My nervous introduction...

[Bea]

Hello all,

As I type this my hands are shaking a bit. I am a born male, 37 now with a wife and 3 children. I have been probing several sites like these over the years but never had the courage to join until now as I have been praying to god allot lately to help me. I believe I possibly have a female brain, not sure. I do know that throughout my entire life, school, high school, college, military, and now family, I have always been comfortable being feminine and very uncomfortable being masculine. I do not care for sports or anything manly. Of course to fit in, I have learned from childhood how to be a guy to include dating women. I have tried wearing women's clothing from time to time, sometimes building up collections, only to throw them away to avoid the risk of being caught or humiliated. Within the last year or so I have began to build up again but this time I don't want to throw them away because I realize now that this part of me.

I truly believe I am a woman and not a cross dresser mainly because what I wear. I fear coming out because I don't want to lose my children, the respect of my wife, Father, or my job. This leaves me frustrated and angry when I am home with my wife, sometimes taking it out on my wife by saying mean things. I realize the longer I live this lie the more people I may hurt, I know I need to come to terms, but with a wife who isn't going to be open to this idea and the fact my children deserve a dad really have put me in a corner.

I have been working on finding a councilor in my area who understands my issues but haven't done so yet.

Hello again, and I look forward to making new friends.

Love,
Breanne

[Sage]

Hello, Breanne, and welcome to Susan's Place. 

Believe me when I say we've all been where you are right now, and some of us still are.  Finding a counselor seems like an appropriate first step for you; I hope you find someone who is understanding and can help you understand what's going on.

It sounds to me like you're MtF, or Male-to-Female, but don't be too quick to categorize yourself.  Don't be afraid to explore your gender and find out what it means to you as a person, and how it fits into who you are.

Best wishes and good luck. 
-Sage M.

[Devlyn]

Hi Breanne, it's nice to meet you! No need to be nervous, everyone here understands. You'll meet friends and get plenty of advice, information, and support here. Hugs, Tracey

[Devlyn]

And how forgetful am I? Thanks for your service, hon. There are a lot of veterans and their supporters here. Hugs, Tracey

[Erica L.]

Hi Breanne-

I don't respond often on the forums, but your intro caught my eye because of the similiarity of our situations (married, kid, un-accepting wife). I hope that you find stregnth and courage from the wonderful resources on this site, as well as the fantastic people who offer their advice!

Erica Leigh

[Jillieann Rose]

Hello Breanne,
Good to meet you.
I am also married an have children.
My children have children.
I had to come to terms with my fear of loosing all that I love and care for.
That seem to be the only way for most trans people to be able to transitioning.
At this point I am on hrt (hormones) and still have my wife.
If you like you can pm me, that is when you have enough postings.
I believe that it is 15.
Welcome to Susan's,
Jillieann 

[Bea]

Thank you all and nice to meet you too. I look forward to getting acquainted with the site and making new friends. 

[Plague]

This sounds a little like Just a suggstion ? Talk To your Wife let her know What is going on with u a give a little time to set in. don't rush it
she is your best frieind. Good 4 u Come out of that closet my sister