OCD

[Krisstina]

I have never realize how much time I put in to how I look until I started participating in this forum. I started watching what I was doing and how my thought process was working, well because susans makes you think some.

A couple of days ago I had a lot to do outside the house and I hadn't been out in a few days and when I first popped into public I noticed all my attention was on reading the reads over and over again, confirming and reconfirming that I pass. (how tired is that)

Wow I did not realize that about myself. I didn't see I was spending an incredible amount of energy trying to know what other people think when I could have been enjoying my day.

What a waist I thought! After all I already spend time exercising, fighting wrinkles, taking hormones, doing my  face, hair, body ect. every darn day so I should be able to just have fun when I go out.

Anyway thanks for listening to my rant I think in the future I am going to try and be more secure and also not put so much stock into what total strangers think of me.

Thanks,
Kristina
 

[Ricki]

That was great!  A perfect example of good things that can come out of this group! 
good luck
Ricki

[Melissa]

I understand.  Many times I will find myself doing the same thing.  A lot of times I will just assume somebody has read me.  Like today at the bank I have been going there since before I went fulltime and I changed my name and everything with them at this branch.  Well I went to go talk to a banker I had conferred with previously and we were talking about loans and such and I mentioned that I was in the middle of a divorce.  When he referred to my ex as my ex-husband I was pretty shocked and realized I hadn't been read after all.  I relaxed my voice and everything too because I thought they had read me.  Maybe I need to stop worrying a whole lot less too.

Melissa

[Krisstina]

Yes it is time to relax and enjoy. There was certainly A time when I couldn't do that, as early on in transition I was always read it wasn't tell the last couple years that things started to turn around for me.

Maybe thats why I am so hyper actively reading the reads and still doing what I did in the beginning. I think in my mind I still don't pass all though the facts in lately suggest I do.

Thanks for you input!!!!!


Kristina

[Ricki]

I get read to, yes really presenting as male does not always hide the inside my hand gestures, my speech or tone, my walk or something but i seem to get read as gay not transgendered...
darn stupid people out there