Being Called Masculine

[Nygeel]

For myself I absolutely hate being told I'm masculine. Now, this tends to come from people who mean well but it's one of those things that REALLY gets under my skin. Usually the person's intention, or meaning is "you look male" (typically meaning I could see you as being cis). I know that I'm not masculine. I don't identify as masculine or with masculinity. I'm male, and to me there's a huge difference to the two and how I take it. Somebody saying that I'm male...well, that's fact and what I am. Somebody saying that I'm masculine would be...well...wrong.

It just frustrates me partially because before I transitioned I was seen as a masculine woman (I'm still seen as a masculine woman but that's neither here nor there) but I never really felt masculine (or a woman for that matter). So when a person says "you look masculine" I see it more so as saying I don't look like a male (although since I am male I always look male lol), or I look masculine [for a woman].

Does anybody else feel weird or bothered when called masculine?

[Adio]

It just frustrates me partially because before I transitioned I was seen as a masculine woman (I'm still seen as a masculine woman but that's neither here nor there) but I never really felt masculine (or a woman for that matter). So when a person says "you look masculine" I see it more so as saying I don't look like a male (although since I am male I always look male lol), or I look masculine [for a woman].

While I now appreciate being called masculine, I used to feel like that before transitioning and early transitioning.  I felt like when someone said I looked masculine, they meant I looked like a masculine female.  Meaning, I was more masculine than your average girl compared to being a masculine guy.  So although I consider myself to be masculine, I get what you're saying.  I've felt similar to that before and been frustrated by it. 

[Natkat]

I know what you mean, I also hate it,

I Love maculine girls, but I am not one of these..
if you see me as a guy you know I am indeed very femenine and not much maculine is to find maybe some but not much LOL,
so people calling me maculine are generally refering me to be female..

[Z7Z]

I see what you mean. But have you thought of giving these people the benefit of the doubt, and instead of assuming they mean something insulting like "she looks masculine, almost like a guy" that they actually mean "he looks masculine, it's hard to believe he wasn't born with a physically male body"? I think that there's a lot of instances when trans people can get easily offended by people who weren't even intending to offend. Personally, I don't bother with feeling offended if it isn't totally obvious that it was actually their intent to offend. And, as you said, it's often from people who mean well... so maybe you could either brush it off, or educate them on the difference between being male and being masculine. *shrug* there's my two cents

[Mika]

Yeah, I can kinda relate. When people say I'm masculine it's typically when they're reading me as female (on the "female scale" of the gender binary I am read as a butch lesbian), but then again when I'm read as male I'm seen as a bit feminine (often as a femme-y gay boy). A lot of it has to do with gender expectations of people. My gender expression is also relatively fluid, and I don't necessarily like being called masculine or feminine--those words often don't mean a whole lot to me. I don't like feeling stuck in someone's expectations of male-ness and masculinity.

[Nygeel]

I see what you mean. But have you thought of giving these people the benefit of the doubt, and instead of assuming they mean something insulting like "she looks masculine, almost like a guy" that they actually mean "he looks masculine, it's hard to believe he wasn't born with a physically male body"?

The person saw me as an assigned female at birth trans person. I don't consider myself masculine which is what I have problems with. I don't like being called masculine because it's something I'm not. I think the second half of your example "it's hard for me to believe he wasn't born with a physically male body" is bothersome.

I think that there's a lot of instances when trans people can get easily offended by people who weren't even intending to offend. Personally, I don't bother with feeling offended if it isn't totally obvious that it was actually their intent to offend. And, as you said, it's often from people who mean well... so maybe you could either brush it off, or educate them on the difference between being male and being masculine. *shrug* there's my two cents

[MaxAloysius]

I consider myself quite masculine, and have been told so by several people and it doesn't bother me, but then again that's probably just because I'm not very femme, and I take it as a compliment.

[Sollan]

I see what you mean. But have you thought of giving these people the benefit of the doubt, and instead of assuming they mean something insulting like "she looks masculine, almost like a guy" that they actually mean "he looks masculine, it's hard to believe he wasn't born with a physically male body"? I think that there's a lot of instances when trans people can get easily offended by people who weren't even intending to offend. Personally, I don't bother with feeling offended if it isn't totally obvious that it was actually their intent to offend. And, as you said, it's often from people who mean well... so maybe you could either brush it off, or educate them on the difference between being male and being masculine. *shrug* there's my two cents

I agree, I give them the benefit of the doubt because alot of people are ignorant of how to phrase things,  so instead of taking offense, I try to understand what they are trying to say so as to help them to understand.

[anibioman]

i never really get called masculine. most people think im a guy but people always used to treat me as a masculine girl.

[Sharky]

It doesn't bother me. Most people probably assume all guys, including trans, are and want to bee seen as masculine.

[Z7Z]

The person saw me as an assigned female at birth trans person. I don't consider myself masculine which is what I have problems with. I don't like being called masculine because it's something I'm not. I think the second half of your example "it's hard for me to believe he wasn't born with a physically male body" is bothersome.

Why is it bothersome?

[Nygeel]

Why is it bothersome?

For me it translates to trans people must look a certain way that's different from cis people. It erases my being trans (well if somebody were to say that to me).