girls...

[jonjon]

bloody annoying things sometimes lol

So like, what i want to ask (applies to MTF's too i guess) is how do we initiate what we are with potential love interests?

Say, you're chatting to a very nice person online and you seem to get on pretty well and they bring up the topic of meeting. And esp when someone is pre-hormones, what does one say? How do we go about these situations? How do we go about telling the truth about ourselves, or how if need be do we keep such information to ourselves?

I'm just intrigued about how you guys go about it. I kinda promised myself i would, if i ever met a potebtial love interest, that i would let them know straight from the begining exactly what is going on in my life.... but i see now just how difficult thats going to be and not as easy as said.

:edit: And i just realised that this is possibly in the wrong place... so it will prob get moved lol

[cindianna_jones]

It's a tough thing to bring up the topic to be sure.  For a long time, I told no one.  But when that special someone came along, I told him.  But we had gone out a few times before I did.

Cindi

[Brianna]

The biggest mistake men make when chatting with me is not listening. No listening = no love connection.

Women are pretty understanding. And a shocking number are bisexual anyway. So I doubt they will be threatened.

Bro

[jonjon]

I guess i'm more worried about not saying anything, we meet and they see that i don't look 100% male and either it scares them off or gives them reason to ask questions.

I mean, i'm not 100% confident that i pass on the outside. On the inside i know i am 100% male (may have my feminine touches, but dont most guys anyway?). I think the biggest challenge is passing with myself. If i can believe myself i look 100% how i want, i can be sure that passing with other people will be a doddle. I just have some bad days and good, and i want them all to be good. And if they were all good, this wouldn't be an issue, i guess.

[GQjoey]

I've lived with this problem my whole life. I can't even tell you how many relationships I've had where the girl found out elsewhere, not from me. For me, it was GAME OVER. Even if she was still interested. But the older I got, the more I relized "9 out of 10 times they want to be with me anyway, so what's the problem?".

I came to terms with the problem was ME. I wasn't comfortable being true to MYSELF, therefor definitely wasn't comfortable coming out and telling them straight out I was transgendered.

Plus, it's easier to "get away with it" at a young age, when you're 14-15 and look like a 14-15 yr old boy. I'm 23, and have heard I look anywhere from 16-23. Depends on the person, and how you carry yourself.

As far as "when to tell", I don't think you need to tell anyone straight off the bat. Give them a chance to get to know you, before you give them the chance to judge you. That way, when you do tell them, if they decide not to talk to you, you know it's because you are indeed trans, not because you're not a good person.

I still to this day have friends from 4-5 years back, that don't know. In the past year I've also came clean to some close friends, that wouldn't of even guessed it. One said "I thought you were going to say you were gay, but that didn't make sense because you're always talking about girls".

Just be confident in yourself. I think the only time it's really NEEDED to tell someone, is when a romantic interest starts to develop.