Hello, I'm new here

[Cute Ida]

I'm Ida. I'm 28 and I am a pre-transition male to female transsexual/transgender/transwoman/whichever term you prefer. I guess I'll start by saying what brought me here.  Almost a week ago I came out to my parents. Well, actually I was in the process of writing a pre-face to face talk letter but before I could finish it my parents cornered me and made me tell them why I was feeling so depressed for a few days and mostly staying in my room. Just to let you all know, I had to move home in June 2011 due to financial reasons but got a new and better job at the time I moved home. Anyway my parents wanted me to tell them what was going on, so I was forced to give them the unfinished letter. I wanted them to read it, mull over it for a few hours and then talk. They made me stay in their room while they read it and instead of asking me questions later they asked me as soon as they were done reading it.  My parents reacted badly. I was brought up in the catholic faith. I am sure there are a number of you who were brought up in a christian religion like that. My parents don't accept it. They did tell me that they were going to try to understand it. It's really hard to believe that they will try to understand it.  My parent's lump transgender in with gay. They say GLBT is a choice. I know it's not. You're born like that. They refuse to believe that you can be born like that. A few years ago I had a transgender girlfriend. I was still male and she was a transitioned male to female non-op filipino transwoman. Unfortunately we only had two years, three months and 13 days to spend together before she died of tuberculosis and pneumonia.  My parents believed my filipino transwoman soulmate was nothing more than a gay man in a dress. Of all the nerve! Anyway that's the way they are going to see me too. I was seeing a counselor but due to the move home and out of the area my case was closed but was reopened prior to my parents finding out. Even though my parents don't accept it, my sister accepts and supports me. Not only am I transgender I was also diagnosed 11 years ago with Asperger's syndrome. It's on the autism spectrum. I had an asperger's support group in the town i was seeing my counselor, i still go those meetings once a week. On Oct.27th I had a counseling appt and the asperger group meeting. That day after work I dressed up as a girl. I borrowed a pair of my sister's shoes which fit and one of her tops. I also had my own girls socks, jeans, bra and panties that I bought myself as a boy. I even bought make up and practiced for two weeks to make it passable. I looked for a wig but all I could find was a halloween wig. It had to do. I went to the counseling session and the asperger group as Ida. Except for the wig I was totally passable. The others in the asperger group didn't recognize me and thought I was a new girl to the group. I told the group. There are about 8 of us in that group. Every single one in the group accepted me and still over a week later still supports me. I want to transition. Its starting to get to the point to where I HAVE to transition. Parent's won't let me transition in their house. Not only that they want me to wait 1 and 1/2 to three years before I transition after I have saved up a certain amount of money. I can understand their viewpoint about financial matters and how dangerous it could be for me during and after transition in regards to discrimination or violence against me.  I don't think I could even wait a year to transition. My plan is to find a roommate to live with and move back out again, then after my hair is to a certain length start my official transition at work after informing them of course. I still have to find out the policy concerning transgender employees. I work at a ymca camp. I do custodial work. Even if the staff accepts it there is a chance I could still be fired for it. The reason I could be fired is because its a ymca camp for kids and the staff might not want a transgender custodian to be seen by either kids or anyone else working to clean the buildings. Also my parents don't like the name I chose for myself: Ida. Well, that's what brought me here. I know I'll find understanding and support from those that have either gone before me or those who are traveling the same road with me. Sorry it's so long. Until the next time I post. Bye!

                                                                                                                                 Ida

[Devlyn]

Hi Ida, welcome to Susans! We're glad you joined us. Take a look around the site and jump right in! Hugs, Tracey

[Sophie]

Hi Ida. I'm sorta new here myself. I want to say hi and tell that everyone here seems sweet and understanding. 

[Catherine Sarah]

Hello Ida,

And a BIG Aussie welcome to Susan's. You are most welcome here and are quite safe. You are among many genuine and thoughtful friends. Feel free to ask any type of question, they are all important. The only silly question is the one you never ask.

I too came from a Catholic background, and can understand your parents viewpoint, albeit being totally inappropriate. But nevertheless. Yes; a good move to leave to a more appropriate and positive environment would do you the world of good.

Transitioning is a complex and involved process, and may take you sometime to see its fruition. Typically speaking a minimum of 2 years would be the absolute minimum time frame you should allow for.

I'm so sorry to hear of your girlfriend. That appear to have been a tragic loss for you. As you are still counting the days, I suspect you are still grieving for her. This is very natural and grief too, takes its toll and time to move through. If you are not aware of the various stages of grief, I suggest you ask your therapist, so you can chart your way through those issues before you take on the issues of transitioning; which by their own virtue have their own unique set of circumstances to overcome.

There are some considerable hurdles you have to jump in the transition "stakes" and I'm not sure how familiar you are with them. Might be a good idea if you come up to speed with those before anything else. So; the floor is yours, just ask away.

In the meantime, I hope you enjoy your stay. I hope it's long and fruitful for you. Embrace and enjoy the journey. It's an ABSOLUTELY fabulous one.
Be safe, well and happy
Lotsa luv
Catherine

[AbraCadabra]

Welcome by me too - and lots of good luck honey :-)

Axelle

[DebbieS]

Hi Ida.

[RachaelAnn22]

HI Ida,welcome to Susan's.Hugs,Rachael.

[skm4441]

*Waves* Hi, Ida! Welcome to Susan's!  You will find it excellent here on the forum!

[MarinaM]

Hi, and welcome to Susans! We have people come to visit us from all over the world, expressing different points of view, and you are likely to find someone to help you along your way Here are some important links and things to ponder as you begin your journey here.

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