Girls or boys bathroom???

[Kate]

In public places (malls, airports, etc.) it can be considered trespassing or some similar charge if you don't have a therapists letter in your purse...

Does the letter really hold any legal value? I have one, but I wonder how useful it really is. And I figure it's not going to stop the women from screaming and calling the cops anyway.

I'm terrified at the moment to use *either* bathroom. Or either dressing room for that matter. The horrible thing is I'm *guessing* that at first glance I appear female... but won't really withstand any scrutiny. So if I go into a men's room, it's going to create a ton of confusion at first from anyone I encounter. But if I go into a women's room, they're gonna figure it out if they pay real any attention. I really just can't win.

I think I'm just going to avoid travel and clothes shopping for another six months or so

~Kate~

EDIT: For what it's worth, I told my wife about my worries. She pondered it for a moment, as she's VERY cautious about most things, then said, "Well, if you're dressed as a woman, and look like a woman... you use the rooms for women."

[Renae.Lupini]

the bottom line to the entire situation, as well as most situations, is your level of confidence. If you think you can then you will. If you don't then you won't. It is quite perplexing how so many different things can go into our judgment of what pot to pee in.

[Kate]

the bottom line to the entire situation, as well as most situations, is your level of confidence. If you think you can then you will. If you don't then you won't.

LOL, that's not entirely true...

The first (and last) time I ever got maam'd was in Walmart, when I was in male clothing (this was only about 3 months HRT), dripping from rain, and crying because I was seeing all the women shopping and thinking about how I'd never, ever pass... being 6'2" and all.

I was heading for the men's dressing room when the attendent stopped me and pointed me to the women's section. The idea of passing was so far from my thoughts, I couldn't figure out what she meant at first.

Hmmm, although in a way, I guess DID have confidence... I mean wasn't acting nervous or anything because I just assumed I was passing as a male, lol.

~Kate~

[Keira]

I went to the bathroom sitting down my whole life (even when I was a child!!) and I always hit the water without sitting back, it hung straight down, maybe that was a sign :-) strange... :-).

I myself don't really think about it unless the bathroom is very very quiet. Often there's music, toilets going off, shoes clicking, people talking to others or on their cells. That's a funny thing, woman talk on their cells like crazy (or even start making calls) in bathrooms while men seem to close their phones before they go in.

For men. its in and out as quickly as possible, no loitering. I don't know what happens if you loiter... Do you wind up turning gay or something ;-).

[Renae.Lupini]

I went to the bathroom sitting down my whole life (even when I was a child!!) and I always hit the water without sitting back, it hung straight down, maybe that was a sign :-) strange... :-).

I myself don't really think about it unless the bathroom is very very quiet. Often there's music, toilets going off, shoes clicking, people talking to others or on their cells. That's a funny thing, woman talk on their cells like crazy (or even start making calls) in bathrooms while men seem to close their phones before they go in.

For men. its in and out as quickly as possible, no loitering. I don't know what happens if you loiter... Do you wind up turning gay or something ;-).

Confidence is merely the ability to not give a damn what people around you think so I would most certainly say you did have confidence.

[zombiesarepeaceful]

Interesting. In the men's room I tend to go in, use the urinal ^_^ and get out. But if I gotta take a crap I go in, text a few people, get lost in thought, then realize I'm still here.

Lance

[seldom]

The carry letter does not hold any actual legal weight, but in terms of enforcement it does.
Even in Virginia, police officers are trained to let TS who have carry letters basically walk away from any incident.  It is not saying we are above the law by any means, rather it states that this is part of a recognized medical treatment. 

It is a bit complex, but the letters are helpful.  I have never encountered anybody who had to use one, but I have heard stories where a person was able to walk away because the officer read the letter and explained the situation to the other party.

Restrooms are a risk of the process in some states without gender identity nondiscrimination laws.   

[Renae.Lupini]

The carry letter does not hold any actual legal weight, but in terms of enforcement it does.
Even in Virginia, police officers are trained to let TS who have carry letters basically walk away from any incident.  It is not saying we are above the law by any means, rather it states that this is part of a recognized medical treatment. 

It is a bit complex, but the letters are helpful.  I have never encountered anybody who had to use one, but I have heard stories where a person was able to walk away because the officer read the letter and explained the situation to the other party.

Restrooms are a risk of the process in some states without gender identity nondiscrimination laws.   

I had a puzzled reaction to using my old ID even though the info on it was still legally correct when going on base one time. At that point in time I kept a black binder with me that had all of my paperwork in it. I showed the letter to the guard and he had the lok of "AHHHH, I get it now" and told me to have a good day.

Did I have to show the papers? Not at all. It was my choice to show him the letter than try and break down my entire life in two minutes.

[robinhayes]

After reading all the replies to this thread, I have to conclude it depends on where you live.

In Portland, we've been out several times with folks along the whole spectrum of passability, and have never been hassled in the ladies' room.  This is not just at "gender events" but just in general.

I always assumed I'd just explain -- calmly -- that it's better to risk complaints about the ladies' room than to risk personal injury as a cross-dressed man in the men's room.  If a proprietor wants to kick me out, then that's OK, they can lose my business.  I've never heard of anyone having trouble with police, but Portland tends to be on the accepting side for a number of things.

Regards!
Robin