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Freaking Out!

Started by Michael Joseph, September 07, 2011, 10:31:40 PM

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Michael Joseph

So Ive worked with this girl a couple times, shes African, from Ghana. She is against my transition, but she still likes me. Today my friend gave her a ride somewhere and she goes to him "I had a horrible dream about Sophia (my birth name)." He said, "you mean Michael?" And she said "No, its Sophia. I had a dream she went to have surgery (top surgery) and she died. My dreams come true!" He started laughing and she said "No you have to Stop her! If she dies its your fault"

So now I'm freaking out I don't know what to think, but I'm really upset. What do you guys think?

Torn1990

Quote from: Michael Joseph on September 07, 2011, 10:31:40 PM
So Ive worked with this girl a couple times, shes African, from Ghana. She is against my transition, but she still likes me. Today my friend gave her a ride somewhere and she goes to him "I had a horrible dream about Sophia (my birth name)." He said, "you mean Michael?" And she said "No, its Sophia. I had a dream she went to have surgery (top surgery) and she died. My dreams come true!" He started laughing and she said "No you have to Stop her! If she dies its your fault"

So now I'm freaking out I don't know what to think, but I'm really upset. What do you guys think?

   I'd laugh it off.. Try not to freak. As trans people we have to hold strong when we are in situations like this. The whole "I care about you, but i need you to live this way" tactic gets really old.  She needs to get out of your business, this person has caused enough problems for you. If she ever harasses you directly about this, i'd warn her to stop discussing it, if she continues to i'd speak to whoever is in charge about this. 
queer, transgender woman, Feminist, & writer. ~
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Preston

This is a messed up situation. First she disrespects you by calling you the name you have decided to no longer go by. And then upsets you with this dream. Dreams are dreams, bro. I dreamt I made out with Mila Kunis but I'm not all freaked out and excited because I know it's gonna happen or something, it won't. Don't let people get to you. Just be you, you're awesome.
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eli77

She's an idiot. And rather disrespectful. Her being against your transition, but "liking" you anyway is crap. Either she likes who you actually are or she doesn't.

Your friend's reaction was perfect. Laughter is the only reasonable response to that insanity.
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Hermione01

Quote from: Michael Joseph on September 07, 2011, 10:31:40 PM
So Ive worked with this girl a couple times, shes African, from Ghana. She is against my transition, but she still likes me. Today my friend gave her a ride somewhere and she goes to him "I had a horrible dream about Sophia (my birth name)." He said, "you mean Michael?" And she said "No, its Sophia. I had a dream she went to have surgery (top surgery) and she died. My dreams come true!" He started laughing and she said "No you have to Stop her! If she dies its your fault"

So now I'm freaking out I don't know what to think, but I'm really upset. What do you guys think?

Well if you analyse her dream, she would be correct. Death dreams are about rebirth. So in effect, it is the death of Sophia and the rebirth of Michael.
Her dreams are her own fears and she is being ridiculous and hysterical over something that is none of her business or in her control.
 
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Cindy

Difficult people to deal with. She doesn't accept you for being you but rather wants her image of you. I doubt she will change her opinion not matter how warped it is. I think you are best ignoring her and doing what you want to in life. As for dream future forecasting, Goddess, what garbage.  Remind me again about all those people who dream forecast, 9/11, the Japanese earthquake, anything; and reported it before and not after the event.

Michael you will meet plenty of these people. Without being in any way disrespectful, FtM suffer opinion from women because they cannot comprehend why another 'woman' would want top and bottom surgery. One of the big outpouring of grief's from woman to female friends who have breast cancer is, the 'loss' of femininity. Similarly, with MtF, men cannot understand at all, why another 'man' would want 'his' testicles removed and a vagina created, develop breasts and everything that goes with it.

Most people have no concept of what it is to be TG. None what so ever. Don't be put off. Don't get upset. Guys shrug this sort of stuff off. As you should.

Take Care

Cindy
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wheat thins are delicious

Quote from: Michael Joseph on September 07, 2011, 10:31:40 PM
So Ive worked with this girl a couple times, shes African, from Ghana. She is against my transition, but she still likes me. Today my friend gave her a ride somewhere and she goes to him "I had a horrible dream about Sophia (my birth name)." He said, "you mean Michael?" And she said "No, its Sophia. I had a dream she went to have surgery (top surgery) and she died. My dreams come true!" He started laughing and she said "No you have to Stop her! If she dies its your fault"

So now I'm freaking out I don't know what to think, but I'm really upset. What do you guys think?

I really don't know what to say about stuff like that happening outside of work.  That's why I don't associate with people who don't respect my actions.

As for at work:  Are you out and seen as male at work?  If she says something towards you like that at work, is there a way you could tell your management?  Do they have protections against a hostile work environment? 


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bojangles

I think Hermione01 nailed it.

What do so many people say to us when we come out? They feel like they're losing their sister, daughter, etc. It's about their own sense of loss. It tends to happen when they realize you're serious.
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rensie

Most people have no concept of what it is to be TG. None what so ever. Don't be put off. Don't get upset. Guys shrug this sort of stuff off. As you should.

true that
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RhinoP

Honestly, the death rates from undergoing surgery are truly substantial, I'm not going to lie about that one. I hear a couple stories a year about deaths from boobs jobs, rhinoplasties, liposuctions, ect ect, and it usually happens when the patient happens to swallow blood while asleep, or if the doctor hits certain veins or causes certain infections that travel through the bloodstream and things faster than normally. It does happen, and a bit more commonly than it should, in my opinion.

With me, I have indeed had dreams that have come true in exact form (one time, I predicted the exact school schedule of my best friend, down to what teachers she would have, what periods she'd have the classes, what classmates would be in her classes, all based on a dream - and it came true entirely, 100%.), it's hard to know if your friends dream was anything worth paying attention to. It may be just that she was already scared for you and had you on her mind, and it caused the dream.

With any surgery, just make sure your surgeon (has the knowledge and maturity to) explains the entire spectrum of risks, including what could potentially cause death. My first rhinoplasty surgeon operated on me because he convinced me the surgery literally had no risks one should worry about, yet my result came out maimed and deformed. You really got to make sure your surgeon is the right choice for you, and that he takes his job very seriously. You also should meet the anesthesiologist before your surgery, and ask him about his profession, experience, and risks as well - he literally holds your life in his hands.

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JulieC.

The only dreams that come true are the ones we make come true for ourselves.  She's ignorant and I would ignore her.



"Happiness is not something ready made.  It comes from your own actions" - Dalai Lama
"It always seem impossible until it's done." - Nelson Mandela
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mimpi

Think Caseyy is correct in saying it's just a way of talking. Don't take it to heart and don't let it get to you, it's nothing Obeah/JuJu or whatever :) Seriously, I've lived in West Africa and sometimes people, nice people, come out with things like this, it means nothing and is just traditional thinking.
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