tempted to come out to a few people. tips/ideas?

[El Capitan]

alright mates?

I've been invited to a house party tonight and all of the people there will be people i have lived with for a year but haven't seen for a while (last year to be specific). Now, I have given clues over that year as to my gender uncomfiness but as I'm still figuring myself out I've never outwardly said anything about being trans.

I have been having urges recently to just come out and bloody say it.  I'm so tempted to say somehting tonight but I'm not sure of the best way to go about it. That's where I need your help folks 

i'm not even sure if I will go through with it but I'm so sick of having to keep it under wraps and pretend i don't mind being referred to by female pronouns and such.

I think I'm thinking of it as a kind of stepping stone to coming out to my new flatmates and maybe even family/ close friends

I dunno ..

[Felix]

I'm still fine-tuning the coming out process in my own life, but I feel like I botched it with some of the earliest people I told. I was open first with close loved ones and health care professionals. It didn't occur to me that anyone would be disgusted or angry, but some of them were. I'm more careful to scout people out now, to get a feel for their beliefs and inclinations about gender and sexuality.

But then there have been a couple people I kind of just blurted it out to, having gotten so fed up with playacting as a girl.

I don't know what you should do. If you do tell anybody who doesn't like it, don't take it personally or try to change them. Sometimes they'll come around with time. I've agonized too much about how to explain that I'm the same person, that being who I am makes me happy, etc.

[xAndrewx]

If you do tell anybody who doesn't like it, don't take it personally or try to change them. Sometimes they'll come around with time.

This is so true. Some people won't like it some people might come around in time though. Honestly I felt better after telling even the people who had problems with it because I felt like my work was done and if they did not accept, it I had done what I had to and told them, wasn't my problem anymore.

Honestly it depends on your relationship with these people. I mean if it were my friends I would just be like "yo, ya know how I don't act like a chick? It's because I'm not one. I'm a dude, cool?" The biggest thing I've found is to try to make the person realize that you love and respect them but their (potentially) negative opinion will not affect who you are and who you are going to be. And if it goes well, then be supportive and say thank you. Expect a lot of questions but I'm sure you know that.

Sorry not much advice considering the huge amount of ramble above. Good luck!

[Arch]

Are you sure that a party is a good place to do this? The thing is, most of us want as much control as we can get over the situation. A party sounds like a potential disaster. I'm not expecting you to jump up on a table and yell, "Hey, everyone, I'm trans!!!" but even coming out to one person or a couple at a time sounds problematic.

[Sharky]

Unless you're throwing the party I don't think it's the right place.

[El Capitan]

thanks for the replies. sorry, I shouldn't have said houseparty as it was more of a small gathering playing poker and having a few drinks/ snacks, I was writing quickly before leaving so didn't really stop to think about what i was writing.

In the end, I didn't say anything. Well, apart from when someone wanted to take photos of a few of us on the sofa and said 'girls on the sofa get in the picture!' I grumbled to myself 'I'm not a girl blabla bla' the girl next to me heard and said 'people on the sofa  '

I forgot how much I hate being introduced to new people (with my obviously female name and wrong pronouns)

Very very dysphoric last few days and this gathering didnt really help. On the plus side, it was good to see them all again

[Felix]

Your grumbling was still pretty tough and probably useful. These little hints can sometimes move mountains.