Why "Can't" You Transition?

[Kate]

like yvonne, i [used to] think that suicide was a sign of cowardice as well , now i know that it's a [valid] choice; transition is difficult, we sacrifice our family, our friends, our jobs; some can't cope with the loss and see suicide as their [only] way out.

Agreed, I don't see suicide as cowardice either. In my case, I haven't lost anything - yet. Family, friends and work know who I am and what I'm doing, but they haven't faced the practical reality of it yet. We'll see. But I *could* cope with those losses, I do believe.

The only loss I know I could NOT cope with is the loss of the chance to live the rest of my life as the woman I was meant to become.

Kate

[Yvonne]

lol, you could sugar coate it  with nice, inspiring words, but there's only one answer., suicide equals cowardice, so much so that it you believe that it's a valid choice, you shouldn't be posting here because it's a safety hazard for the rest of the members.

[taru]

There seems to be a sentiment to paint suicide as evil and not-a-choice to protect people. It would be nice to be able to discuss this on a philosophical level without mixing personal feelings/protection into it.

Hurting people is not nice and both suicide and transition can do that. Then again the amount of hurt can be lessened by taking precautions etc.

Doing things in desperation is not courageous. Thinking about things and choosing a way forward in a difficult situation is courageous - whether the way happens to be transitioning, suicide or something entirely else.

[Yvonne]

I think that if you're on the verge of choosing suicide, why not do something crazy that might divert it? Move to another city or something on the spur of the moment. Become an organic farmer. Open up a comedy club. Heck, you could even become a vigilante or a pirate or live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

Whatever you do, however outlandish it may be, is better than being dead.

Good advice!  Suicide is for those who are cowards and dont want to take a chance at life.  I don't have any sympathy for those who choose to kill themselves instead of facing what life has stored for them.  ~ sighs~

[Stormy Weather]

...there's only one answer., suicide equals cowardice

Oh really? How about euthanasia? Does that fit neatly into your scheme of things?

Suicide may be many things but the idea that suicide equals cowardice is so far from the truth, so blinkered and so uncompassionate. I would also disagree that it's somehow selfish... and no-one is advocating it here either.

If only life's issues could be seen in such black and white terms.

[Yvonne]

...there's only one answer., suicide equals cowardice

Oh really? How about euthanasia? Does that fit neatly into your scheme of things?

Suicide may be many things but the idea that suicide equals cowardice is so far from the truth, so blinkered and so uncompassionate. I would also disagree that it's somehow selfish... and no-one is advocating it here either.

If only life's issues could be seen in such black and white terms.

  Yes, REALLY.  if you have a choice other than to subject your body to be eaten by maggots, you should choose life.  suicide equals cowardice; you were smart; otherwise, why are you here complaining? Verdammte alte Kuh!

[Stormy Weather]

  Yes, REALLY.  if you have a choice other than to subject your body to be eaten by maggots, you should choose life.  suicide equals cowardice; you were smart; otherwise, why are you here complaining? Verdammte alte Kuh!

Firstly, I don't appreciate being insulted, whether it's in German or not. It's not the way things work around here. So please don't make a habit of it.

Secondly, I'm not complaining and this isn't about me; I've never come near committing suicide but friends of mine have killed themselves, not transexuals, just unhappy and young people who overdosed on the tablets that were supposed to keep them safe.

I noticed you avoided and side-stepped the issue of euthanasia, preferring to insult me instead— nice going. Welcome to Susan's.

[Julie Marie]

Each and every one of us has different upbringings, different issues, different agendas and different views on life.  There is no one way that works for all.  No matter how you see life, until you live in the shoes of another, you can't know what they are experiencing.

Yes, we have the power to change but that is a process that doesn't happen overnight.  Kind of like transitioning.

This thread was intended to ask what are the reasons that have prevented you from transitioning, not to become a debate about what suicide is or isn't.  There's a thread entitled "Suicide" in which those things should be discussed.  Please use it if further discussion is needed.

And please, whatever your own experiences and views are, do not disrespect the experiences and views of other members.

Thank you,
Julie
Susan's Staff Member

[KarenLyn]

Thank you Julie. A much needed interjection.

Karen Lyn

[Dennis]

I second that, and I would add that personal attacks, even if they are in a language other than English, are against the site rules.

Dennis

[Ricki]

Thanks for the kind words and inspiration Julie, much appreciated.
I do not even wanna go towards any of that suicide discussion. Lot of emotion there.
Ricki

[Fer]

I had many excuses but ultimately I decided to take the risk and I\'m glad I did.  I\'m much happier as a person now than I ever was.

[Lucy]

My excuse not is my wife, if only I had have realised earlier then it would have been a different matter altogether. I wish I could turn the time back 15 years and have done something about it what I first new. May people here have many stories about why they delayed transitioning, but Im very pleased they are happier now.

Good luck to you all
luv lucy

[Andrew]

This is off-topic, but:

Julie Marie! Brianna! Alice! Nice new pictures! Very cute!

[fluffy jorgen]

my reason?
everything inbetween i could deal with.

how do i present myself to the psychiatrists/ doctors/ surgeons?
how do i explain it so they agree? what will i do if they don't agree?

[KarenLyn]

my reason?
everything inbetween i could deal with.

how do i present myself to the psychiatrists/ doctors/ surgeons?
how do i explain it so they agree? what will i do if they don't agree?

How well do you know yourself? If you are fully self assured in how you feel, they will have no choice but to agree with you. And even if they are foolish enough not to agree, your own feelings will carry you through that.

my 2¢ worth

Karen Lyn

[Schala]

Those are the words of my therapist, back when I first started seeing her.  Very true, but also very sad.

I "couldn't" transition for a number of reasons:
1. I"ll never pass.
2. I'll be rejected by my family.
3. I'll be rejected by my friends.
4. I'll be a freak in society.
5. I don't have the courage.
6. I can live okay without transitioning.

1. I'll never pass - Yeah I thought that for a long while, probably the biggest reason I delayed it.
2. The second biggest reason, given I felt I would die if I didn't transition, it didn't stop me for long. I threatened suicide and went totally apathetic on a number of occasions.
3. I had no friends
4. Heh...I was already a freak of society.
5. Nah, I had the courage, only the other reasons stopped me.
6. Never. It was suicide or transition, I knew that the second I even read about transsexualism. It took me time to decide to give life a shot. I'm a reincanationist...so I thought it might be better to wait for a new life, and just die now (no way I'd wait a natural death).

Ah yes, note that I already had planned on suicide long before I knew about transsexualism or intersex. I figured this life was over, done with, no value anymore, and found nothing of interest...and then found out about it, by luck.

[fluffy jorgen]

my reason?
everything inbetween i could deal with.

how do i present myself to the psychiatrists/ doctors/ surgeons?
how do i explain it so they agree? what will i do if they don't agree?

How well do you know yourself? If you are fully self assured in how you feel, they will have no choice but to agree with you.

I know myself well enough to say I'm no good at explaining what's inside me and I often confuse people when trying to do so, thus I've given up explaining anything.
I'm kind of avoiding the whole issue, but slowly starting to realize that won't do me no good in the long run.

[lisagurl]

Once is enough.

[Jordan]

The only thing holding me back right now, is my current life.

5 months from now, that will change.  I hope...