I feel like I'm going to explode

[JackieOD]

I need to vent for a bit. So here goes.
I feel like I've reached the point where nothing I do matters anymore. I am so exasperated. There is nowhere to turn. For at least five years now I've been searching for some kind of support and this whole time I've been feeling like I've been getting closer and closer to a breakthrough. I started seeing a counselor and a support group. I kept on with my daily routines for skin care, voice training, shaving, etc. But I'm not kidding anyone. I'm not going anywhere. I've been in the same spot since I was fifteen. And I just want to give up.
I'm not saying that I'm having any second thoughts about wanting to go through with transition. On the contrary, I feel more like it's imperative to my happiness and wellbeing every day. I'm not so naive to think that I can just abandon one of the biggest parts of what makes me who I am. But I have struggled so goddamn much, and I'm running out of steam.
Although I'm not losing sight of my goals, I'm losing sight of my means to get there. I have no support. The support group I mentioned earlier is for gay men and no matter how sympathetic they may be, they can't offer me anything more than pat on the back and a little insight. Which is great, but I really need to be talking to other people who understand this and can help motivate me or offer suggestions that make sense.
In order to get electrolysis I'm going to have to move. I've been trying to finance electrolysis for a few years now and I'm just going insane over the fact that it seems as though there's nothing I can do to get there. I'm suffering some serious roadblocks keeping up my motivation to do voice training. Most days I don't wake up until I have to go to work because I don't see the point. I've lost all of my ambition.
I need a friend.

[Tristan]

for the electrolysis have you tried a local comunity college. sometimes they will do it dirt cheap cuz of the students

[JackieOD]

I haven't, but the problem isn't completely about money. I've been warned on several occasions not to bother with inexperienced electrologists or ones who have no prior experience with ts clients 
Of course, if that's just an unjustified fear on my part I would love to be corrected. Haha.
Have you or someone you've known had success with that?

[JackieOD]

Another thing I was wondering is if there's a good way to get to know people well on this site. I think more than anything I just need to be connected with people I can talk to.

[Cindy]

Another thing I was wondering is if there's a good way to get to know people well on this site. I think more than anything I just need to be connected with people I can talk to.

Yep, post, and talk and be friendly and guess what? People do the same back

Hugs
Cindy

[Maegan]

Hi Jackie,

As Cindy has said, post and talk to us. We all have an ear to lend out if you want to talk, and a shoulder to cry on, should you feel that way. Susans is one big happy family.

Huggs

Maegan

[jainie marlena]

There ain't even a gay support group where I live. Lol. I have been coming to susan's for sometime. I have all the support I need here. Every where I go I am myself I feel like everyone at sasan's is with me. You would not believe the things that I have gotten through because of these ladies. I would not trade them for anything. Stick around and you will see what I mean.

[JessicaH]

Why do you need a "support group" to make progress? Find a therapist, get on HRT and live your life. If there isn't a qualified therapist or medical support in your area, move. 

There is no one better qualified to take care of your needs than you. Sit down, make a plan of action and get at it. Where do you live, BTW? I hear people say there aren't resources around all the time and I can find stuff for them fairly quickly.

[caitlin_adams]

Laser is a great (and in my opinion preferable) alternative to electrolysis.

As long as it's laser and not IPL and as long as your technician is relatively experienced (laser requires a lot less operator skill than electrolysis) and as long as you have relatively dark hair and relatively light skin laser rocks.

11 sessions and no '5 o'clock shadow'. There's about 20 dark hairs that grow about 3 weeks after my treatment. The results for me have been great. I paid $AUD70 which is roughly $USD70 per session and the place and technician were very professional.

[tekla]

Why do you need a "support group" to make progress?

Excellent question.

[Cindy]

Why do you need a "support group" to make progress?

Excellent question.

Because some people are afraid and nervous and need someone to tell them that life is pretty good. You know hard nosed bitches like you and I to offer sympathy and love.

Cindy

[Louise Scott]

Joining on line forums like this are a  big hel and have been for me, theres always someone here you can talk too 

When I am feeling at my lowest I have come on line, and someone has always been there to cheer me up and give me hope

[JessicaH]

Because some people are afraid and nervous and need someone to tell them that life is pretty good. You know hard nosed bitches like you and I to offer sympathy and love.

Cindy

Just gotta love you Cindy!  :-)   I have recieved a tremendous amount of support and education from this forum but I have zero interest in going to a face to face support group and hang out with others in person. It just seems that the other MtFs that I have met in person that I didn't build a relationship online first, were total wrecks and the only comonality that we shared was GID.

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Jackie,
Now for the good news. You are at the right place; at the right time. There is a big family here, waiting for you. We are your friend. All the SRS and electrolysis in the world won't make Jackie. It only completes her. Maybe you've been trying too hard for too long. Could be time to stop, smell the roses and get reacquainted with Jackie. We would love to meet her. I can see she is a beautiful person even without electrolysis. Till next time, be safe, well and happy.
Lotsa luv
Catherine

[JackieOD]

Thank you everybody! I guess for some reason I've always had it in my head that a support group was something I needed to find, but you make a very good point. See, this is why I need to have people to talk to! XD
I will definitely be more active on the forums. It's been helpful just to read through them. Haha.
And I live in Duluth, MN, btw. I've been thinking about moving to Minneapolis, but that wouldn't be for at least another year and I really don't feel like I can wait that long for electrolysis 

[JessicaH]

Arrowhead Transgender Group
A social and support group. "We are simply a bunch of people who share a gift for enhanced gender expression and wish to share it with others.
Duluth - Superior and surrounding area
Phone: (218) 722-8585
www.Arrowheadtg.org

Minnesota
DR. ERIC MEININGER, MD, MPH, SAINT PAUL, MINNESOTA
435 Phalen Boulevard, Saint Paul, Minnesota - (651) 265-7308
Flying_Cat@->-bleeped-<-:

He is willing to prescribe to minors with parental consent

Clinic atmosphere is a bit of a downer

Make sure to double check his doses against the Waddell centre health protocols since occasionally he
does get clumsy when converting between pills and inject able doses.

[Cindy]

Arrowhead Transgender Group
A social and support group. "We are simply a bunch of people who share a gift for enhanced gender expression and wish to share it with others.
Duluth - Superior and surrounding area
Phone: (218) 722-8585
www.Arrowheadtg.org

Minnesota
DR. ERIC MEININGER, MD, MPH, SAINT PAUL, MINNESOTA
435 Phalen Boulevard, Saint Paul, Minnesota - (651) 265-7308
Flying_Cat@->-bleeped-<-:

He is willing to prescribe to minors with parental consent

Clinic atmosphere is a bit of a downer

Make sure to double check his doses against the Waddell centre health protocols since occasionally he
does get clumsy when converting between pills and inject able doses.

That sounds like professional negligence. And is a worry.
Sorry

Cindy

[JoanneB]

In the past, I always shied away from support groups. First was the wanting to be "normal" factor, second was most seemed to be more oriented towards TVs (my impression). After moving from just across the bay from NYC to the boonies of WV I learned the meaning of being alone as well as what a fish out of water must feel like. Long story short, after a short time emotionally I was a wreck and of course much could be traced back to my gender issues.

Perhaps I was fortunate to land where I am and find the only TG group "nearby", some 90 miles away in Hagerstown, MD to check out for support. It has been a life changing, and life enriching experience in many ways. I've been told by members more from the Wash/Balt areas the group is quite unique both in the makeup of its members and its format. I never thought I needed a group. I thank God often for sending me to them.