Issues with psychiatrist

[Metroland]

I have a psychiatrist appointment tomorrow and I am really concerned about it.  I have been getting comfortable with being non comforming to gender stereotypes lately and I don't believe that my psychiatrist is comfortable with that.  When we bring up the subject he says that what will people say about his practice if I start expressing myself differently in public.  I am living in a less developed country and it is very conservative here, to say the least.

I am really scared though and I felt that maybe in his office I can at least be able to express myself differently.  He is the only good psychiatrist in town and I need some help right now because I am not feeling well at all.

I am worried that he will reject my gender expression and at the same time I need to see a psychiatrist.  What can I do?

Thanks

[Sevan]

I had a therapist who refused to help me with any gender related issues. After an honest talk she was willing to continue to see me regarding other issues as long as left gender stuff alone.
You may be asked to continue to present as your birth gender...is that ok with you? I know that was going to be too difficult for me, and I quit that therapist.

[Metroland]

Hey Sevan,

Yes I guess for the time being I will continue to present as my birth gender with him.  This is not the first time it happens to me.  I came out to another therapist and when I asked him to call me in my female name he was shocked and started to asking question which showed that he knew nothing about gender identity.  I really don't like rejection and since I am supposed to be open with my psychiatrist, censoring this part of me defeats the purpose of the therapy.

I am not sure if suppressing it will be a good thing. I have lived 25 years this way what will happen if I go on this way?

[Sevan]

I don't know much about your life or country...is there another place where you could express your gender? Like at home, or maybe a support group for trans people?
Would you have another place to seek therapy if this person was unaccepting?
And lastly...just for my own knowledge...do you identify as androgyn or similar non binary, or do you feel more fully female or fully male? (I'm not even certain of your birth gender so I"m not sure which direction your desiring to go in)

[Metroland]

I live in a very backward country (I am even worried to mention where it is so they won't have in issue with me, I know they can trace me through my IP address).

Anything for trans people is non-existant.  I studied abroad, so I had the opportunity to access LGBT resources.  I am not sure if I will find another psychiatrist unfortunately, I have seen many psychiatrists and I don't think they even qualify as psychiatrists. He is the only APA certified one here.  He is really good but I guess that he takes his gender identity for granted and never had to question it.  I guess the problem comes from ignorance rather than transphobia.

I think that gender is personal for everyone. So I am born in a male body but I would like to transition but not all the way to totally female.  I think that gender could be defined by feminine and masculine attributes.  I would like to express myself in a more feminine way. So I guess that I identify as non-binary.

I am happy this time around when I am going to see my psychiatrists, I have this site for support not like the last time when I came out to the other therapist and there was no place for me to go to get validation.

It is a little scary and annoying that I might bot be seeing him anymore.

[mimpi]

I live in a very backward country (I am even worried to mention where it is so they won't have in issue with me, I know they can trace me through my IP address).

Anything for trans people is non-existant.  I studied abroad, so I had the opportunity to access LGBT resources.  I am not sure if I will find another psychiatrist unfortunately, I have seen many psychiatrists and I don't think they even qualify as psychiatrists. He is the only APA certified one here.  He is really good but I guess that he takes his gender identity for granted and never had to question it.  I guess the problem comes from ignorance rather than transphobia.

I think that gender is personal for everyone. So I am born in a male body but I would like to transition but not all the way to totally female.  I think that gender could be defined by feminine and masculine attributes.  I would like to express myself in a more feminine way. So I guess that I identify as non-binary.

I am happy this time around when I am going to see my psychiatrists, I have this site for support not like the last time when I came out to the other therapist and there was no place for me to go to get validation.


Hi Metroland, if you have concerns about your IP address due to where you may be living you could try this: https://www.witopia.net/welcome.php.

Wherever one is developed or so so called developing world psychiatrists are probably much the same on the issues. Their non binary paranoia transcends borders and cultures. You thoughts on the issue are shared by many of us.
It is a little scary and annoying that I might bot be seeing him anymore.

[Sevan]

Thank you for being so willing to answer my questions. I understand not wanting to get too specific about where you are, and that's just fie. I live in a very small area of the US and I don't say where presciently because it's so small and I could be pin pointed easily. (if anyone were so inclined...being from the US it may just be paranoia on my part, but I'm hearing what your saying about your situation.)

You do have us for support this time. Though, would it help any to perhaps, print out some basic information about gender for your psych? Maybe a basic FAQ could help him to know that there are many others like yourself, and that your gender identity/expression is not in need of "fixing" but issues that come up around it do need his support and maybe help. I hope he would be open to such literature.

[Metroland]

I came back from the psychiatrist visit.  It was very uncomfortable and I barely said a thing.  I was very restrictive in what I said because I was worried that he would say something that would hurt me.

I had on a bracelet that has some pink lines on it.  I wanted to wear it because I really want to wear it in public but I am afraid so I wanted to see if he would react to it or say something.

I saw that he was looking at it but didn't say anything.  So towards the end of the session I asked him what he thought about me wearing the bracelet.  He had a long pause as if not knowing what to say and he was like it is alright, that I can wear whatever I wanted. I was like yeah right, and told him that he didn't answer my question. So he thought for a bit and then he said that people might think that I am gay because of the pink lines.

I am not sure what he was thinking but I guess it was not very supportive.

So this was how it went. We talked about a couple of other things but we did not bring up gender identity a lot.  I mentioned that he was not comfortable with it and then I apologized because I didn't want to pressure him into a certain idea.

I am not sure if I will see him again.

[mimpi]

Hi Metroland, I replied to your psychiatrist thread last night but for some reason my post has disappeared leaving only where I quoted you. I'll try not to be paranoid and assume there was a computer error and it was nothing to to with the link concerning how to get around your IP address concerns. So here's the link again and it's been highly recommended by users in PRC, IRI and KSA on another forum I post on: https://www.witopia.net/welcome.php

Out of curiosity I'll post it gain as well after PM'ing you this message and see if it stays up

Psychiatrists are the same world over, I've worked in mental health and have a close friend who still does and is daily contact with them. Don't assume it's just down to where you live that is the cause of the issues where you live. Repression of gender variation is universal and even among gender specialised psychiatrists there is a generally a hard line attitude towards deviances from their own personal concepts of gender expression and gender roles.

Take care, Mimpi

[Metroland]

Hey mimpi,

I like your nick  .  Yeah I know I lived abroad for a while and I saw a couple of therapists but never got any closer to knowing my gender.  The good thing abroad is that there are options.

I read your previous post and now got your link.  Don't worry I don't think that it has to do with IP issues. I try to use proxies as much as possible.

Thanks

[mimpi]

Hey mimpi,

I like your nick  .  Yeah I know I lived abroad for a while and I saw a couple of therapists but never got any closer to knowing my gender.  The good thing abroad is that there are options.

I read your previous post and now got your link.  Don't worry I don't think that it has to do with IP issues. I try to use proxies as much as possible.

Thanks

Thanks, my old nick elsewhere used to be mimpi buruk!

Selamat datang

[RhinoP]

Not sure why you're going to therapy, this guy doesn't sound like he'd get a 1,000 miles near a recommendation letter!

And basically, if you're not chasing a letter, you really don't have a reason to be in a therapists office. Anything that can happen in a therapist's office for $100 can happen with a good old mindset of daring to chase exactly what you dream, no matter what type of society or family you're surrounding yourself with. Either you aren't open-minded enough to go forward with your personal life choices, or you need to move to a place that accepts your goals peacefully, however tough it may be to make that choice. It's really all that a discriminatory therapist would have to say, he's not going to hold your hand and provide and solution for your personal needs; that is, unless your needs are conformity.

For example, say you're confused on your gender. A proper therapist would say "Well, just dress and express however you want for now, find exactly what makes your day filled with permanent joy - hold nothing back and care less what others think, you deserve equality." If you live in a place where that type of expressionism isn't even promoted by therapists, it's probably time to pack up the bags. Your life really will go nowhere unless you're able to take control; the only thing a discriminatory therapist will do is stall you and congratulate you on being as depressed in life as he and his other patients are. You really have to find your own way, and if you feel that other genders are for you, the only place where you'll be able to peacefully and happily test the waters in a realistic way is to find a society that accepts it.

Now, of coarse I'd say it's a possibility to stay where you're at and go in stealth mode, sneaking around to bars where people wouldn't possibly know you and such, but unless you have a therapist to share that with, it makes it seem sneaky and that can really interfere. It's really better just to cut all ties and get an excuse to go some place else for awhile; unless, say, you have a crush on someone in your residence area  .

[Metroland]

RhinoP,

You don't know me so I am not sure how you can say that I am not open minded enough to go forward with my personal life choices.

Therapy is important for everyone.  It doesn't necessarily have to do with gender identity.  There are mental health issues that people seek psychiatrists and therapists for.

Thanks for your thoughts

[noeleena]

Hi,

Not knowing your county,    tho i know some are hard rock faced & im not talking about hills .

We in New Zealand are more open & are accepting of others in the main.

& yes not just Pychs tho in the main they will treat you in a normal  manner & way.

The difference for myself,  im all out  there meeting 1000's of people & talking to many. we do have a freedom here Austraila as well. been there & meet many people & not just trans people .

My story is out there for any one to read  just put my name on the net..  07  june /  july.
 
Through   other forums im on we do have contacts around the world . & we may have some near you , so if youd like to email me  please do.. tho that opens your self up ,   As i know your very guarded, concerning out side contact. & i know why.

Ill P M  you with my details ,

If for any reason my email. or details dont get to you heres mine   & all the best,

Hugs,

noeleena@clear.net.nz

...noeleena...