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sex and such

Started by anibioman, November 02, 2011, 09:22:56 PM

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anibioman

hi guys how do you have sex? do you use a prosthetic? do you use a dildo and a harness? also i was wondering how you bring up the subject with your partners. i know a lot of people feel uncomfortable when it comes to talking about sex, especially people my age.

Nygeel

I haven't had sex in a pretty long time. I use different methods. Some times I keep it to just oral or uh...manual. Other times I use a "strap on" which I consider sort of an extension of my fleshy bits. I probably could use what I have to penetrate but I haven't been in a situation to do that.
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Wesley_33

 >:-) I just whip it out and go at it  ;D   

It takes a lot of talking to your partner to figure out what will work for both of you. My last gf was who started the convo. She said she was willing to try out a strap on. So we found one she felt ok with.
What is the most beautiful in virile men is something feminine; what is most beautiful in feminine women is something masculine.



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Wolfsnake

Usually oral, manual, or anal. I bottom and top, using hands or toys. I'm going to be getting a harness this weekend, which should make things easier. Looking at the SpareParts brand.
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Nygeel

The spareparts joque is fantastic.
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Kreuzfidel

I use an ultra-realistic dong and strap-on harness to penetrate with.  Like the others, I also use my mouth and fingers to pleasure my partner.  I don't bottom, so no comment there.  My cock is made by Doc Johnson.
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Nathan90

Oral, manual (is that really called manual? xD) and we use a strap-on which either of us can wear. No anal though. (both ftm)
Instead of waiting for the storm to pass, learn to dance in the rain
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Darth_Taco

Not sure how to describe it...Anal, like most gay couples. We take turns :'P. When it's my turn to top I use a strap-on (no monies for an actual prosthetic). I allow him access to the other hole (I refuse to call it by it's actual name! D:< ) because I'm comfortable with it. Oral, but he's not allowed to perform on me. Sometimes manual, but I'm beginning to develop arthritis on my fingers (which is not helped by typing ;_;) and my boyfriend works with his hands all freaking day as a butcher, so it's a rarity :'P. Mouth on ass is permanently off limits @_@!
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Wolfsnake

I realized I'd forgotten to answer the second question...whoops.

Anyway, the way I bring it up is to just...bring it up. I'm a fairly blunt, literal-minded person, so I like to set boundaries and let my partner know what works and what doesn't. I have chronic pain problems, so communication before sex is crucial, or else I end up feeling like crap for a few days.

One way to sort of get the conversation rolling is to ask about fantasies. Ask your partner to describe theirs, and ask about details (where, with what, how hard, what texture, what should your hands/mouth be up to, etc.). Then make sure they do the same for you, and describe what you like, what you think about doing, what you don't like, and what you've never tried but are curious about. By the end of it you'll both have a good idea of how the other works, and hey presto, you're both ready to go.
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anibioman

thanks guys this is a bunch of good answers so far.

N.Chaos

B's offered/suggested to get a strap on because he likes anal, but I don't know about it. I think I'd feel too self conscious, or just ridiculous. Which sucks.
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Prince Larien

My (male) partner and I occasionally have sex, but its more for his benefit than mine. Its always anal though!!!
He knows about me, but we never talk about it and he has never seen anything.
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Wolfsnake

Quote from: N.Chaos on November 05, 2011, 01:34:03 PM
B's offered/suggested to get a strap on because he likes anal, but I don't know about it. I think I'd feel too self conscious, or just ridiculous. Which sucks.

I felt this way too for a long time. Just going into adult stores usually makes me really intensely uncomfortable, and I don't want to buy anything. I worry I'm going to spend a chunk of cash on something I'll feel too uncomfortable or mortified to ever use. I debated for a long time about getting a harness and a dildo, but just today I went out with my boyfriend to an extremely nice adult store (Pure Pleasures in Santa Cruz CA. The folks who work there have degrees in human sexuality and are all awesome, open-minded, and queer-friendly. Website is http://www.purepleasureshop.com/ ). I got a little tense and uncomfortable, but we walked around and poked at stuff for half an hour until I loosened up, then went to look at the harnesses and dildos. Long story short, we bought one of each. And I am so happy we did. I put that thing on and it felt so comfortable. I felt sexy and aroused and it was a ton of fun to finally be able to top hands-free. I didn't feel ridiculous. It didn't make my dysphoria worse. Overall, it made me feel less dysphoric and more like everything down there was "right." I was a lot less frustrated during sex than I usually am.

A few things I did to help myself feel more comfortable wearing the contraption were to buy a fairly realistically-textured and -shaped dildo that both my boyfriend and I liked (not a crazy veiny pink one), buy a non-feminine harness (the Joque in black from SpareParts), and wear the harness with boxer briefs. Worn on the outside, it hardly feels like you're wearing anything unusual, and if your underwear is dark-colored the harness blends right in. Worn on the inside, there's no distracting straps and the dildo can protrude through the fly for a very realistic experience.

Fun things to do besides penetration with a harness include watching your partner give the dildo a ->-bleeped-<- or handjob (maybe while fingering you behind the harness), frottage or g/g rubbing, mutual masturbation, and other kinds of rubbing. There are tons of possibilities.
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