Were you ever Obsessed with being Pretty?

[Suzy]

If everyone accepted me I would still want to be pretty.  However I feel it helps if you are pretty if you have confidence issues.

Sooner or later you have to accept yourself.  It does not sound to me like you have.  You will never get others to accept you if you don't accept yourself.  I am not making light, this is really hard!  I think we all have days when we have a crisis in this area. 

We want to be gorgeous, we want to look like the magazines say we should all look.  It just ain't happening for the overwhelming majority of people.  Just accepting you are, and then doing the best you can with what you have is the only way you are ever going to be happy.  I do agree that there is a connection between being pretty inside and being pretty outside.

Like I said, we all have problems with confidence.  My newest avatar was me a few days ago with almost no makeup, just a bit of concealer and some (not enough) lipstick.  And yes, I went out to shop like that.  I would never have done that 3 years ago. 

Kristi

[wendy]

Sooner or later you have to accept yourself.  It does not sound to me like you have.  You will never get others to accept you if you don't accept yourself.  I am not making light, this is really hard!  I think we all have days when we have a crisis in this area. 

We want to be gorgeous, we want to look like the magazines say we should all look.  It just ain't happening for the overwhelming majority of people.  Just accepting you are, and then doing the best you can with what you have is the only way you are ever going to be happy.  I do agree that there is a connection between being pretty inside and being pretty outside.

Like I said, we all have problems with confidence.  My newest avatar was me a few days ago with almost no makeup, just a bit of concealer and some (not enough) lipstick.  And yes, I went out to shop like that.  I would never have done that 3 years ago. 

Kristi

Thank you Kristy.  You were pretty years ago.  You look nice now.
......................

Got my braces off yesterday.  Almost four years.  My teeth look very pretty.  They look great! 

Had a group meeting yesterday evening and I wore a pretty greenish turquoise tunic, capri jeans,  Mary Jane shoes, nice sterling jewelry with earrings, rings, bracelets and necklaces, hot pink nails, minimal makeup, white, cap, and turquoise pocket book.  I left my house that way and a neighbor or two saw me but I think they might not have known it was me.  I certainly passed in car.  I made it to group meeting and some young males exploring their gender were very complimentary.

After meeting I visited a TG friend that was down on her luck and took her and her boyfriend out for some fried chicken.  I ordered meals with a "soft sweet male" voice.  Servers were all young blacks and they knew but were real nice.  My TG friend had purple hair for an upcoming sci-fi event this weekend and her boyfriend was unshaven grubby.  I actually felt comfortable.

Weird thing is I "sort of" felt like I passed even though I did not.  My face looks "boyish" instead of like an older woman. 

I need to repair broken stuff inside of me.  I need to be willing to make a mistake.

[Suzy]

Thank you Kristy.  You were pretty years ago.  You look nice now.

Well thanks for the compliment....I think.......   Kinda sounds like I am going downhill.  Guess I am at that,  since I will soon be 50.

Got my braces off yesterday.  Almost four years.  My teeth look very pretty.  They look great! 

Congratulations!  I remember what a great confidence booster that was!  Enjoy it, sweetie.  Use that positive momentum.

Kristi

[Steph]

You've always been pretty Kristi

I've never obsessed with being pretty, I knew that wasn't possible but I did my best to look attractive.  However some days I look in the mirror now and I scare myself   Age definitely takes its toll on us but what the heck I earned my wrinkles

[Suzy]

Aww, you are so sweet, Steph.  And are you nuts?? ?? ??  I have seen some smokin pictures of you, girlfriend!

And it is really nice to see you back here! 

[Ashley Allison]

Definitely wanted to be "pretty" throughout my life... Though at the time I thought it was really called "handsome", though I later found out that the real name was "pretty".  I remember being around 8, and my Mom's friends were complimenting me about my hair color.  They said they and others would pay thousands for that color and I loved it; but later I realized that what I was idolizing was the femininity and prettiness of my hair and nothing else.  And in reality, I love it. There are a lot of traits like that besides my hair, but I guess that is one I like.  So I guess, yes, I was obsessed with being pretty.

[AbraCadabra]

Years ago I was taken aback by a gay male friend of a gay friend commenting: .".. but you have such beautiful wrists..!"
Never really forgot THAT and the way it made me feel SO weird, not really embarrassed though.

Will THAT ever happen again?! I do have my doubts :-)

Since he was into my 'boy-guise' it's not actually a missed opportunity... not by far LOL.

Axelle

[Ann Onymous]

Like I said, we all have problems with confidence.  My newest avatar was me a few days ago with almost no makeup, just a bit of concealer and some (not enough) lipstick.  And yes, I went out to shop like that.  I would never have done that 3 years ago. 

So in other words, you worked up the courage to go out wearing more makeup than I probably wore when you and I did lunch (including the work week prior to whatever day that was)?   

Look, the reality is that a majority of women you would see out and about are simply average...period.  The only problems with confidence that should exist is when people overlook that and strive to present an image that is simply NOT them.  Then you get into the whole 'am I wearing too much makeup' or 'should I have worn more.'  Confidence is about attitude and projection...and I am reasonably certain I am not the only one on the board who has more than 20 years in this game who can attest that as you accept the person you are, the more content you can be to simply "be" without trying to meet some contrived standard...

[Jen-Jen]

The way I see it is I want to be able to think "If I was a straight guy I'd totally date myself" which isn't very likely though since I'd have to be shorter and have a cute face but I'll try as hard as I can.

+1 My thoughts exactly!

[ByeBye]

i wanna be the prettiest girl on earth, then teach other girls to be just as pretty as me. <3 

[ByeBye]

and i wanna be a cheerleader it's like what i want to do so much. i seriously wanna join a cheerleading squad! and i wanna make the world a better place. i wanna be an activist!

[xxUltraModLadyxx]

i wanna be the prettiest girl on earth, then teach other girls to be just as pretty as me. <3 

if you believe you are, then that's all you really need 

[wendy]

and i wanna be a cheerleader it's like what i want to do so much. i seriously wanna join a cheerleading squad! and i wanna make the world a better place. i wanna be an activist!

Alyssa you can always be an activist.

If you are high school age you might make cheer leading squad.

My daughter's friend from Columbia entered high school as a boy and was on boy's soccer team.  During summer he visited Columbia and had a breast augmentation and came back to school as a girl.  Coach would not let her on soccer team.  She tried out for girl's lacrosse and was not allowed on that team either.  She was allowed on boy's cross country team.  She was a very pretty girl jogging around with a breast augmentation on boy's cross country team.   

She then was part of fashion shows and dancing in high school and did well in those areas.  She lived as a girl at 15 in 2007.

I live in rather liberal big city and she found it difficult in high school.

Maybe I will be an activist one day.

[Stephe]

It's not just us. I went in for a follow up visit to my FFS surgeon and they were having "wrinkle free Wednesday". About 35 what I considered nice looking women where there lining up for botox, to dscuss eye lifts etc etc. Most were 20 years younger than me. It's natural to want to look pretty.

I would still do all this even if I ended up an ugly woman but thankfully that wasn't needed I don't consider myself "hot" but I do feel I am an attractive woman, that's good enough for me.

[Amaranth]

At times I obsess about getting rid of any hint at masculinity, but after that I don't spend a lot of time working on it to perfection.

[Tammy Hope]

if I were to list all the things I think make me "not pretty" - then lay aside the specific gender things like no breast and the dangly bits and the hair everywhere...

And someone said "I can magically fix ONE of your issues with your appearance" then I'd ask them to take off about 120 pounds and i could work with whatever else I had going or not going for me.

ALL of my "not pretty" issues start first with being way too fat and having - apparently - no ability to conquer that.

[Mahsa Tezani]

Having been part of the Castro guy scene. I was extremely obsessed with being pretty. I think I am now... I want that validation. Even though it isn't that important overall.

[xXRebeccaXx]

I used to be, not so much anymore.