Heavy heart yesterday

[SarahLynn]

So yesterday I experienced something unusual for me. I felt heavy in the heart emotionally and I could not put a finger on the cause of it. It came on very sudden and lasted nearly two hours. During that whole time I was trying to follow my thoughts to see what the issue was. I was unsuccessful. I imagine it is rooted in my gender confusion. I have been emotionally closed off for many years (as a self defense mechanism), and now I am trying to reconnect with myself. It's just frustrating because I used to be a sensitive and emotional person ages ago. Now I just feel emotionally inept I guess. The feeling did remind me of depression similar to what I had experienced in high school. Is there a question in there for you guys/gals somewhere? I really don't know.

[end rambling] for now...

[bojangles]

Maybe you are waking up. All kinds of weird feelings might come up. It's been a pretty surreal thing for me, anyway...waking up and dealing with this life long thing that finally has a name...or two...maybe three.

[SarahLynn]

You could be right. I don't have all my answers yet, but I do know one thing I am tired of hiding. Whoever I end up being 

Now I know I left myself somewhere around here damn it........

[SarahLynn]

Oh and thanks for your thoughts Bojangles.

[BunnyBee]

I get emotional for no reason sometimes.  I always blame hormones for it.

[SarahLynn]

I repressed my emotions for 6 years while I was in the Army. I had to in order to survive. After I was discharged I had an emotional break down. I had such a surge of emotions that it overwhelmed me. It seems though that old habits die hard. I must still be repressing my emotions just on a different scale. It could be hormones bouncing around, but I am also not on HRT.