Is anyone else in open transition?(M2F or F2M)

[Bird]

I am transitioning at university and there is a huge amount of people who know.

I don't know what was the question at the topic sorry Anyway, most people have been supportive, I've meet little prejudice.

[Rabbit]

I'm transitioning in school also and I'm pretty out Of course, I don't go around shouting I am trans, but I do frequently "come out" to people ... IF there is a reason to.

For example, if anyone says anything negative about trans people around me (which they have, unknowing that I was one), they get contacted by me privately later on. With email or on facebook or something like that. Then I give them a little education on the subject and say that I just so happen to be trans.

Lots of people just think I am gay. I wear guy clothes (mtf) but polish my nails and grow my hair out and have my public pictures on facebook as me with headbands and makeup on. I also frequently use a feminine name (as my chat handle for art) and do quite a few "girly things"... such as for one of my projects, I turned in an animation which wrote out a pink "=^_^= Meow~" text with a pink outline of a cat behind it

I am also starting to get "ma'amed" and my chest definitely has lumps even with my sports bra on.

Basically, I don't really hide anything. I speak normally with my natural voice (though I'm practicing my female voice as well in private), do my work, chat with people (just like a normal person, not overly male or overly female).... and I express myself how I want (and have fun with it).

Of course, I am very careful not do to "creepy" things that will unsettle others. Such as suddenly starting to give people hugs (which is a big no no for if they gender me male).

Anyone that I have any interest in socially I do tell I am trans. So all my friends which I go out socially with know.

Basically, I feel pretty accepted. I don't tolerate people bashing us and stand up proud for what I am. If they think we are prostitutes or some sex fetish, I am a perfect example of how that is very far from the truth (which I have no problem reminding people... "Do I look like a whore to you?").

The only negative reaction I have had is my father, everyone else has been extremely supportive. I think the key is not dressing or doing things which really just look bad. Like if I tried to wear a sweaterdress tomorrow to class, I just don't have the body for it and it would look horrible. This type of thing is perfectly understandable... if I saw a really fat girl coming into class with a mini-tshirt that covered half of her belly, I would try to distance myself from her and would think she was a "freak"... but if I saw a fat girl come into class who dressed nice and was confident, I would LOVE to get to know her.

[Gadgett]

Rabbit,

Loved your statement. It's the kinda mentality I try to keep for myself. ^.^

[Lynn]

Even though I haven't really started yet, I plan to be very open about everything. As Rabbit put it, I'm definitely not going to go shout on top of a roof that I'm trans, but I have no issues with telling people who ask me, and I will tell everyone I am somewhat close to at some point.

I'm proud of who I am, something I have never been before, and it makes me feel happy and confident.

[Gabby]

if I saw a really fat girl coming into class with a mini-tshirt that covered half of her belly, I would try to distance myself from her and would think she was a "freak"... but if I saw a fat girl come into class who dressed nice and was confident, I would LOVE to get to know her.

Rabbit I don't want to rag on you, but you wouldn't just think it, you'd act it too.  The word Freak can be used on anyone by anyone, she could use it on you for having Facebook pics of you wearing makeup and headbands, if she thought like lots of other people that "your just gay".  Easily could turn it on you.  Rather than judging it's best to help people, instil confidence in that person don't even think in terms of her weight, things get better if people feel good about themselves.

[Constance]

Out? Yes. Proud? Well, I think I'd say I'm not ashamed. I wouldn't necessarily say that I'm proud to be trans.

I hide my trans-ness from just about no one. I'm out at both my churches, my sangha, my workplace, everywhere. Being pre-op and only a few months into HRT, I pass in low light to people with poor eyesight. But for me, the goal is not so much about passing as it is about wholeness. I'm a person with hopes and dreams, who wants to love and be loved, and who just happens to be trans.

[Luc]

I suppose I qualify, based on others' posts. In a perfect world, I would tell everyone I'm trans, to avoid any confusion, but I am blatantly aware of the fact that there are still incredibly hateful people in the world who, with the information of my trans identity in hand, might deign to harm me. I'm 5 years into transition (ftm), and still can't get my name changed due to some legal issues, so any employer with whom I'm trying to get a job has to know. I had medical marijuana for awhile, and the name thing came up a lot, so anyone at any dispensary I went to had to know. I am constantly having to tell doctors/nurses when I need anything from them, but they typically assume I'm mtf, which causes some embarrassment on their part and annoyance on my part when I have to explain, in great detail, that yes, Virginia, ftms do exist!

But I'd be perfectly happy to have anyone and everyone know, if I had no harm to fear. I had a college public speaking class a couple years ago, and our first speech was supposed to be an introduction of ourselves, focusing on something we felt was central to our lives. Despite having plenty of passions and interests, I decided to challenge myself and come out as trans. It was terrifying, but in that class of 20 people, not a one had an unkind word for me; in fact, they applauded me, and I was accepted. If it hadn't been for that speech, I doubt my current girlfriend would be with me. She said that speech made her admire me and want to know more--- not because I was trans, but because I had the balls to stand up there and tell people I was. We've been together for 2 years now.

So yeah, I'm out, and I'm quite proud. I'm not proud that I'm trans, but rather proud that I have the strength to deal with it. It's something I didn't ask for, but I'm trying to cope with it as gracefully as possible.

[Rabbit]

Rabbit I don't want to rag on you, but you wouldn't just think it, you'd act it too.  The word Freak can be used on anyone by anyone, she could use it on you for having Facebook pics of you wearing makeup and headbands, if she thought like lots of other people that "your just gay".  Easily could turn it on you.  Rather than judging it's best to help people, instil confidence in that person don't even think in terms of her weight, things get better if people feel good about themselves.

Oh you are right, I typically move away from using the term "freak"... but, really, this is basically what the entire issue is (if people see us as negatively abnormal or not).

Generally people don't care too much what the reasons behind the behaviour is. Sure, they will give a little wiggle room if you are mentally ill or there is something else going on that you let them know about... but, then it will only help them be tolerant when around you.. but they sure won't be inviting you to their social gatherings to hang out.

Not saying it is right or wrong, just it is how it is. People see others in terms of "freak" or "not freak" (or whatever term you want to use, "normal" or "not normal" or whatever else ).

Through the entire thing we are trying to do (during transition and even after) is to stay out of the "freak zone" so the person can actually get to know us first. The entire reason for trying to pass is so others don't judge us as "trans" right away (assuming people automatically equate trans with freak...which, I guess many do).

But, really, it isn't just about "trans or not". There is a lot more which can throw you into "freak zone" really quick. Basically, how you fit in with those around you. If you dress goth, it might put you in the "freak zone" in an office setting... but would be totally fine in the goth setting.

If you sit around in the corner creepily all the time and don't talk to people (because of confidence or fear of light or whatever reason), it is going to put people off. If you smile and chat and dress nicely though, you will easily be able to make friends (and be able to overcome minor issues with appearance).

I actually found facebook a really great way to break the ice with people. I am a lot more relaxed and friendly / chatty online typically, so it is a great way to get past the uncomfortable feelings people might have in how I look or act differently... and start to let them get to know me personally.

Then again, being able to just say "hi, how's it goin?" with the person next to you and starting up a relaxed conversation is pretty important too. If you are hiding in your house all the time and just go to work (or school) and back home without talking to anyone... then... yea, that really isn't going to help people warm up to you and see a real person (instead of just a "trans" label, or even just thinking you are strange and putting you in the "freak zone", not even considering gender).

[Lily]

It's awesome being open.

Before I started I thought I'd be too shy and I'd try to hide it, but every day I gain so much confidence that it's not a big deal going out as myself. I am starting to love the way I look, and I've begun to stop caring what others think.

[Keaira]

I'm open but not extremely proud to be trans. I dont think anyone would want the amount of crap we go through in their lives. When I returned to my job after I was laid off, People thought I was on hormones. So when I finally started I didnt see a point in hiding it. Which is why I went full time so early. I couldnt really hide it if people were listening to rumor. They're going to be curious and so far it's not been too bad.

[Bird]

@Luc

Thanks for writting that post. Sometimes I have problems dealing with dysphoria, and heck, hearing about someone giving a speech on their TG condition is inspiring and strenghtening.

[jainie marlena]

It's awesome being open.

Before I started I thought I'd be too shy and I'd try to hide it, but every day I gain so much confidence that it's not a big deal going out as myself. I am starting to love the way I look, and I've begun to stop caring what others think.

This is why I posted this. I strarted out afraid people were going to laugh at me. Every new place I went would draw streanth from the last one. What if one person laughed the thousands did not. I'm not that shy person I once was is now gone. I feel like I can do anything.

@ Luc, What was like to stand up there and open up?