Leonie

[Leonie]

Hi girls
I'm Leonie
a "(I don'T know something between crossdresser/transsexual/intersexual)"
My physical  Gender is "male"
but to clarify this for me
I registered in this forum to get more help and maybe find people like me
So I'm from Germany so sry for my bad gramatics.
i'm 20 years old.
It all started when I was about 13-14
I went till I was around 17-18 and it reduced alot but nowdays it rises again so i thought look on the internet for help.
Leonie

[Padma]

Na Leonie, und wilkommen zu Susan's! We're a diverse and friendly bunch here (the head count is over 8400) - get into things as slowly or as quickly as you feel comfortable, I'm sure you'll find plenty of support here.

It's fine to not have a fixed idea of who you are, let yourself play with your sense of self and see who arises. And don't worry about your English, there are plenty of people here for whom English isn't their first language - und auch jedenfalls, hier spricht man (ziemlish) Deutsch .

And be sure to check out these links for the bobby on the house rules:

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
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[Lynn]

Welcome Leonie!

You will find a lot of support here!
And don't worry about your English, it's fine!

[Leonie]

Thanks for the nice welcome
Leonie

[Leonie]

thanks but before
i take real live help
I wanna ask some people online because
As i can live as a male only with sometimes the thinking why can't i bee beautiful like that
I don'T know how a psychologist can help me because he would call me gay or a cd what i am not.
please don'T be angry but only tell me what you think must not be the whole truth
Leonie

[Lynn]

thanks but before
i take real live help
I wanna ask some people online because
As i can live as a male only with sometimes the thinking why can't i bee beautiful like that
I don'T know how a psychologist can help me because he would call me gay or a cd what i am not.
please don'T be angry but only tell me what you think must not be the whole truth
Leonie

I believe that's only true if you go to a psychologist that doesn't know how to deal with these kinds of issues. It's VERY important to seek out someone that either has experience working in this area, or is accepting of it if you can't find one with experience. If you can't find the information online about a certain psychologist, you could try calling in and ask if he/she can help with gender issues. A phone call is mostly anonymous so there would be no danger in outing yourself to someone you might not trust if you're worried about that.

A forum can only help so much. We can be supportive and give advice where needed, but nothing will ever be as helpful as seeking professional help.

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Leonie,
And welcome to Susan's. There is lots of good reading and reference material here that can help you determine who you are.
Perhaps you may have been a bit quick to put down psychologist in general. Pretty well most good gender psychologist do not tell you what you should be. Their primary job is to help you sort out who you are, so you can decide, who you are.
Basically, you know who you are, better than anybody else. They can only assist in helping you to be the person you want to be. You may be plesantly surprised how they can help.
Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa luv
Catherine

[Annah]

as I posted in your other thread, no one here can really give you the concrete answers you seek as only you know who you are. With the help of a gender therapist, he or she can help you put these pieces together.

If you speak to a gender therapist they can help you because right now we have no idea if you are a crossdresser, transsexual, etc. You probably aren't intersex as (for most cases) you would already know that. Also, a medical doctor can test you, genetically, for intersex traits.

[Leonie]

A I know what you mean youd didn't get what I meant
it mean with what I am ist talking about my wishes and talk to other who feel the same learn how other deal with it
a gender therapist I think would call me gay or a fetishist
as I told i learned to feel fine as a man as the male gender is more nearer to what i am.
My personal theory is that my male image of beauty "girls" and the wish of a girlfriend that i didn't had till today and maybe
a male to intersexual thinking being made these wishes.
Talking and self thinking with people like me is i think better than going to a therapist who also only can speak and this psychological problem must be solved by me and if you or the therapist is talking i think people like me are more understanding
and also a person like me i read years before was told she was gay and that didn't matched
Thanks for the advice but don't need a therapy i just need to talk.
Because tlaking and self thinking made the reduce of the wish possible and so i  wanna restart talking
leonie

[Leonie]

I know you want the best
but what should a therapist do talking
and I think they would call me fou
if i wanna explain my problem
and to go to the therapist means outing and if i could solve that by talkign and looking for people feel same and how they solved it
because how this sounds yes sometimes i think I wanna look like that girl but i feel like a normal guy i feel fine like a guy
i'm just a bit more feminine but still a normal male

sry but I have no answer how to tell other people than the people like me

Leonie

[Annah]

A I know what you mean youd didn't get what I meant
it mean with what I am ist talking about my wishes and talk to other who feel the same learn how other deal with it
a gender therapist I think would call me gay or a fetishist

A gender therapist would not call you a gay or a fetishist unless you told them that is how you feel. And you stated you never seen a therapist for it so you really do not know they will call you that. I think that is your own fears of what may happen.

as I told i learned to feel fine as a man as the male gender is more nearer to what i am.
My personal theory is that my male image of beauty "girls" and the wish of a girlfriend that i didn't had till today and maybe
a male to intersexual thinking being made these wishes.

Traditional Intersex is more of a physical medical condition versus a mental or internal feeling of things.

Talking and self thinking with people like me is i think better than going to a therapist who also only can speak and this psychological problem must be solved by me and if you or the therapist is talking i think people like me are more understanding
and also a person like me i read years before was told she was gay and that didn't matched
Thanks for the advice but don't need a therapy i just need to talk.
Because tlaking and self thinking made the reduce of the wish possible and so i  wanna restart talking
leonie

I understand that but in all reality we do not know you ...even if you post a lot here. I could have 4000 posts here and no one could truly know how I feel.

A gender therapist can sit with you and sort out the things you are going through. They can help you find the answers you seek or try to.

We are here as a community to talk to one another....not to have us figure out who you are and where you stand. That would be extremely unethical for me to even try to do that because I am not there to see you or to talk or hang out with you...and even if I was there, I would still say the same thing.

If you struggle with the identity of who you are, there is no shame in seeing a therapist. I saw a therapist. She never once made me feel threatened or offensive. She helped me to rediscover who I am and helped me take the steps to get to that point.

In any case, I do wish you the best!

Annah

[Leonie]

ok thanks
for the answers sound right
ill gonna think about
leonie

[Devlyn]

Hi Leonie, it's nice to meet you! I'm glad you joined us, this is a great bunch of people. See you around, hugs, Tracey

[Lynn]

Leonie  I'd just like to add to what Annah said up there, that seeing a therapist doesn't mean you're some crazy person that's sick. I know some people may think that but it's really not the case. Their job is to help and guide you along in reaching your true path. They help you to put all your thoughts in the right order and attempt to get rid of any confusion you may be having.

It's not your, or anyone's fault that you are who you are, but the worst thing you can do is deny who you are, as that will only cause you to feel miserable in the long run. Even if it does feel like you can cope with it right now.
You say you're certain that you're male, but with some feminine aspects. That's fine if that's what you are, but you need to make sure to ask yourself if that IS who you are. If the answer is a clear "YES, that's who I am!", then everything is likely fine. However if you have any doubt in your mind on if that's really the case, then I highly suggest trying to really figure it out.

Acceptance of oneself is the key to everything. You can't make other people happy without being happy yourself first.

[Leonie]

thanks for the tipps
Leonie

[Leonie]

After a long thinking
I rethought my thinkings and checked that i think
is self made but constantly in low feelings
and that i feel fine beng a  man.
Maybe i will find the reel wish behind it but for that i need to think more.
Leonie