Is she interested and how the hell do I approach a woman now!!??

[Aussie Jay]

Hey guys.. I'm trying my hardest to study for my impending exams but I'm going round in circles wondering about this chick I know from work & was looking for some opinions, advice, thoughts. She works as a doc in the ED & I'm a paramedic. I see her at least a few times a week. Back in July she treated me for a muscle strain & we chatted - kind of flirty, I was in a lot of pain, but she made some comment about being privy to what the ambulance man wears under his uniform. I walked away thinking she was cute & someone I might like to get to know as a friend at least.. There were just like moments of shy eye contact etc - I dunno I'm terrible at signals etc!!

I've then seen her around the ED & on a night out with some of the ED staff she again made some eye contact with me when I first arrived. I managed to get to talk to her & find out a little about her etc & my interest was sparked. Now I was a little lubricated (with alcohol!) at this 'do so not at my peak & she left early (not because of me!) as she had exams or something coming up - so I didn't see her for a few weeks. She recently reappeared back in the ED & I had patients to hand over to her & I got a bit cheeky (I was being a smart ass to the nurse next to her but it worked out ok) & when I was done with the patient stuff she asked how I was & I about her & there was unnecessary touching of my arm, small talk etc. I wanted to chat more but my partner wasn't much for hanging around as it was knock off time! The morning after by sheer coincidence we ended up at the same restaurant for breakfast - I was with a friend (who everyone seems to think I'm dating so boo there!) & her with her own friends, but on her way past me she said hi & insisted we needed to stop following each other or something like that - again I wanted to talk to her but how inappropriate to leave my friend & interrupt her with hers!

I asked a mutual friend if she was single & a little more about her & he told me how great she is of course... So now I'm wondering if she's maybe interested or if it is too early to tell. Or if after seeing me with my friend she too thinks I'm not available or if the longer I wait to attempt more social contact the worse it'll get and she'll think I'm not interested! I think it is too early to just ask her out - I wouldn't have the balls to do it anyways! But we have a few friends in common on fb & was thinking of adding her & maybe sending a message - but I don't wanna seem stalkerish! I don't know if that would be inappropriate?! I just don't wanna miss an opportunity if one is there but at the same time I'm not a needy bloke & definitely don't wanna come across like that!! What do you guys think??

As I said I am completely lost when it comes to reading chicks!! I was friends for ages with every single one of my exes (not that there's heaps!) from a sporting setting (baseball, softball etc) & as a funny side point they were all straight til me! They have always chased me - I've never had to approach a girl though & I'm wondering how the game has changed! Help a brother out!! I need to study & I just keep coming back to this subject - ARGH!!

j.

[Sharky]

I would definitely facebook her.

[justmeinoz]

Ask her to share a coffee and chat somewhere other than the Hospital cafe, I'd say.  That way you will be away from work and alcohol can't cloud the judgment or cause rampant guy stupidity.  Good luck, at least you know how to contact her, unlike my case. 

Karen.

[anibioman]

i would ask her out like something little like for coffee and then that wont be  really embarrassing if you find out she doesent like you and if it turns out she does you can ask her out again.

[Aussie Jay]

Thanks for the replies guys & gal - coffee sounds nice & casual.. I want to ask her out - really I do! I think.. Lol! 

Should I attempt contact at work?? Or should I add her on fb & ask that way?? I am a little iffy about adding her on facey as we're not really close you know, like I said we have spoken several times etc & I just don't wanna chase her away! We have a few friends in common on fb (& at work) - should I hit up one of them to see if she is interested?? It's like one minute I want to know & ask her, and the next I don't lol incase it's not what I want to hear!! Argh!! Why can't this be easy!!

*Sigh* I seem to have misplaced my backbone.... If anyone sees my courage - please send that home too! 

j.

[mimpi]

Jay, although I'm like you in that always they've made the move on me I'm convinced that's due to having probably put in the ground work previously to encourage them. You may not be conscious off that but almost certainly it happened in some way. Make her laugh, compliment her in a non heavy but possibly flirty way and give her the chance to let you know if she's interested. It's always women who decide at the end of the day although men like to think otherwise

Take care.

[Natkat]

when there is someone I like but I dont feel like having the nuts to ask them out 2 people, alone then I usunally invite them to something bigger with alot of people..

you got friends in common, good, then add her on face,
and then try set a plan for something where you invite many people to something and invite her as well,

[tekla]

Man up Dude and ask her out for a cuppa or something - it's only coffee, not a commitment.  That's the game, and its the guy that takes the risk.   I'd want to feel out the whole class issue anyway before anything else came up.

[Sharky]

She seems like she is easy going and interested. The majority of people I know aren't really "friends" with everyone they add on facebook. I've hit it off with people I've known casually in a class then would find a friend request from them. I never thought it was weird. Chatting on facebook is an easy way to get to know someone better and even become more than just facebook friends. When you have mutual friends sometimes facebook suggests you add each other, you can always say that happened. You should show interest before she writes you off. Get friendly with her and ask her out. 

[rensie]

I would do what any guy would do just ask her if she would like to hang out one day.  Be relaxed and just toss it out there, don't make it like your proposing to her, just say "Do you want to go for coffee sometime" or if you know she likes jogging say, Maybe we should go for a run some day, theres this cool trail I like to run on.... " and leave the actual day hanging in the air if she appears to hesitate at all. 

She's waiting for yoooooouu to make your moooooooovvve man. Don't blow it by being all shy and stuff.

[Da Monkey]

I think adding her on Facebook would be the first step and asking her for coffee/whatever would be the next. That's just my opinion though.

It's not that odd to add people to Facebook, just say that her name/profile icon thing kept popping up on the side as 'people you may know' so you decided to add her.

[Aussie Jay]

Thanks again guys for the replies.. Think I will add her on facey - like you guys pointed out she does pop up in my 'people you may know' section so I'll just go with adding her and typing a little message saying that and I hope she doesn't mind! And then I guess we'll go from there.. If nothing more I might make a good friend 

Tekla one question, what did you mean by "I'd want to feel out the whole class issue anyway before anything else came up"?? If you could clarify for me mate, cheers!

j.

[Aussie Jay]

Effing facebook!! Lol!! I sent the request expecting to be asked to type a little note and nothing!! So it's gone, no note, no explanation.... Dammit!!!

*Sigh*.. Guess we'll see what we see!!

Dammit!!!!! 

j.

[tekla]

OK, man to man Jay.  I don't see many female doctors who would want a serious relationship with a paramedic.  It would be seen as 'dating down' and lots of women have a hang up about it.  Just like top female lawyers or corporate types are not looking to take up with a janitor or clerk.  Just like Stevie Nicks ain't gonna be dating no stagehand.

[Aussie Jay]

LOL man ok I got ya now!!! One thing I always know is I can depend on you Tekla for the truth!! (I mean that too!)

I think I'm a little higher than a janitor but I get the message dude Will take that on the chin and into consideration..

Cheers again!

[tekla]

Didn't say you were, you were the first example.  I just gave more to make sure the point was made.  On the other hand, the double standard works out that successful men can marry the dumbest, poorest, bimbo they can find, and as long as she's hot, it's OK!  Even a term for it: Trophy Wife.

And hey, I even put myself in there too - but it's not like I'd date Stevie Nicks either, everyone else has already been there.  It's just a fact of life.  That does not mean you should not try.  She may well be the exception.  And even if she's not going to get into that kind of relationship with you, she still might be fun to hang around, or maybe she'd be up for a fling, or she's might have some fine girlfriends to set you up with.

[Aussie Jay]

All good mate I understand! And absolutely if nothing else hopefully I score a friend and like you said who knows if there are other doors that can then open lol!!

Cheers man!

[Cindy]

Geez,

Face book date to a girl who has been flirting with you 
I know many of you youngies think electronic communication is everything. How sad. Next you will never ask a girl out unless the computer program says yes.

S**t , I know I'm in a different generation,  but if I was fishing a guy and he responded to me in that way. DUMP. In every meaning of the word. I have shown my interest, my signals are pretty damn clear, and he plays me as a dating service. he cannot approach me and say do you fancy a coffee. And adds me to FB for a date. How rude.

How about have a coffee and a chat, second date of  a coffee maybe a SMALL flower and the sort of comment that the colour catches her  eyes.

Relationships involve human contact.

Sorry,
Even as an Aussie Sheila I'm astounded

Cindy

[Aussie Jay]

Wow... Cindy thank you for another female perspective. And now I feel like a schmuck!! I would still like to ask her out for coffee in person, I just thought that fb would give me a way in so to speak! Been a while since I've had any interest in anyone - and as I said I'm not used to being the one to ask and put it all out there!

Duly noted though. She is a little old fashioned so makes sense (I'm so not calling you old Cindy! I promise) but she isn't your typical gen X/Yer you know what I am saying?! I guess mostly at the moment I don't know when I am going to see her next as I'm not going to be going to the hospital for the next 2 weeks due to inservice training etc so didn't want to lose any possible momentum I had!! I will be up there Sat/Sun so hopefully she's on!! And I have my backbone by then...

And as a side note - she seemed interested to you in the brief story I wrote?! I'm absolutely stupid when it comes to reading you ladies... And I wasn't entirely sure.

Thanks again Cindy and I will endeavour to redeem myself as best I can!! And I didn't realise you were an Aussie sheila - what part you hail from??

j.