Are gay men less accepting?

[Mahsa Tezani]

QUESTION: Why one earth do we care so much about gay-men's acceptance of us in first place?!

Some may become friends, some may not care for us, right? Some in deed you will loose as friends as you move on into transition, that is VERY probable as much as is with hetero cis-male friends and cis-females. We do know all this by now, or?

Will they (gay-males) want to get into an intimate relationship with us being pre- or post-op MtF on HRT? I REALLY don't think so at all. So --- why fret?

I do not talk about non-op / non HRT, and if you wish Lady-boy images. THAT be pretty much a different issue in deed. And guess what? THAT... we do know as well, and who likes those folks... no need to tell I should guess ;-)

So? Enjoy life's variety best you can,
Axelle

I have no intention of srs and my former lover, Dustin was into the fact that I used to be a pretty gay boy who was now a pretty girl. He loved my boobs, we were very intimate with each other, etc

But for all intents. He was a gay man.... What people don't realize is that a lot of gay men are into ts's.. Obviously, they don't see them as women. They see them as extreme femmes. But really it's a change of perspective. There are plenty of homosexual mtf ->-bleeped-<- ->-bleeped-<-s.

I know several gay men who dress up in drag and do their b/fs.

[Chloe]

. . . getting rid of the penis bothers many of them.

I wouldn't say that gay men are less accepting, but they don't understand transsexuals.

I would *ditto* that; it's not so much a question of "accepting".... As much as I've had gay friends and adore them to death they're simply not interested sexually in anybody *sans penis* that cannot reciprocate in the momasculineine, traditionally Greek or Roman fashion!

I mean isn't that the whole point, definition of "gay boy" in the first place? And which leaves us more classic, "straight" MtF's in the rather sorry position of havin to *compete* with ordinary gg's for the attentions of otherwise "non-perverted", religiously heterosexual males!

[Amazon D]

from my experiences, gay men responds to transsexual issues just like every member of society. You have those who are utterly supportive of us. You have those who are just indifferent and you have those who do not like us.

It's just part of the human condition and ignorance.

I go to a Seminary where I would conservatively say that 60% of the men on campus are gay. Many of them are some of my closet friends. None of the gay men that I go to school at is against transsexuals.

Also, from my church and the non profits I volunteer at, gay men have been very nice.

You can say this same argument with Lesbians too. You got some that hate us (Womyn born womyn) and some that are indifferent and some that loves us.

Oh so your still in the closet Hmmmm ohhhh         


wow 60% are gay ... oh my .. those poor straight ones who are going for serious reasons must be in shock with all those gay men offering to help tutor 

[amanda barber]

Will they (gay-males) want to get into an intimate relationship with us being pre- or post-op MtF on HRT? I REALLY don't think so at all. So --- why fret?

My man did.
that relationship has lasted a long time.

[Mahsa Tezani]

I would *ditto* that; it's not so much a question of "accepting".... As much as I've had gay friends and adore them to death they're simply not interested sexually in anybody *sans penis* that cannot reciprocate in the momasculineine, traditionally Greek or Roman fashion!

I mean isn't that the whole point, definition of "gay boy" in the first place? And which leaves us more classic, "straight" MtF's in the rather sorry position of havin to *compete* with ordinary gg's for the attentions of otherwise "non-perverted", religiously heterosexual males!

Well I am keeping my penis. So I dont' really care either way what the guy is... I get along well with bi gay men who are into femmes. But there's a much more positive dynamic with hetero men.

[lilacwoman]

the real truth of gay men disliking TS might eb Greens 50 - Dr Green had fifty young boys brought to him as being too fmeinine and wanting to twirl about in pretty dresses ar 4/5/6 year olds but none of these chose to go for sex chnage or live female and all ebcame gay guys who then got very angry/upset when reminded about their infant drag kid years.

so perhaps thee is a lot of internalised shame with gay gays about their early crossdressing?
then again as gays worship penises that hate us for getting rid of ours - and for wanting to find a nice straight guy as a partner.

[Mahsa Tezani]

then again as gays worship penises that hate us for getting rid of ours - and for wanting to find a nice straight guy as a partner.

Not really. My ex boyfriend and I used to have sex with women... He had two children with his hag. I slept with my  hag and her older sister. We slept with plenty of women and men, even though him and I were 75% gay. But transwomen were a definite NO back then, because he didn't understand them....much less the attraction to them.

But there is a definite sense of betraying the manhood, which goes well beyond srs.

[Morrigan]

There is an obvious shallow side to the gay community, when the term they use for female partners is "->-bleeped-<- Hag". There are so many things that it seems these gay men have already contemplated and decided what they like and don't like. It would seem that we're better off taking our chances with straight or bi men (ideally Bi-curious!), who are less likely to discuss these things with each other and create "Brotherhoods", which may even have some guidelines of conduct, enacting a sort of social justice?

Straight people are as a norm, uncomfortable with TGs, but aren't very likely to tell everyone about it. That, to me, makes it more of an individual decision to befriend a TG individual, or not to. Something decided on your own like this is less likely to have the ignorant interference involved with peer groups. Beyond certain church groups, straight people don't often talk about ->-bleeped-<-, while a gay group of friends are more likely to have discussed it and have a collective opinion on them.

[Mahsa Tezani]

There is an obvious shallow side to the gay community, when the term they use for female partners is "->-bleeped-<- Hag". There are so many things that it seems these gay men have already contemplated and decided what they like and don't like.

Again, you've never lived in a gay community. I am from the Castro in SF and I lived with my ->-bleeped-<- hag for a month. She was one of my best friends. Along with every other girl I was friends with.

So please don't comment on the shallowness of the gay community if you've never actually been there.

[Morrigan]

My opinions don't come from the SF area, so my experiences may vary from those in such a place. I wasn't criticizing how anyone treats women, but whoever keyed that phrase didn't know or didn't care that it might be wildly offensive in a good many states, or other countries for that matter...I always forget these are international forums.

[V M]

I find the term ->-bleeped-<- Hag to be rather quite offensive    If anyone ever used that term to describe me there would be a pretty darn good chance they'ed get their fanny kicked and be on my poo list for all eternity

[Mahsa Tezani]

My opinions don't come from the SF area, so my experiences may vary from those in such a place. I wasn't criticizing how anyone treats women, but whoever keyed that phrase didn't know or didn't care that it might be wildly offensive in a good many states, or other countries for that matter...I always forget these are international forums.

You mean Gay men? Thats who coined that phrase. Gay men did. So you can take it up with that community if you're offended by what they call their cheerleaders.

->-bleeped-<- hags- normally plain looking girls with great personality who are a homosexual male's companion

Fruitfly- A gorgeous girl who is the homosexual males companion.

[Sailor_Saturn]

I've never actually had this problem. All but one of the gay men I've met have been very kind to me and very understanding. I've only met two gay men that I did not like, and they were very obnoxious people to begin with. The rest kept calling me strong (I usually don't think of myself as strong), and expressed sorrow that the world is so dark for transsexuals right now.

Maybe it's different in the USA?

[Annah]

Oh so your still in the closet Hmmmm ohhhh         


wow 60% are gay ... oh my .. those poor straight ones who are going for serious reasons must be in shock with all those gay men offering to help tutor 

oops, that's one heckuva typo. 

Yeah it's about 60%. Poor straight guys have a miserable time here.....as a lot of the girls who go here are lesbian.

[Annah]

I find the term ->-bleeped-<- Hag to be rather quite offensive    If anyone ever used that term to describe me there would be a pretty darn good chance they'ed get their fanny kicked and be on my poo list for all eternity

the phrase "->-bleeped-<- hag" is actually a pretty non offensive term here. They've been using it for years and have been calling each other that.

If someone did get offended by being called a ->-bleeped-<-hag in this area that means they haven't been near the gay community for too long.

Same with the term "Queer." Here, it is a term that just describes everyone in the LGBTQIA Spectrum and is accepted and a proud term. Elsewhere, people see it as a term familiar with "->-bleeped-<-*ot."

[amanda barber]

I've never actually had this problem. All but one of the gay men I've met have been very kind to me and very understanding. I've only met two gay men that I did not like, and they were very obnoxious people to begin with. The rest kept calling me strong (I usually don't think of myself as strong), and expressed sorrow that the world is so dark for transsexuals right now.

Maybe it's different in the USA?

Thats how it is in the USA too, when you actually interact with the community instead of doing what so many do and just make claims about how people think or feel from afar.

[V M]

the phrase "->-bleeped-<- hag" is actually a pretty non offensive term here. They've been using it for years and have been calling each other that.

If someone did get offended by being called a ->-bleeped-<-hag in this area that means they haven't been near the gay community for too long.

Same with the term "Queer." Here, it is a term that just describes everyone in the LGBTQIA Spectrum and is accepted and a proud term. Elsewhere, people see it as a term familiar with "->-bleeped-<-*ot."

I don't really care who started it and/or if it's the hip catch term, I find it disrespectful and demeaning... Kinda like saying Bitch Whore is a term of endearment 

Kinda the same feel as someone saying "Yo, you's is my skank bitch whore sees... Like that yo"

Sorry, that's just how I feel