It is easier being a Man than a Woman

[Princess of Hearts]

Discuss.

[Keaira]

 I've never seen a guy pretty himself out of a speeding ticket. But I have. I was in girl mode, pre-HRT driving to see my Councillor and didn't see the speed limit sign that dropped by 10mph. The cop pulled me over for speeding and gave me a verbal warning. Probably figured I had bigger issues going on since I was in a broomstick skirt and blouse with full make-up on. At least he called me Ma'am

As far as I'm concerned, each have their pro's and cons. if your transitioning because you think the grass is greener on the other side then you need to just not do it. All your doing is swapping one set of problems with another. I knew this going in. It's just swapping them for problems I can deal with better. I do admit that females have a greater amount of freedom as far as emotional expression and appearance though.

[Arch]

I've seen this sort of topic before, and it tends to devolve into arguments and hurt feelings. I'm not saying that it WILL happen, but don't be surprised if it does. Frankly, I don't see much point to these types of discussions.

[Lily]

For your standard cis person, I would imagine being male is easier overall.

Just from my experience from observing others and how people are treated, being a cis effeminate male is far harder than being a cis masculine female.

Would trans people have it equally? I don't know any FTMs well enough to say so I have no clue.

[symempathy]

I think that as long as we live in Northern America, Western Europe, and Northern Europe, it doesn't matter whether we are men or women. At least, countries in those areas respect gender equalities. This is only from my perspective. I'm Vietnamese who grew up in Vietnam, so my view of freedom of gender expression may not be the same as yours.

However, being transgendered is perhaps another story.

[LordKAT]

silly question

It is easier for a man to be a man and easier for a woman to be a woman.

[Lily]

I think that as long as we live in Northern America, Western Europe, and Northern Europe, it doesn't matter whether we are men or women. At least, countries in those areas respect gender equalities. This is only from my perspective. I'm Vietnamese who grew up in Vietnam, so my view of freedom of gender expression may not be the same as yours.

However, being transgendered is perhaps another story.

It matters quite a lot if you fall outside of what is considered normal. I wanted to play with dolls and ponies when I was young, which was strongly discouraged. Most children are natural tyrants and will police gender at a very early age, and the adults are pleased at this because they don't have to get their hands dirty.

[Arch]

I think that as long as we live in Northern America, Western Europe, and Northern Europe, it doesn't matter whether we are men or women. At least, countries in those areas respect gender equalities.

I think things have probably improved in the U.S. in the last couple of decades, but when I was living as a woman--particularly when I was deep in my "girl" phase in the 1980s--I felt distinctly unequal. I have had a number of unpleasant experiences that emphasized my inferior status. And I had the advantage of being white.

In the 1990s and beyond, I was too obviously "gender variant" to be able to comment from personal experience. Are things mostly equal in the U.S. now?

[JungianZoe]

It's easier being a woman who lives as a woman than it is to be a woman forced to live as a man.

That's the only experience from which I can speak.

[Princess of Hearts]

It's easier being a woman who lives as a woman than it is to be a woman forced to live as a man.

That's the only experience from which I can speak.

But what if you are a woman who is very tall?   Let's say taller than 99% of men met with in daily life?    What do you do then?

[JungianZoe]

But what if you are a woman who is very tall?   Let's say taller than 99% of men met with in daily life?    What do you do then?

I'm 6'2" in my favorite shoes and I rock that height bold and fierce.   Can't say anything about being much much taller.

[symempathy]

I think things have probably improved in the U.S. in the last couple of decades, but when I was living as a woman--particularly when I was deep in my "girl" phase in the 1980s--I felt distinctly unequal. I have had a number of unpleasant experiences that emphasized my inferior status. And I had the advantage of being white.

In the 1990s and beyond, I was too obviously "gender variant" to be able to comment from personal experience. Are things mostly equal in the U.S. now?

You are white, so perhaps you have known what freedom of expression (not just gender) is since you were born. I was born to think certain acts are normal while others aren't. My culture is quite an suppressing culture. Since I came to the US, I have known what freedom of expression is, but that is my level of freedom of expression. Your desire of gender-variant equality is logically higher than mine because you didn't live in an suppressing society like I did.

I rarely hear Vietnamese immigrants complain about freedom in the US. Again, nevertheless, that is about freedom of expression in general, not gender specifically. Gender-related issue is still a taboo subject in many Vietnamese families. I can say that it is easier to be a Vietnamese woman in American society because many men are still under the impression that women are inferior.

[tekla]

Goodbye, Mama and Papa
Goodbye, Jack and Jill
The grass ain't greener, the wine ain't sweeter
either side of the hill.

[VeryGnawty]

It is easier being me than being someone else.

That is all.

[eli77]

But what if you are a woman who is very tall?   Let's say taller than 99% of men met with in daily life?    What do you do then?

You walk with your back straight and your chin up and confidence in every step just like you own the world. I'm 6'1" in socks and it's AWESOME.

Actually I'm kind of sad that I lost some height on HRT. I was exactly 6' and 3/4 of an inch, and now I'm 6' and 1/2 an inch. I still round up but I mourn that quarter inch.

As to you primary topic... discussing gender inequality on a trans forum sounds about as much fun as drilling another hole in my skull. Sorry, but I pass.

[Arch]

You are white, so perhaps you have known what freedom of expression (not just gender) is since you were born. I was born to think certain acts are normal while others aren't. My culture is quite an suppressing culture. Since I came to the US, I have known what freedom of expression is, but that is my level of freedom of expression. Your desire of gender-variant equality is logically higher than mine because you didn't live in an suppressing society like I did.

I have no doubt that your culture is more oppressive than mainstream U.S. culture--I've worked with naturalized Americans who came from Vietnam, and I've had quite a few students, both male and female, from Vietnamese-American families. But I was born before the second-wave feminist movement, my own family was somewhat conservative, and I have probably had a little more experience with cultures in non-American countries than most (white) Americans have had. All of these conditions and experiences have only increased my appreciation for the freedoms and advantages that I do have.

By the way, people from all cultures are trained to think that "certain acts are normal while others aren't." That practice seems to be a staple of human societies.

[symempathy]

By the way, people from all cultures are trained to think that "certain acts are normal while others aren't." That practice seems to be a staple of human societies.

That couldn't be more right. Still, I think that certain cultures appreciate "to live and let live" motto even though people living in them are conservative. I dare to say this, and I'm not afraid to be labelled a racist: Western culture is always more tolerant than Asian and Arabic cultures.

All cultures change, but Western cultures change more readily than others. Customs may be kept, but people's attitude change.

I can't deny that the fact that American republican white people are ultra conservative and scary people. As I can see in general, American people say what they feel. They don't stab people behind their back. At least, I don't know anyone who does so.

In my extended family, being out of gender norm is silently criticized. It puts pressure on the family. I can't imagine how my parents will feel when I tell them I only feel partially male, but I'm quite sure I will waste my breath trying to convince them that my female side has a significant impact on who I am.

[heatherrose]

It is easier for a man to be a man and easier for a woman to be a woman.

Goodbye, Mama and Papa
Goodbye, Jack and Jill
The grass ain't greener, the wine ain't sweeter
either side of the hill.

These

[xxUltraModLadyxx]

i would agree with the person who said earlier that in usa, gender equality exists. if you live in a country like india, that's another story. here, i believe being a woman/man is only as hard as you make it.

[Arch]

In my extended family, being out of gender norm is silently criticized. It puts pressure on the family. I can't imagine how my parents will feel when I tell them I only feel partially male, but I'm quite sure I will waste my breath trying to convince them that my female side has a significant impact on who I am.

Sounds daunting, but we'll support you all we can.