Almost being outed

[Metroland]

I have been on an online chat for a long time and it is of very narrow interest so there are not a lot of them.  I think that everyone on that website thinks that everyone else is male.  I have been posting there before I started the gender identity journey.

Last week I had an intense discussion with a group of people on the chat and one of them was like I have a feeling that you are a woman.  Of course he won't know unless I out myself but I was worried if this day would come.  I want to reply back and say there is nothing wrong with being a woman, but I have no idea why they are discriminating. It is not like this interest is exclusive to males.

Outing myself on that forum would be the end of me and for now it is my best chance of expressing myself.

What can I do?

Thanks

[Stephe]

Well to LOTS of men, women are second class/stupid or whatever. Men > women. And yes a woman in a chat with a room full of guys does change they dynamics. The fact you waited this long to respond has maybe already outed you, as most guys would be offended if someone thought they were a woman. Or would respond back something like "Yeah right lool" That is a common playful insult a guy would use towards another guy.
I assume you are a woman and if so am kinda surprised you have no idea that men discriminate against women.

As far as what to do? Given the time period I would do nothing and if it comes up again and you want to continue to be seen as "one of the guys" come back with something that looks like you are pretty insulted by being accused for the second time of even maybe being a woman. Defending "what's wrong with being a woman" is NOT something most guys would say.

[Ann Onymous]

I'm confused about where the 'outed' part even enters into the equation here.  While I know some online forums have members who actually do things together, it sounds like this was more of a relatively anonymous chat where people have made various assumptions about other participants.  And THAT is a very different scenario than someone who is deliberately or even accidentally 'outed' as anything, whether gay, lesbian, trans, Republican, Democrat or anything else...

Outing myself on that forum would be the end of me and for now it is my best chance of expressing myself.

Not sure what you mean by 'be the end of me...' in the above quote. 

[AbraCadabra]

Metroland,
I had such a situation with a VERY specific group of audio/vinyl play back/turn table/Moving Magnet cartridges/ tone arms/ interested males.
I'd lost some interest during early transition and only peaked in and it was mostly same old, same old. Toys for boys going on about it over and again --- yet after some month, since I'd been very active earlier on I logged in and signed off with Axelle...

Eh, right... as Stephe said: it changed the dynamics but more so because I had transitioned.
One less regular blogger contacted me and we had some talk about my transition but even that ran out of steam.
You become some one else than how those folks met you on the web. In your case you kept in the closet but once outed that late, it would make it probably worse. The others may feel cheated --- something I'd discussed on another thread.
In fact if you are still so interested you may be able to play over it all, and time will tell if that works.
In my case I dropped the site, it became a non-value-added waste of time. One can just feel if you loose this connection to the others...

My 2cents,
Axelle

[Nero]

Hi Metroland,

Are you mtf or ftm? That will help us understand the situation a little better. Ann brings up a good point. Is this forum anonymous? What will happen if they find out you're female?

[Metroland]

Thank you so much everyone for your support.  You have been really supportive.

Sorry for the confusion about my gender.  I was born biologically male but I identify as a transsexual.

I replied to the post because there was a recent reply on the post and was being sarcastic that they caught me.  I felt that I betrayed myself a little.  If I feel uncomfortable I might leave it.

Thanks again for your kind replies.

[xXRebeccaXx]

Thank you so much everyone for your support.  You have been really supportive.

Sorry for the confusion about my gender.  I was born biologically male but I identify as a transsexual.

I replied to the post because there was a recent reply on the post and was being sarcastic that they caught me.  I felt that I betrayed myself a little.  If I feel uncomfortable I might leave it.

Thanks again for your kind replies.

No one Identifys as "a transsexual" Male and Female(and everything in between) are identityd

[Stephe]

No one Identifys as "a transsexual" Male and Female(and everything in between) are identityd

And you have become the last word on this? If THEY identify themselves as transsexual, that's their business. Given I have seen THOUSANDS of people say they 'see themselves as a transsexual', I personally think you're way off on this statement.

[~RoadToTrista~]

No one Identifys as "a transsexual"

I do.

[mimpi]

So do I

[bojangles]

I felt that I betrayed myself a little.

Metroland, how so?

[JessicaH]

I met my BFF on this forum then found out we were both members of the same forum somewhere else totally unrelated and obscure. It can be a small world.