How do people react to you in public when you present in your incorrect sex

[Padma]

I've probably recounted this before, but I had a great moment in my sylph-like 20's walking past a building site in Bristol, in my somewhat androgynous garb, when one of the builders shouted at me "Huhhuh!! I can't tell if it's a boy or a girl!! Huhhuh!!" and calling upon my deep knowledge of the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers, I was able to come back straight away with "Why don't you suck my d**k and find out?" at which point his mates all laughed at him, and I walked on, vindicated and grinning. Of course, they were behind a high fence... do not tease the animals.

Nearly all the trouble I've ever had with teens has been boyteens, girls tend to tease but also want attention/approval, so they're easier to deal with. I got beaten up by six teenboys a few years ago for the crime of not seeming to be a real man (I was riding an electric motorbike - unthinkable).

These days, if I see a group of people (of whatever age) walking towards me that I feel are a potential threat, my way of dealing with it is to imagine them all really happy - it's surprising what a difference that makes to how I engage with them, and how much less trouble I get as a consequence. Fear broadcasts, but so does friendliness. It probably sounds nuts until you try it.

[mimpi]

Lol at the builders!

Electric motorbike? That is not a good look! Just yesterday turned down the offer of a free Peugeot Clic 50 for reasons of style. It wasn't pink either btw...

Edit: If one comes across a really dodgy gang, happens occasionally down here in South London, and one can't avoid them and they are possibly dangerous I try to walk straight at them. Escaped a near certain mugging a couple of years ago doing that.

[kelly_aus]

Edit: If one comes across a really dodgy gang, happens occasionally down here in South London, and one can't avoid them and they are possibly dangerous I try to walk straight at them. Escaped a near certain mugging a couple of years ago doing that.

I've always found the best way to survive in places you perhaps shouldn't be is to look confident and walk around like you own the place..

[mimpi]

I've always found the best way to survive in places you perhaps shouldn't be is to look confident and walk around like you own the place..

Absolutely. The best possible method, works all over the world.

[Jasper]

Haha I agree. Even if it gets you lost, it's better to wait until you're not near any potential threats before you open your map. =P

[RhinoP]

When I socialize as a boy (as I do now), most of the other boys my age think of me as the "group b!tch" aka the loser, the wimp, the guy who isn't experienced, the guy who can't get girls, the guy who's too much a wuss, ect ect. Sucks, cuz when I have confidence, I'm more of a bada$$ than most guys are, like Milla Jovovich in Resident Evil. But in guy mode, my confidence is so low that I always seem so defeated.

[Jayne]

I've been pondering this whilst at work today & I think the negative reactions are due to people projecting themselves onto others, please be patient as I try to elaborate.

One of the people I work with tells us all day after day (on the hour) that everybody that he works with are nasty (enter random swear word here), he told me earlier this year that he hoped we had a heatwave this summer because it would make my excema bad & make me suffer. Since that comment i've had to conclude that he's the nasty person & any good points i've tried to find in his personality are in my imagination.

Another person at work is always joking & happy & he believes that everyone is happy, even when people say something nasty he normaly manages to find something amusing in what they say.

My manager spends more time outside smoking than working & when he does work he does very little, he is often heard saying that all the people under him are lazy.

I've considered most of the people I know & the vast majority try to see their traits in others.
When I came out many of my friends who are comfortable with themselves they felt a need to confide certain things about their past, i've had alot of people tell me that at some time they have known someone of the same sex that they've found attractive & have questioned their sexual orientation, so it would seem that most people can see a bit of themselves in us.

Now if we consider insecure people seeing us in public isn't it possible that they see a part of themselves that they are trying to keep hidden, even from themselves?
Young people are often insecure as they are trying to find their place in life, this may explain why the most extreme reactions are from young people, then if you put these youngsters in a group & add peer pressure it would also explain why it's often groups of youngsters who feel the need to be so vocal about their feelings towards us.

I know my explanation is a bit long winded & full of holes but i've only just started considering all of this, i've not taken into account egos & uneducated views but if I threw them into the mix this would be a 3000 word essay. 

[RhinoP]

It's really a mixed bag of reasons why especially young people and immature people (and some very mature people) don't like us; religious bias, family bias, insecurity, "Ew, that's just gross!" (honestly, I get how they feel, I personally think morbidly obese people are physically pretty gross, no offense to anyone who is or has a family member who is obese, but if you've seen the television shows about 800lbs people, it gets very, very nasty - imagine what some people naturally think of folks who want to chop off their penises.), peer pressure, or simply that it's sometimes easy for us to be the butt of jokes.

However, I think that only insecure transsexuals truly are discriminated or harassed. If someone is a constantly happy, powerful person, anyone around them, even the most passionate bigots, tend to break down and question why they are hating a happy person so much. Now, on par with what I said on another thread about how only 'ugly' or 'non-passing' Trans get picked on, I still stand by that too; I believe that the only Transpeople who are insecure even after a hormonal transition are the ones who are self-concious of their appearance and do need FFS or other improvements to complete the full picture. I believe every Transperson deserves to have a confidence so high that it's unrealistic. No Transperson should shut the door on further confidence options, because if you live life with a subdued persona even after your hormonal transition, society will target you. Whichever way a Transperson can gain a full pot of confidence, they deserve it.

[Rebekah with a K-A-H]

However, I think that only insecure transsexuals truly are discriminated or harassed. If someone is a constantly happy, powerful person, anyone around them, even the most passionate bigots, tend to break down and question why they are hating a happy person so much. Now, on par with what I said on another thread about how only 'ugly' or 'non-passing' Trans get picked on, I still stand by that too; I believe that the only Transpeople who are insecure even after a hormonal transition are the ones who are self-concious of their appearance and do need FFS or other improvements to complete the full picture. I believe every Transperson deserves to have a confidence so high that it's unrealistic. No Transperson should shut the door on further confidence options, because if you live life with a subdued persona even after your hormonal transition, society will target you. Whichever way a Transperson can gain a full pot of confidence, they deserve it.

Sheesh, I don't know.  I still feel insecure about the way I look a good deal, and that's after fourteen months of hormones and FFS, and without any difficulty in passing.

That said, I build confidence by crossdressing, and putting effort into looking like a guy: when I end up failing to pass as male and am instead read as a butch lesbian, it feels pretty validating.

[Mahsa Tezani]

I dressed up like a gay boy once and my gay friends were like, "STOP IMMEDIATELY BEFORE YOU HURT YOURSELF!!!"

[Felix]

When I go as female, which I do somewhat often (food stamp office, religious hospital, other unsafe places), it tends to confuse people. I'm tall for a girl, short for a boy, skinny and flat-chested, clothed generally in jeans and t-shirts, really too androgynous to pass as my true or assigned sex very well.

I did actually notice more homophobia when I was trying to be properly female than when I'm trying to pass as male. I live above several bars, and I've had drunks call me "->-bleeped-<-got" several times when I thought I was presenting as a girl.

When I'm acting like a girl, I feel like males are more willing to look closely or ask about my gender, and more able to quickly adjust. With girls I get funnier looks and more awkward dancing around the issue.