I feel happier now.

[Lynn]

As I've already mentioned (in great detail) in my introduction thread. I have only very recently embraced the real me.

I've always tried to make everything go away, to be normal. All that did to me was making me depressed.
Now, however, when I've finally realized this is not something that will just go away and just embraced my true self I feel a lot happier. I have been a lot nicer to people lately and I'm slowly starting to communicate my true feelings more often. People take this very positively and in turn it makes me feel even better to see relationships getting closer.

Now, I haven't outed myself to everyone yet (not by a long shot), but to the few friends that matter I have. I'd like to say that they were supportive but that'd be a grand understatement!
One friend became an even better friend overnight. I simply can't put in words how awesome she's been to me.
To another friend, I needed to explain very in depth what all this is about. Tell him about the possibilities in transitioning and he was a bit skeptical at first, mainly because he didn't really "get it". After having talked for about an hour straight though, he ended with "->-bleeped-<- it, just go for it! There's no reason why you shouldn't have the right to be happy like everyone else!"
And the last friend I outed myself too didn't see it as a surprise whatsoever. Then again, I have been going on and on about how awesome Glee is to him (and he's a very masculine guy that likes guy things). I was a bit worried about him, but ... I can't believe how supportive he's being! He's already started calling me Lily which is nothing short of amazing.

I knew that the few friends I have were amazing people, but I'm simply blown away by this right now ...

There's 2 more important people I have to talk to now. Tomorrow I will talk to my mom, I fully expect her to be supportive so I don't believe it'll be a problem there, but I still can't help feeling anxious about her reaction. I wouldn't say it's fear, but more comparable to the feeling you get when you go on a rollercoaster and it's about to start. I'm halfway afraid to go on it, but on the other half I just can't wait to tell her and would love to just go to her right now and tell her. (but it's almost 5am, maybe that's not the best idea )

The other person, well that'll be a giant mess. My girlfriend has stated in the past that she doesn't see herself as being lesbian. I honestly don't have that much hope for her, but that's all the more reason for going through with it right now, while I'm still so young. We've been together for almost 2 years, and I do love her to death, but at the same time I can't give her happiness without having happiness myself. It just doesn't ork that well. I really hope she can somehow accept me after hearing this news ... but I just don't see it ending without a lot of tears.

I will update this thread as I come out to people. I'm not sure when I'll come out to my girlfriend yet. She's been so stressed with college that it just never seems to be the right time.
But at the very least: tomorrow an update on me having come out to my mom! (and possibly the rest of my family, but I care more about my mom's opinion)

[justmeinoz]

You have already come out to the most important person of all; yourself.  After that it gets easier.
If you have a couple of close girlfriends, and your parents as support, the rest is a lot easier.

Your S.O, will be a bit difficult, but at least you are young enough and not married with kids, so that makes it a bit easier than for some.  Good luck, and have a great future.

Karen.

[Lynn]

I have done it!

I just came out to not only my mom, but to my entire family ... each and every one of them is being very supportive of this. My mom immediately proposed to help me take the steps needed to go through with this. She said things like "Oh, well I guess I have 2 daughters now!" and "I guess we can go shopping together then, just us girls". It felt so amazing!

If I wasn't sure about this before, I definitely would be now!

[Constance]

Coming out to myself was the beginning of a huge process of relief. As I began to come out to family and friends, the relief just got greater. Friends have become closer, and I even have more friends now than before I came out.

And, Karen is right. The most important person to come out to is yourself. When that happened for me, I was almost instantly happier.

It's good to know you have the support of your friends and family. It makes things a lot easier.

Congratulations!

[Lynn]

I just came out to my girl, and now I'm quite a bit less happy.

She's not understanding of the situation AT ALL. She keeps repeating that if I really loved her, I would ignore this and continue living as a man. That's not an option however, as that's pretty much the same as just telling me to go kill myself.

I was fairly sure I was going to lose her, and even though I'm devastated by her reaction, I also can't help but feel relieved. I'm not sure I'd want to be with a person who's so close minded about these issues anyway. If she decides to accept it now with as much doubt as she's been talking about, I still don't see any future between us, as it would likely boil up later anyway and destroy us with a lot more precious time lost.

Not only that, but she absolutely doesn't want her family to ever know, which might get a bit harder once I'm able to go fulltime. I don't plan to change myself anymore for anyone, ever. I'm done being what other people think I should be, and now it's time to just be who I really am. If people can't deal with that, well I suppose they can just ->-bleeped-<- off, really. (I apologize for the language).

All in all, even despite all that, I still believe I made the right decision.

[Constance]

Losing a beloved SO is never easy. My wife announced that she could not be married or intimate with a woman, and we're in the process of getting divorced. At least it's friendly, there aren't any assets to fight over, and our kids are adults.

I was devastated and pretty dysfunctional for a while there, but I'm pretty much reconciled to it.

Yes, it does indeed seem like you made the right decision.

[JoanneB]

I have to agree that coming out to myself was the single most important, and totally scary, thing I've done to help me. That was followed by being accepted into a unique TG group. I felt my life instantly change the night of my first meeting. Telling my "story" to the group, saying those words out loud had such an emotional impact. I've only missed one meeting in the past 18 months and that was only because it was the summer outing to a park. Being out in public like that was not what freaked me out. Just the opposite knowing how perfect and complete I felt in an artificial setting I just knew doing casual for a real life outing was well... too much like real life and Transition 101.

Intellectually recognizing who and what you are and embracing it are two totally different things. All the years of dealing with the guilt, self loathing, and shame were lifted from my shoulders. While my wife always knew about my dressing and earlier experiments to see if transition was for me she had me pegged a lot more towards TV then TS. I know I was not at that end of the spectrum yet not a text book TS according to some. It took a few months after that first meeting when I knew for sure I belonged there, it was for me, I needed to be there. She needed to be told everything.

Now it is over a year since I first confronted my gender problems head on. No shame, no guilt, actually feel as perfect on the inside as I think I look on the outside. It has gotten incredibly harder to keep up the charade of being a guy, although I must for now. After quite a few emotional discussions of late, she see's my situation a lot more clearly now. I also know now that the person to whom I thank each day for helping me accomplish all that I did and help me grow to become the person I am today may just continue to be there for me if I do decide to "Follow the yellow brick road" as she puts it. Almost certainly will be if only part time.

There is no predicting the future. At least now, as I gaze into crystal ball, it isn't all dark and cloudy. The light at the end of the tunnel is not an approaching train. There are options. How can I ask for more than that?