A toungue in cheek look at a day in the life of Noah's family

[SarahM777]

Have you wondered what it may have been like for a day in the life of Noah's family? Could it possible that it may have been like this?

                                              A Day in the Life of Noah's Family by SarahM



Have you ever wondered what it must have really been like for Noah and his family as he was building the ark? Hmmmm

Wavy picture fades to flashback.

Noah's Wife comes storming into his workshop.

Noah!!! Noah!!!!! I need to have a word with you. You have been at this project for 119 years and six months and you promised
me that we would be going out to that new play tonight. I just got back from trying to do your laundry and there isn't a
single piece of your clothing that is not covered in pitch,i nearly tripped in a woodchuck hole,the monkeys took all the laundry
and scattered it around the yard,the elephants have trampled the garden,the squirrels and chipmunks have dug up all the freshly
planted bulbs. You said there was going to be two of every animal and now the bunnies and mice are not listening. For some reason
they have taken upon themselves that two is not enough. And i really do not like the way the lions are looking at me.
The new neighbors are avoiding me and they think you have gone off the deep end. They are going to take this matter of your little
hobby to the town board as part of the ark is on their property and is blocking their view of the rose wood tree at dusk.
Our daughter in laws refuse to go to town with me and to top it all of you FORGOT OUR ANNIVERSARY TODAY!!!!!

Noah's wife exits the workshop in tears.

Picture fades to Shem,Ham and Japeth

Ham
Why do i have to go get the sloths??? You ever try to get a sloth to move!!!!!
I mean after all why do you think they call them sloths?? All they want to do is sleep all day and we have a dead line.
And after that Dad wants me to go and herd some felines!!!!!! Have you ever try to herd felines???

Japeth breaks in

What are you complaining about??? Dad wants me to deal with the lawyers and town council. The town council has voted
to retroactively tax all sea going vessels even in production and they want to tax us for the last 119 years. The lawyer will
take our case but he wants 2 years worth of retainer fees. The town council also has voted that all sea going vessels must
be moored elsewhere before the end of the year or they will start fining us.We also need to get a zoo permit but because we are not
trained as professional zoo keepers it looks like it will get turned down.The next door neighbors have also brought a claim
as we did not get an easement as when the ark was laid we went over the property line by 5 cubits. Then to top it off
they want to have dad committed as a ward of the town to get him off the streets.

Japeth breaths a heavy sigh

Shem then speaks

I know it's bad but we need to hang in there. Those things you guys are looking at doesn't seem to bad take a look at what Dad wants me to do.
I as suppose to get all the supplies and as of today we are short 1,000 gallons of pitch, 1,500 linear feet of gopher wood, and provisions for
to last us over a year. The Mammoth pitch company has gone out on strike, the employees are asking for three weeks of vacation,time and
a half for anything over 40 hours and double time over 50 hours per week.They also want two 30 minute breaks and one full lunch hour.
The company stills wants a 50 hour work week and will only give them time and one quarter after 50 hours. Only 1 sick day per year and will
only give them one week of vacation after 2 years and only if the employee has not missed a day. The lenders will no longer give us any credit
due to the legal issues and the lien that the town has placed on the ark. The provisions have been delayed due to the fact the messenger
service lost our payment and the company will not ship any more out till the back balance is cleared up.
And to top it off one of our supply shipments was held up over the weekend by bandits. Any time either of you two would like to trade jobs  please go for it.

Picture fades to Noah after a very hard and long day

Noah with head in hand and a deep sigh speaks

Lord,
I know you want me to build this ark,i have sweated and toiled for over 119 years. You have seen all the problems i am having
my sons think i have gone off the deep end,my neighbors are suing me,the town is ready to lock me up and to top it off i forgot my anniversary today.
and i still believe you want me to build this contraption but if you don't mind i really have just one minor question to ask you "Why me?"

[mowdan6]

Hi Sarah.  This is something I have always thought about in reading the Bible.  That, these people were Human, and the thoughts and turmoil they must have faced, in doing God's will.  Even Abraham.....telling his wife, Hey we are leaving this place.  Her saying...where are we going? and Abraham saying....I have no idea. 
Or...look at King David, a man that the Bible says was a man after God's heart.  talk about a dysfunctional family. 
I think we all get caught up in the dogma and forget, these are simple human beings who God used in miraculous ways.  That with God.....we can do anything!   

[tekla]

The master shows how its' done.

[Annah]

Sarah

You forgot the ending where Noah got drunk and had sex with his son!

Well, that may need to be written in the Over 18 "Erotic Writings" section

[Laurie K]

Cosby's, Noah, I s a classic

[mowdan6]

And who did God condemn?  The son,  not Noah. 

[Annah]

The Hebrew Bible has a lot of "interesting ways" and perspectives of condemning people.

If a girl is raped and the guy was caught, if he does not marry her she's condemned.

Condemnation is not often "fair" in the Hebrew Bible

[SarahM777]

Hi Sarah.  This is something I have always thought about in reading the Bible.  That, these people were Human, and the thoughts and turmoil they must have faced, in doing God's will.  Even Abraham.....telling his wife, Hey we are leaving this place.  Her saying...where are we going? and Abraham saying....I have no idea. 
Or...look at King David, a man that the Bible says was a man after God's heart.  talk about a dysfunctional family. 
I think we all get caught up in the dogma and forget, these are simple human beings who God used in miraculous ways.  That with God.....we can do anything!   

Hi Mowdan,

I think to often we try to place the patriarchs,apostles and other people from the bible on pedistals and we forget that they were just as human and had just as many questions as we do. So often the bible only tells us a very small part of the story and leaves out so much and we often do not have how they reacted or what they had to really deal with and that is only left to our imagination.  Sometimes it helps to look at it from a different perspective and try to place myself in their situation and I begin to realize that what i am going through may be different but the questions and some of the things that we are very much the same.

The master shows how its' done.

Telka,

I would never try to compare myself to Bill Cosby. He is a very good comedian and so much better than I.
Sometimes I just find I can look at things from a different angle and if you can see a bit of humor in it gones a long way.

Sarah

You forgot the ending where Noah got drunk and had sex with his son!

Well, that may need to be written in the Over 18 "Erotic Writings" section

Annah,

I haven't gotten that far and I will leave that for someone else.

[Kristyn74]

OH  PLEASE DO WRITE ANOTHER!

That was great....Give another .....How bout MOSES

[Kristyn74]

Hey Annah..just a Q Isnt that just cultural differences? I watched a doc once where when a girl has her first period the tribal leaders have to initiate. we dont see it and when we do we label it as wrong?only because of what we have been taught?
Your perspective?


Kristyn

[SarahM777]

OH  PLEASE DO WRITE ANOTHER!

That was great....Give another .....How bout MOSES

I will have to think about that. 

Usually it's when we are doing longer bible studies where we are going through the entire story of Noah or Jonah when i get these. (We haven't gone through Moses but we did go through Noah Abraham and Jonah) It was when we started going through Jonah that i started getting these thoughts soo... . I mean what was it like from the Fish's perspective? 

[Annah]

Hey Annah..just a Q Isnt that just cultural differences? I watched a doc once where when a girl has her first period the tribal leaders have to initiate. we dont see it and when we do we label it as wrong?only because of what we have been taught?
Your perspective?


Kristyn

Oh, I absolutely believe it is cultural. I don't mean to throw the thread off hilter skilter because I found Sarah's story very funny so I'll just be very quick about it.

So much of the Pentateuch was written due to the cultural issues of the day. The first five books of the Hebrew Bible were written so that the Jews had something to identify themselves with (well...Hebrew People....the word "Jewish" wasn't coined until the Hellenistic period). For example, the Book of Deuteronomy was written by King Josiah (or by priests of Josiah's reign) because the other half of the Israel/Judah empire had fallen and the Hebrew people needed a guide to show that they were uniquely different from their neighbors (who were often viewed as vile and perverted people). The Hebrew word "foreigner" also means "enemy" and or "outsider." Thus, rules....and even ridiculous sounding rules and laws were developed because no others had such laws like the Hebrews did. Many of those laws did exist prior to Josiah but so much were indeed culturally based.

[SarahM777]

Oh, I absolutely believe it is cultural. I don't mean to throw the thread off hilter skilter because I found Sarah's story very funny so I'll just be very quick about it.

Thank you Annah,

For me it's not a problem if the thread goes off topic. (Sometimes someone else can see something that at first
doesn't seem to fit but if it goes full circle it can often be tied together in some pretty good ways)