post-op group

[Padma]

  Just a general reminder that this is a part of Susan's Place, and subject to the ToS, which include not making personal attacks on each other. Please keep things civil.

[Annah]

Well, I do think Valerie has a point. On the 14th you said you still have to get your surgery. You have been posting here every day since then, which is a bit odd for someone who has to undergo invasive surgery. Also, earlier this year you said you would get your surgery in 2012.

Something is fishy here...

My surgery is also next year, but let's pretend I've already got it so I can also get access to that forum.

As I mentioned, my medical status is of no one's concern. You can come up with conjectures and ideas all you want. I am not going into dilating details and such. I even had people PM me about it and I still will not say. This is my medical journey and not yours. I will disclose my medical issues and events when I see fit or when I wish to

[Annah]

I didn't mean it as a personal attack. After being around on transgender forums for about 3 years I've learned that a lot of people on these forums are not who they claim to be. This has made me pretty paranoid, especially when things don't add up.

I actually agree with Annah that her medical status is nobody's business. But in that case one can wonder if it's smart to ask access to a closed forum that requires you to be open about your medical status.

If I have to give access of my medical status and intimate details to dilating, etc., to complete strangers in order to chat in a particular forum, then i will gladly forfeit the right to talk in that forum. My privacy is much more important to me than where I can post in.

And since you spent a great deal looking through my posts you will also see the very limited number of posts (1) that was posted in the Post Op section besides the events that occurred today.

[Padma]

I didn't mean it as a personal attack. After being around on transgender forums for about 3 years I've learned that a lot of people on these forums are not who they claim to be. This has made me pretty paranoid, especially when things don't add up.

I actually agree with Annah that her medical status is nobody's business. But in that case one can wonder if it's smart to ask access to a closed forum that requires you to be open about your medical status.

I wasn't singling anyone out here, just making a general reminder to try to keep cool heads when discussing a hot topic.

I have a question here, though: is it in fact laid down somewhere that to have access to this closed forum, you are required to be open about your medical status? I'm asking this as a mod, in the collective interest of anyone who wishes to join this closed forum, and should then know in advance what is expected of them, and by whom.

[Valeriedoeswcs]

No one has to be open publicly to request access to an area, of course. There does have to be a written request to an admin advising of your post-op status, since it is a restricted area.

I do not believe anyone, especially a prolific writer who discusses everything else trans related and is well known for arguing with post-ops, would keep quiet about their post-op status and having a vagina. It just didnt happen.

If it was rescheduled or a change of heart then just say. Everyone would understand. There have been plenty of people who have backed out of surgery. I met one in Montreal that changed her mind for the third time.

If I have to give access of my medical status and intimate details to dilating, etc., to complete strangers ...

Seriously, Annah... are you secretly dilating?

[AbraCadabra]

* ...is it in fact laid down somewhere that to have access to this closed forum, you are required to be open about your medical status? *

The answer to that question is: NO.

But I also should suggest to stick to post-op issues and items over here, as Val pointed out. It is -Post-Op Life-, not -Pre- Post-op Life-... and getting all sticky when asked a simple question.

In my case I had no issue what so ever to explain in a few sentences why my original SRS date 15. June 2011 was delayed, i.e. I had emergency brain surgery 9. June 2011. No big secret that was, as also I was very distressed and looked for support.

Visitors are welcome here I found, but not really for the sake of picking on post-ops... if you please.

...
Axelle

[Rebekah with a K-A-H]

* ...is it in fact laid down somewhere that to have access to this closed forum, you are required to be open about your medical status? *

The answer to that question is: NO.

But I also should suggest to stick to post-op issues and items over here, as Val pointed out. It is -Post-Op Life-, not -Pre- Post-op Life-... and getting all sticky when asked a simple question.

In my case I had no issue what so ever to explain in a few sentences why my original SRS date 15. June 2011 was delayed, i.e. I had emergency brain surgery 9. June 2011. No big secret that was, as also I was very distressed and looked for support.

Visitors are welcome here I found, but not really for the sake of picking on post-ops... if you please.

...
Axelle

While I appreciate the concern, I don't really think the fact that I don't have a vulva right now has any bearing on whether I can support someone's decision to their own privacy, and it's not 'picking on the post-ops' to do so, unless you think someone else's genitals are your business, in which case that's weird.

[Sarah Louise]

The Post Op Group (in the Just For Us area) is just that, Post Ops.  Not almost post op, not going to be post op one day, Post Op (Susan's Staff has access to all areas for moderating purposes).

[Valeriedoeswcs]

While I appreciate the concern, I don't really think the fact that I don't have a vulva right now has any bearing on whether I can support someone's decision to their own privacy, and it's not 'picking on the post-ops' to do so, unless you think someone else's genitals are your business, in which case that's weird.

Hi Rebekah. If you told me you were having surgery in a few weeks I would ask you about it. If you posted it publicly I would ask you about it publicly.

I will be thinking of you when your surgery comes up. We are a community however much we argue and this is something important. Be sure I will be thinking of you.

If you tell me its private and you dont wish to discuss it, of course I would respect that. The least you could do for a community you devote so much time to is to at least say whether you have had your planned surgery or not.

[Annah]

The Post Op Group (in the Just For Us area) is just that, Post Ops.  Not almost post op, not going to be post op one day, Post Op (Susan's Staff has access to all areas for moderating purposes).

I agree with that, but that isn't what this whole thing was about. She challenged me on my medical history. I have no desire to tell her or anyone here my medical history. If this prevents me from posting here then I will not do it and if you can see, I have only posted once in this post op section...so this issue isn't a concern for me nor am I trying to fight for the right to post in a post op section. The only reason why I was posting again was to defend myself against someone telling me I am a liar.

I am sure, if someone accused you of that, you would defend yourself as well.

[Sarah Louise]

Where we are talking right now is not in the Just For Us area, you are free to post away.

But the original topic was about the Post Op Group in the Just For Us area.

[Annah]

The least you could do for a community you devote so much time to is to at least say whether you have had your planned surgery or not.

I also devote much of my time eslewhere. That is not a medical pass or a HIPAA agreement between me and the people I talk to. My medical history, any surgery details, etc., will not be discussed by people I am not close to.

If me requiring to disclose open my HIPAA to those I have no idea who they are only by what they post here (and especially with certain people I do not morally and ethically agree with) then I, as I said before, I will gladly to never post in the post op section. It is something I will not lose sleep over it.

You have to come to peace with the fact that I will never tell you my medical history or details. The only reason why I responded back to this thread is because you challenged me of my honesty. Other than that, I had no desire to post here.

[Annah]

Where we are talking right now is not in the Just For Us area, you are free to post away.

But the original topic was about the Post Op Group in the Just For Us area.

I agree 100% with that.