you have, which no one can say is male or female anyways

[xXRebeccaXx]

Gods a sadist

[veronica nickie]

Hi Bird!

God has chosen not to go back into the past, but he does promise to be here with you in the present and future.  Not all babies are born perfect into this world, and believe it or not there are worse things that happen to some.  However he does love you deeply and wants your love.  Like one of the other folks said he did bring you into this world as a female, your soul is female, so the real you is and at least in many countries you can live as a female and even physically to some extent with hormones and surgery to help your physical self align.

Drop your being upset sith god, search the bible and call on Jesus as your Lord and Savior, and you will find peace with God, and yourself.  You have many prayers yet to say that many of which you will see answered.

Veronica

[Del]

Bird,
I hope you don't mind how I answered. I'm just too dumb to use the quote feature so I dissected your post.

"When I was young, I remember praying to God so I would turn into a girl, you know, magically, a miracle, because I knew in my little mind that if this keep going I would suffer very much. As time progressed, I elaborated more on this. Knowing he was all-powerful, I prayed to have been born a girl, the past erased and changed."

As someone said we all probably wished or prayed at one time or another that the Lord would change something for us only to find no change.
That doesn't make God evil.
The word of God says that the Lord gives every seed a body as it pleases him.
What you do with that body your soul and spirit is in is up to you.
Being cisgender and not experiencing your pain I cannot say. I can say however that what you do is between you and God.

"Obviously those prayers weren't answered. It can be said God works in mysterious ways, but anyway, as I got into my teenage years I lost faith on God nearly exclusively because of that. It still remains as a dent on my spiritual shield and my faith on God."

Many have one issue that causes them to lose faith. Two young men I knew believed that if they waited God would lead them to the right woman such as Isaac in Genesis where the servant went to get his wife.
In time while waiting they fell away and blamed God.
All of the side issues of this I won't go into such as dating, computer sites for women and such.
The main thing is that in time this one issue caused their fall.
The devil was more than happy to flaunt a bunch of sexy teases in front of them.
Maybe they should have dated and trusted God without railing out against him.
At any rate the devil used that one issue to get them.

"I keep asking myself, how could a ever loving God do this to me, and if he is all-powerful why didn't he just change me?"

Maybe he didn't change you for reasons that he knows and will only be revealed in his time.
Some of those who go through a life of hell are way stronger than those who don't.
Also. It is easy to love God when all is going well. Auditoriums are packed with people being told they are somebody and that the Lord died to make them rich. That's easy and maybe conditional love when the money or fame leaves.
For some of us our lives are being poor, bankrupt, often sick, disabled, hated by mainstream churches and such. For some of us the Lord (and wife in my case) are all we have.
That's unconditional love for the Lord.
I hope all works out for you.