Posted on
Advocate.com September 12, 2011 06:00:00 AM ET
Op-ed: How Do I Help My Trans Daughter Be Accepted By Our Family?
Gay etiquette expert Steven Petrow helps a grandmother mediate family strife caused by one of her adult children's transition.
By Steven Petrow, advice columnist
http://www.advocate.com/Arts_and_Entertainment/Commentary/Oped_How_Do_I_Help_My_Trans_Daughter_Be_Accepted_By_Our_Family/Q: I'm a grandma who with two adult children, one of whom is trans. She was my son and is now my daughter. My other daughter has two young 'uns — 11 and 13 — and she doesn't want them knowing anything about their new aunt. I think they need to know, if only because we'll all be getting together for the holidays, and something needs to be said. I'm very proud of my "new" daughter and want to help her with her niece and nephew, but my other daughter insists I keep out of it until the kids are older. I can't keep out of it — so what's the best way to help? Oh, and is she now their aunt instead of their uncle?
A: Two snaps to you — first for sticking up for your trans daughter and second for standing up to your other one. You're absolutely right when you say, "something needs to be said." It's not as though your new daughter can join the family without some sort of introduction that makes note of her new gender identity and the name she's chosen to go by.
