Quote from: LilKittyCatZoey on September 10, 2011, 03:04:19 PM
ok hey girls call me crazy but now i am certain my bodys gone made and given me pms!
ok pls say watEva is on your mind but now 3 months hrt i am sure ! each month of these 3 months for a few days i get random cramps, super bi*chiNess , bloated feet and my weight goes up ! there are other random stuff like i can't concentrate at all and get wozzy !
I'm not on HRT, but I started a transition experiment back in December using more "natural" methods. Even with that, I still had many of the problems you describe. I remember being really upset that my body was changing slowly, but my emotions were going haywire. It took a good four months before I really calmed down. The first two months were a nightmare. I really was a superbitch almost all of the time. I would get really upset over the slightest thing. I remember making several posts on the forums which were really inappropriate. I'm just lucky I was able to survive without having an incident with my family. It would have been hard to explain away, because being emotional was completely not my style.
I also did get some stomach cramps, and I did have a greater tendency to get woozy after waking up or eating lots of sugar. Other than that, I didn't experience any of the other symptoms you describe.
It's been almost nine months in my transition experiment, and I'm a lot different now than I was before I started or just after I started. I'm much calmer now. I feel like I can actually relax and enjoy myself. I'm not tense and angry all the time. My dysphoria is MUCH less. My body has feminized somewhat, but not nearly as much as I had predicted that it would.
Unfortunately (fortunately?) I deleted most of my blog. It contained too much useless speculation and wild ramblings. Also, the first few months of my blog were mostly me being a superbitch. To be honest, I was ashamed that I couldn't control my behavior. Not being able to control emotions is one thing, but allowing those emotions to get so out of hand that it affects behavior is something different altogether. I felt really bad that I couldn't control myself. I spent a lot of time alone in the house so that I wouldn't be around anyone, because I knew the slightest thing would tick me off. I really tried to control myself, but I just couldn't.
I have a much greater respect for what women go through, now. Back when I was more masculine, I always thought it was ludicrous that some women would get completely bitchy just because they become more emotional around their periods. I figured that even an emotional person should still be able to use their brain and make logical decisions. Now, I understand that this isn't necessarily the case. My vast knowledge and practice of logic didn't help a lick when I was going through the PMS. No matter how much I tried to control my emotions or my behavior, I found myself snapping at people over the smallest minutae. I'm just glad that I was able to hide it, for the most part. I was very antisocial before that, so it wasn't difficult to find reasons to avoid people.
I'm very emotional now, and I love it! Life is starting to become fun. I actually have positive emotions rather than being filled with rage and envy all of the time. I can actually express my emotions for once. The first few months of my transition experiment were a complete nightmare (really, a nightmare) but the results have been so worth it. I couldn't even imagine going back to the "me" that I was last year. The only thing that I remember about that person was that he hated pretty much everything (including his body). It really does feel like I'm a totally different person, now. Even though I still look male (albeit a less masculine male) I'm really starting to feel like a woman on the inside. I'm beginning to feel like I felt I should have felt the whole time.
Now, if only my body would change faster
