Thank you for posting this. I think a lot of us are ex-ex-trans at some point. That point when we crumple in on ourselves and say, "I just can't do this anymore," or ,"There's something wrong or sinful with me," and go back to coasting, surviving, existing without really living. The idea of "replacement" really rang true with me, as I did some of that as well with religion (before I knew what being trans was).