Quote from: sictransitkira on September 27, 2011, 02:30:21 PM
So I'm 26, and have been struggling with my gender identity for as long as I can remember. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and came out to my girlfriend of 5 years. She is completely supportive and loves me for who I am, not what I am, and is helping me tremendously. She's also a hairdresser and excellent make up artist. I'm pretty fortunate in that I'm skinny, and not super masculine in build. I also have very little facial hair. Now for the difficult part, I feel as though I truly should have been a girl and it's constantly on my mind, but when it comes to dressing and getting into that role I am very sexually aroused by it. I know most transgendered people are going to read that a scream fetishist, but I really think it's deeper than that. Any advice on how to get past this and begin to get serious and pursue transitioning? I plan on starting with a counselor as soon as fiscally possible, but I really want to be able to start experimenting with dressing and my potential appearance as a female, and it's a pretty difficult thing to do when aroused.
Hi there S.
You're of a similar age to me. When I was 26 I started seeing a therapist, had been with my girlfriend for 5 years and also felt like I couldn't stand pretending to be a boy anymore.
You have an awesome girlfriend! Both for the emotional support and the practical hair and makeup advice she can give. That's really cool and I'm totally jealous.
Don't let the arousal fool you. Many many many XY women here were initially aroused when first dressing as women. I think it's the case that if you only dress to be aroused then it is a sexual thing by nature but my hunch is that for you the arousal is there but it is underpinned by a strong, intrinsic identification as a woman.
The best advice, as already mentioned, is just be honest about it with your therapist. But like I said, it's not evidence that you aren't gender dysphoric.
Now to answer your question, my advice is to keep going. The more you experiment dressing, socializing and talking about your gender dysphoria the less aroused you'll become. As others have mentioned, it is somewhat arousing feeling pretty and finally presenting as yourself and having male levels of testosterone running through your body, but over time as you do it more I think you'll start to concentrate on the non sexual aspect of it.
So, in short, don't let it bother you, it doesn't undermine the legitimacy of your gender dysphoria, experiment like you said you wanted to and over time it will become easier.
Also, you may wish to buy some undergarments that will keep it down and search for advice on tucking.
