Well I am still on my journey of self discovery and I am as confused as ever. I have been a CD most of my life but I am now finding that I am being driven to be more than just a CDer. I want to spend more time as female than male and finding I have no control over myself. I am an older person, 53yo and work in a male dominated industry that makes it very hard to express myself as female.
I wish to find out who I am and why I have a growing need to express myself as female but unsure as to where to go or who to contact. I live in Australia so I find it very hard to find groups or people who may be able to help.
Having grown up in a society that dictated the role of males and not having access to internet or information in my early times in exploring an innateness to dress in female clothes, I found myself thinking that I was weird and alone. Fearing violence both physical and mental, I chose to masculinize as much as I could through weight training. I was very slim and feminine in appearance but ridiculed a lot hence my decision to "bulk up".
A decision I now very much regret.
The internet has allowed me to see that I am not alone and I am not weird but do have a problem in associating myself as what gender.
Hence I find myself here hoping I can at least find any help in my journey in self discovery.
