Phantoms

[Jasper]

So I wasn't really sure where to post this, and I don't mind if it gets moved.

Has anyone else ever felt "phantom" feelings? Like when you're having a dysphoric moment and you feel as if the part/s that are wrong on your body are (fixed)?

It's like if you're doing certain activities (not necessarily sexual) and in the case of FTMs (specifically me haha) you feel as if your dick that's in your head is actually there for a split second and everything gets better. But then you remember it's not, and your world comes crashing back down on you and let's just say...welcome back, dysphoria. I hate you.

I know that sounds horrible but I'm very tired and just wanted to throw my question to the wolves.

If you need clarification for what I'm trying to ask, I will clarify.

[Kentrie]

Unfortunatly, no, I have never had a phantom penis.

[Wolfsnake]

I do! Especially firstt thing in the morning, when I lay on by back. I cannot feel my chesticles, but I can feel the correct junk in the trunk. Then I move, or open my eyes, and it all comes back to reality.

I get a lot of other phantom sensations, too. Whether it's the product of an overactive imagination or something else, I don't really care. It's just part of who I am.

[N.Chaos]

When I'm really, really frustrated, I can almost feel it. I depresses the hell out of me.

[MaxAloysius]

When I packed for the first time, Idid so for about a week, and during that time I did a lot of adjusting (heh) just so that I could feel it there, then I decided to sleep without it. When I woke up the next morning I went to just kinda feel my junk and it wasn't there, and I was flat and I had this horrible feeling for a moment, like something was gravely wrong, then I realised there was nothing there for real. It was intense, because after I worked it all out in my head, I realised that I had been absolutely certain, just for that moment, that I had a real penis. Needless to say, the crushing disappointment afterwards was unbearable.

[Amaranth]

From an mtf perspective, I get that a lot...when I tuck and leave it like that 24/7, it really feels like there's nothing there.  It's the times I undo it that make me think penis + blender = happy.  lol

[Jasper]

Yeah I wasn't quite sure what to call it. Phantom penis? Maybe.

I know it's got nothing to do with something that was injured and removed, so it's not phantom pain. But at the same time, it's not pain either. Just phantom feelings. Like it SHOULD be present (or as Amaranth said, not present).

@Max: I've had these feelings since before I started packing lol weirrrrrd?

@N.Chaos: I've never had the feeling when I'm like super depressed. I've always been in either a great mood or at least kinda happy.


It's interesting that A) there are people having the same feelings as me and B) that they're not completely the same and don't happen around the same times. Any thoughts on that?

[anibioman]

yes i have constant phantom dick but i pack which helps because its there and it transfers force so if something touches it i can feel it. i dont really have that crashing down 'it isnt real' feeling since i began packing.

[Keaira]

When I was a teenager I kind of had that. It was like my body knew it should be growing breasts. I could almost feel them there when I was barely awake. I'd sleep kind of restlessly because of it. out of curiousity I slept in a bra padded with socks and that night I slept like a rock. All I can think is that Because I sleep on my side a lot I either tricked my body or maybe I just needed a teddy bear to snuggle up with. lol

[Natkat]

I once had this dream where I had a penis and a guy where jerking me off,
and I remember I could fell it, so the next day I were extremly happy and wrotte a email to my ex.
"hi today I noticed how it fells when your mastrubate"

he wasnt as happy about it as I was..

[Vincent E.S.]

Heh, I used to get that all the time. When I was just starting puberty, before I supressed all sexual feelings, whenever I got horny, I would feel it. I don't feel it at all when I'm depressed, though, which in a way makes me more depressed because I can't even imagine the possibility of being 'fixed'.

[LivingInGrey]

I'll have to look for the article when I'm around a regular computer but there was one done about "phantom limb" in the trans community.

But when I was younger I had this feeling from time to time that I had breasts though I knew they weren't there... could have been during the time my gynocomastia was starting to develop though.

[Jasper]

I'll have to look for the article when I'm around a regular computer but there was one done about "phantom limb" in the trans community.

But when I was younger I had this feeling from time to time that I had breasts though I knew they weren't there... could have been during the time my gynocomastia was starting to develop though.

That would be really interesting to read! Thanks!!

[Jeh]

I once had this dream where I had a penis and a guy where jerking me off,
and I remember I could fell it, so the next day I were extremly happy and wrotte a email to my ex.
"hi today I noticed how it fells when your mastrubate"

he wasnt as happy about it as I was..

I had a similar dream except I had a penis and a girl was jerking me off. I never realized that maybe I kind of know what it feels like for a guy with a penis to masturbate.

[Wraith]

I've had the "phantom dick" since I was a kid. Sometimes it's been so intense that I could just almost feel it if I moved my hands around there (but this I think is mostly because I've been wishing for it so strongly to be there).

Mostly though it has happened when I really do not expect it. Like when getting horny and for a split second worrying if anyone is going to notice the bulge, and then getting really depressed/dysphoric when I realize what just happened.

[Natkat]

I've had the "phantom dick" since I was a kid. Sometimes it's been so intense that I could just almost feel it if I moved my hands around there (but this I think is mostly because I've been wishing for it so strongly to be there).

Mostly though it has happened when I really do not expect it. Like when getting horny and for a split second worrying if anyone is going to notice the bulge, and then getting really depressed/dysphoric when I realize what just happened.

that the cool thing about being a ftm, you dont need to worry about the boner things if you get in the mood, (however some people have tagget me on facebook where it looks like I have one -__-)

the bad thing is if you see someone really hot and thing,
I wanna f** him/her,  and then remember you dont have anything to do it with... =/
LOL

[LivingInGrey]

Ok, so I didn't have much time in front of the computer today but I did at least find the name of the person and few articles on the study he did.

His name is V.S. Ramachandran, a neurologist and psychologist at UC San Diego and a leading authority on phantom limb sensations (at least he was a few years ago).

Here's a few links to some of the things I've found on it and his study.

http://www.cosmosmagazine.com/news/1648/phantom-genitals-hint-gender-brain?page=0%2C0

http://sandrablakeslee.com/articles/phantom_genitalia_apr08.php

It's also glossed on Wiki for known causes for Transsexualism:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Causes_of_transsexualism

Brain function

Phantom limb syndrome is a common, often painful experience after the loss of an external organ. Ramachandran (2008) found that while nearly two thirds of non-transsexual males who have a penis surgically removed experience the sensation of a phantom penis, only one third of MTF transsexuals do so after sex reassignment surgery. Perhaps more remarkably, two-thirds of FTM transsexuals reported the sensation of a phantom penis from childhood onwards, replete with phantom erections and other phenomena. Ramachandran theorizes that transsexualism is an innate form of phantom limb syndrome involving the mismapping of body regions in the brain.[29]

http://www.ingentaconnect.com/content/imp/jcs/2008/00000015/00000001/art00001?token=003f12b937383a4b3b2570497b595f313838354041522a72752d7b1f73dd4ea


Here is a link to a generic Google search, I didn't have much time to go over this. Most of it talks about post op M2F feeling a phantom penis or post op F2M feeling phantom breasts. If you dig deep enough you'll find articles of pre-op people talking about how they can feel the phantom genitals of there desired gender pre-transition and sometimes all the way through until they finish their transitions.

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=phantom+genitalia+transexual+transsexual+transgender&btnG=Google+Search#sclient=psy-ab&hl=en&source=hp&q=phantom+genitalia+penis+breasts+transexual+transsexual+transgender&pbx=1&oq=phantom+genitalia+penis+breasts+transexual+transsexual+transgender&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&gs_sm=e&gs_upl=380900l383729l0l384146l14l13l0l0l0l2l258l1688l2.8.2l13l0&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&fp=723b082af3d30dd4&biw=1680&bih=853

[Natkat]

it somehow remind me of this video with these 2 guys who have sex with each other even when there not touching each other.