Outed by SO

[Diane Elizabeth]

    Well. I came out to my son last week and we parted with him having an open mind.  I have not heard from him since then. 

    Today, I found out that my SO told her son about me.   I also found out that he twitters my son.   I didn't know they were in communication with each other.   From what the SO said, her son thinks I am weird or something.   I asked her about his response and she said that they were interupted by his 10 yr old.   She also told one of her brothers.  His reply was that I was crazy. 

      Luckily they are 120 miles away from me.   Next month is Thanksgiving.  Thats when I will see most of her family.  The SO ssays they won't tell anyone.   Right!  Now if she told her mother then everyone would know about me.  At least they do not have any contact with my family members that don't know yet.

[~RoadToTrista~]

I can see how easy it is for an SO just out someone to several people, but ugh, to put it lightly I would find it very irritating.......

[Felix]

I told my sister awhile back, and I thought it went without saying that she shouldn't tell the rest of our family, who are ignorant and bigoted. She told pretty much everybody right away, so I changed my number and don't speak to her anymore.

[Beep]

Aw, you guys. I'm a little disappointed in ya all.
You shouldn't be so ashamed of who you are. Who you're about to become. Families are an awesome part of life, and I'm sure if you properly sat down with each of them (maybe not all at once) and just explained your situation to them, they would understand completely.
If they still think you're "weird" after that, then I guess your family never really cared much about you in the first place.

[Cindy]

I think that there is a human truth that if you tell one person a secret it is no longer a secret. I suggest using it as an opportunity. Don't be afraid, walk tall as the men and women that you are. If you are not proud and accepting of yourself, how can others be, who don't understand?

And believe me, I know how difficult it is. But it gets easier with every acceptance you give yourself.

Cindy

[Felix]

I've been in foster homes and on the streets off and on since I was twelve. Most of my family stopped speaking to me when I got pregnant outside of wedlock, a long time ago. These people don't know where I am or what I do for a living.

My sister and I used to be close, and we still talk once a year or so, but I had no idea she even hung out with any of my other family. Her telling them is about on par with my boyfriend telling my grocer or something. Totally unexpected and reckless. My relationship with her is not worth the gossip and abuse the rest of them can dish out. I'm not interested in prayer or condemnation, or in trying to argue about who and what I am.

[Cindy]

Sorry Felix,

Circumstances change things, and obviously I was not aware of yours. Sorry if you felt I was unfeeling, I'm not.

Cindy

[Felix]

Hey Cindy you're fine. I just dumped out all those unhappy details to explain that staying closeted with some folks isn't about shame. Sometimes it's just practical. I'm not energetic or emotionally stable enough to deal much with unhealthy people who don't care about me.

I am proud, and I do put effort into getting along with and gaining the acceptance of people in my community.

Your comment about secrets is absolutely true, and the other stuff you and Beep said was good too. My situation is stupid, and nobody should be expected to take such parameters into account when giving such happy and encouraging advice. 

[Gadgett]

Sorry you had to experience that.

That's why the only people who know are people who don't know any of family or people I don't want to let know. My family is a modern day com center. You tell one and you can bet by the end of the day everyone will know.

[Diane Elizabeth]

Its not so much that we are ashamed of who we are, but knowing that certain people in our lives are non-accepting of what we do.  If one is not ready to risk cutting the string that ties them to family then one is not ready to come out and say who they really are.  I have done things in my life that I am not ashamed of but I do not care for my family to know what I have done in the past.  I would rather avoid long disapproving looks and conversations.  It all depends on what your relationship is with the familymembers.  Mine is close with my mother and son.  The rest is not that close.

[Lynn]

When I came out to my SO, about an hour later 5 more people knew.

I really didn't mind her telling anyone, but I was pretty pissed off at her doing that without me knowing. The least she could've done is ask me if it's fine to tell anyone. It destroyed a big deal of my trust in her.