Non-Binary Introductions

[AJ]

I'm so happy that things are changing so much!
I have been a lurker and in and out of the forum since 2006 and I started HRT Dec 19, 2017.
I identify as non-binary and wish to look male while dressed and female undressed.
So, I wear male clothes during the day but love my wonderful cotton nighties at night.
I always had my hair short but am now growing my hair out to be gender neutral.
Only my wife will see me in the undressed stage.
Everyone compliments me these days on my hair, weight loss and that "something else look" they cannot put a finger on thing about me these days.
Little do they know...
I have been on HRT for 5 months and my boobs are growing to the point that they might be getting hard to hide.
My measurements at the bust line now are 41" and under the breasts at 37".
According to (sophisticatedpair.com/bra-size-calculator/) that makes me a 36DD size.
My first measurement was at 3 months and I was 40" at the bust line and under the breasts at 39.5" so things are changing.
Changes are likely from HRT, diet and exercise.
I walk 5 miles every day and eat almost no carbohydrates except as a treat.
I am 64, 5'11" and weigh 179lbs and hope to move down to about 155lbs by the end of this year.
I am doing this through continued exercise, good diet and Pilates which I have been doing for 16 months now.
That and the HRT reshaping that should start happening at a more accelerated pace as I move into the 6 months and longer HRT period.
I love running on estrogen and never, ever want to run on testosterone again.
I feel like it's like putting rocket fuel in a hot rod!
It is just so, so right!
Planning to have an orchie in September.
My only fear is that I am binding a bit by wearing "shaping" shirts and the girls/boobs don't seem to like it.
They like to be free but it is harder to hide them when I let them roam free.
My next appointment with the endo is in 1.5 weeks.
Should I ask or push to have my estrogen intake lowered or just abide by her recommendation?
I must be taking to the HRT very well so I must be lucky?
AJ

[Deborah]

Your height, weight, and measurements are similar to mine.  Actually my weight is now slightly higher but last year I did get it down to 155.  What I found was that I became extremely skinny with my bones protruding from the skin.  Whatever shape that HRT had given me was disappearing rapidly in my quest to become a beanpole.

So rather than set an arbitrary weight goal I changed to maintaining a body fat level in the healthy range, around 20% and below, while eating enough to maintain my workouts without crashing.  I think I look better now and even pass better without the face of starvation. 

So just a suggestion to rely on the mirror first and the scale second.

Depending on your body type and base muscle mass 155 lbs may be the right weight for you.  Or it may not be.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[AJ]

Thank you Deborah,
That was very sound advice.
AJ

[Tessa James]

Hello AJ and welcome to the inside story....including your own!  Thank you for sharing.  Having been continually a part of the greater queer community I note there are many androgynous, fem-butch, demi-girls and oodles of presentations that folks wear in public.  So, having breasts and a more male/butch look certainly can work.

More important, i think, is how you feel and I share your enthusiasm for running on the appropriate hormonal fuel for our gender identity.  Seems you might have found the sweet spot?  And then those with the most specific physical goals can have that YMMV issue relative to the exact right dose of HRT.

Best of luck and congratulations for giving yourself that gift of personal happiness and liberation.

[AJ]

Thank you Tessa,
My journey from self-abuse to understanding the why of it, has been long and winding.
My hormone journey is over 5 months now and the HRT has totally shut down my testosterone and given me strong motivation to take care of myself instead of eating poorly and hurting myself.
Parts of my old self are still there with 64 years of life as male and 55 years of trying to get rid of that maleness that wasn't right for me.
I am growing my hair out a little to a more androgynous look and I think of myself as a "tomboy".
I was actually looking at getting rid of the testosterone through castration that I had scheduled for last December (which I cancelled) to become a eunuch but a wonderful man named Dr. Richard Wassersug from from University of British Columbia after a lot of emails, texts and a nice long phone call helped me to consider a trial of testosterone blockers.
Knowing myself and my life-long desires to be feminine, have breasts and Dr. Wassergug's suggestions of protecting my bones and health, I found a therapist and doctor in Michigan where I live who helped me onto this HRT path.
As soon as the testosterone went away I knew I was on the right path to becoming me.
The estrogen flowing through me and the good diet and exercise is all working to reshape my body and I love every aspect of HRT.
About every 5 weeks I can look in the mirror and see small changes.
I have gone from a 40" bust-line and a 39.5" measurement under the breast to a 41" bust-line and 37" under the breasts.
According to (sophisticatedpair.com/bra-size-calculator) that makes me a 36DD and so I am on my way.
The girls are really there now and I can't run without support but they are a dream come true.
I haven't measured it, but the fat redistribution is starting to show itself in the form of some shape shifting in the waistline into or toward a more female body shape.
My therapist has helped me find a plastic surgeon who will perform modified bottom surgery that I hope to have in September.
The best news is that my wife is accepting of this for me.
I finally am able to love being me

[Tessa James]

AJ you have a nice litany of success going on!  Yes it does amount to a past of self abuse as we denied ourselves and tried for too long to be what we never really were.  Perhaps the best I felt was well before HRT and finally gaining some level of self acceptance.  It was only after I gave up on the man act that i realized what a huge weight it had been.  bu bye now and don't come back is what I said and my testes are gone.  Good riddance!

Rock on friend, we share some similar paths and challenges.  I need further pushes to get my ass back on the trail and consuming a little better diet as I am so often indulgent vs disciplined

[AJ]

Thanks Tessa,
My motivation is to get the most girly figure I always wished I could have but didn't have the courage to admit to it.
Now that I have committed to it, I have lost 32 pounds and am less strict with the diet but still walk 5 miles a day.
Through Pilates, I have learned to get certain muscles to fire and I when walking I can feel the butt muscles firing which may help me get the butt I want.
I also have mentally moved on to not work so hard but allow the estrogen to do it's work as I approach my 6th month so those changes may start happening soon.
It is a slow process so we need to be patient and goal and hope oriented and have a little fun with it.
My wife had me help her with bra purchases today, kind of a little "girl time" for the two of us.
She teases me about not growing my boobs larger than hers are.
She is 67 and I am 64 and we have been married for 30+ years.
I want to be married to her forever...

[Laurie]

Thanks Tessa,
My motivation is to get the most girly figure I always wished I could have but didn't have the courage to admit to it.
Now that I have committed to it, I have lost 32 pounds and am less strict with the diet but still walk 5 miles a day.
Through Pilates, I have learned to get certain muscles to fire and I when walking I can feel the butt muscles firing which may help me get the butt I want.
I also have mentally moved on to not work so hard but allow the estrogen to do it's work as I approach my 6th month so those changes may start happening soon.
It is a slow process so we need to be patient and goal and hope oriented and have a little fun with it.
My wife had me help her with bra purchases today, kind of a little "girl time" for the two of us.
She teases me about not growing my boobs larger than hers are.
She is 67 and I am 64 and we have been married for 30+ years.
I want to be married to her forever...

  Hi  AJ,

   I'm Laurie, MTF. I must apologize to you for not making this greeting when I moved your post to this Non-Binary Introductions thread. I was remiss in not doing so. I see that you are new here. So please let me say, Welcome To Susan's Place! Come on in and take a good look around.   I'll add some links and information below that can help you get more out of our site. Please take time to become familiar with them especially the RED one as we are always getting questions that are answered there.
 
Laurie
Global Moderator
Laurie@susans.org

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)	Cautionary Note
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy	Membership Agreement

[MoreThan2]

Hi everyone! I'm >2, or you can call me Ty.
I'm from the Southern USA and I'm genderqueer. I plan on starting HRT once I get on insurance in the next couple months. I'm short, fat, and content with that after beating an Eating Disorder. I'm also disabled and often use a wheelchair, though not because of my weight. I'm 20, and in and on-and-off polyam relationship. I like geeky stuff like fandoms, video games, working on computers, reading, studying, and the like.
I hope y'all are doing well!

[Tessa James]

Hi everyone! I'm >2, or you can call me Ty.
I'm from the Southern USA and I'm genderqueer. I plan on starting HRT once I get on insurance in the next couple months. I'm short, fat, and content with that after beating an Eating Disorder. I'm also disabled and often use a wheelchair, though not because of my weight. I'm 20, and in and on-and-off polyam relationship. I like geeky stuff like fandoms, video games, working on computers, reading, studying, and the like.
I hope y'all are doing well!

Hello Ty,
Welcome to the Non Binary side of the Place.  I love your banner/avatar, nicely explicit!  Having succeeded with other cultural challenges you own the confidence I sense from your intro.  There are more and more people that identify outside the two boxes and perhaps create more of their own destiny.  Im doing very well and assume there all kinds of different dances going on.  Join the party.

[Satinjoy]

It's been quite a while since I was around, and since I am becoming a little more vocal,  I think I should reintroduce.

I am a nonbinary, full transition no op trans person, or trans woman if you wish, but I present as all genders, depending on the social situation.  I live as a transsexual at home, but if there was a spectrum I would not fit any of the stereotypes or narratives, nothing works to describe who I am.

I am a professional theater performer, and it is usually geared to trans rights, am fairly well known in the New York circles and the remaining living Warhol stars, I write my own works and am including a You Tube link below if you want to know who I am.  It is the most accurate portrayal of my heart that is out there.

I can be a bit controversial, I hold my tongue and keep the peace, have no animosity to anyone, and am only here to love, and to see old friends left behind during a very hard stage in my transition journey.

Best of love.

Share the vid freely if you like, there should be nothing objectionable to it.  All rights are reserved to me, this is a professional theatrical show that was recorded, and is copywritten including the music associated with it.

>-bleeped-<s beware.  I am very married and quite fierce.

Be well.

Trinity Satin Joy.

[Satinjoy]

The music is copywritten and used with permission.

My transition, mtf physically, but I live in multiple presentations, and very comfortably.  Stealth male, stealth female, androgyne, and rarely, genderqueer.

I am mtf female by night or early morning, androgyne male or female by day, stealth male in hostile environments, and my core is mentally nonbinary.  But the body is mtf trans, no op, technically an androgyne by definition.

Enjoy the music.  The transformation is pretty amazing.

TSJ.

[Satinjoy]

Link doesnt seem to take.

[Tessa James]

Link doesnt seem to take.

Take to?  Welcome back dear friend.  Thank you for posting and providing a narrative for people to better understand you and maybe themselves too?  Good to know you remain out there and mixing it up with multiple venues.

[MotherOfDragons]

Hello! I introduced myself in the main introductions forum, but I wanted to introduce myself here as well because it seemed appropriate. I'm a genderfluid woman with PCOS who is currently pregnant with twins (hence the username). I look forward to getting to know the people on this forum (and I expect to be spending a decent amount of my time on this subforum, because I've got a lot of things to figure out and talking with other people will help).

[Satinjoy]

Welcome to the nonbinary section.

Ask away, there are answers, we are apparently quite few here but this is where you can get the nonbinary perspective of things.

I personally do not access  the other parts of this forum.  Nonbinary is its own path.

Take care of those babies, congratualations

[RobynS]

I'm bigender male and female at the same time a great part of my body is male and stay male i'm planning ffs surgery for 2019 i want a female face because in social life i'm more female after the surgery i want to be recognize as female and live in the social female rol fulltime. on terms as relation ships and love life i'm semicircle lesbian loving all people who have a strong feminine side born gender doesn't matter.

[Tessa James]

Hello Robyn,

I am very happy to welcome you to this place in time and space and not far from the Unicorn Forest, Oz and other wonderfully imaginative collectives!  I like your declarative; ...born gender doesn't matter  I trust you will be getting an official welcome but I check into these sites once in while with a few other regulars. 

We appreciate your interest and sharing well and having fun with others while here.

[Artistic_Gene]

Hello, my name is Gene and I have in recent years begun to accept and explore my nonbinary identity. I came out as trans before that, thinking a binary path would be the way for me. And wow, was I wrong on that. Anyway, I'm here because I came to this site years ago when I first came out (then as a transman) and everyone was so positive and helpful. So I'm here now to continue exploring myself and to maybe be of help to someone else.

[Tessa James]

Hey Gene,

Thank you for checking in and sharing a bit.

I was unable to transition until i understood more about the non binary reality and am happy to be in a comfortable place after a six year journey.  I consider the binary to be just great for all those who see Barbie and Ken as real role models.

You and we other enby folks have so many more options outside of the lines and outside of the box.  How is your relationship with the rest of the queer world now?  I find it interesting to be so outside many other realms and part of a growing awareness that gender is an individual experience.  Each of us unique in expression and form.  See ya round