Ask Matt: Outing Yourself for the Comfort of Others

[Shana A]

Ask Matt: Outing Yourself for the Comfort of Others

October 24, 2011 by Matt Kailey

http://tranifesto.com/2011/10/24/ask-matt-outing-yourself-for-the-comfort-of-others/

A reader writes: "I'm a 22-year-old trans guy just starting to feel my transition is mostly behind me. I've been perceived as male 100 percent of the time for maybe six months now, and I am semi-stealth. I had a strange experience the other day that raised a lot of questions for me about openness, visibility and disclosure.

"I was riding in an elevator with a woman. She made some joking small-talk remark to me, and when she spoke and looked at me I guessed she was probably trans (though of course it's impossible to know for sure). It's hard to explain why, but in the moment the thought passed through my mind, I felt she could tell I was thinking it, pegged me as a young cis guy, and became uncomfortable. I tried to give her an extra-friendly smile, but she abruptly turned away. I struggled to think of something to say, but I found myself at a loss, and then she hurried out of the elevator without further comment.

[Julie Marie]

The question I would have to ask is, "How much of this could have been your own stuff?"

As to the title of the thread, I really can't see how outing yourself would, in a general sense, cause others comfort.  Would you "out" your religion to a complete stranger?  How about your political views?  Maybe you could talk about sports or better yet, the weather, and that could make someone feel more comfortable, but your birth gender?  I don't think so.