Well, my hematocrit has been creeping up a little here and a little there. I am on a "standard" dose of T. Based on my previous blood work from a few months ago, the doctor I saw at the clinic was thinking I should reduce my T dose a little, by about 25%. I was worried about my depression and my SAD, and so was he. He said we could revisit this issue in the spring. But the latest blood work is higher than last time. It was in the high forties a couple of years ago, and now it's at 51. The danger zone is basically 52 and up. I'm running a higher and higher risk of heart attack or stroke.
I just talked to the nurse on the phone, and SHE was suggesting that I cut my dose in half. I will consider reducing my dose, but not by that much and not all at once. She's going to get hold of the doctor again and get back to me.
She also suggested that I give blood on a regular basis. This is what one of my acquaintances does to reduce his RBC. I have always wanted to give blood but have been barred from doing so because I'm honest about my sexual history. When I was in my twenties and still living as a woman--and when I had my old name--I told them that I had had sex a few times with a practicing bisexual male. They said thanks but no thanks, and I never went back. That was in the mid-eighties, at a high point in the AIDS crisis, but the policy has not changed.
They won't have kept records on me, but anyway I have a different name now and could easily lie to them about my thirty-years-past sexual escapade so that I can donate. But I'm living as a gay man, and that presents problems. First, when asked whether I have had sex with men, I would have to say yes. That's an automatic disqualification. Second, well, I have ideological objections to hiding that I am gay. In addition, I resent that the policy is still in effect. And there's still that bisexual lover from 1981.
He's a college professor now (I googled him) and seems to be fine. I have tested negative myself and am in good shape. I'm not sexually active. And I have gay friends who lie to the blood bank because they would rather donate blood than stand on principle. What's the harm in lying? I would be helping my community and myself. I wouldn't have to cut back my T dose, or not much, and my moods would remain relatively stable.
I keep telling myself these things, but I'm not convinced that lying to the blood bank is an acceptable thing to do. And I would have to hide my gayness. That seems repugnant to me, a point of pride, even though it would last for maybe an hour, half a dozen times a year.
I don't mind other people's perspectives on this issue, but I guess I mostly needed to unburden myself.
